An Agent's Inbox #1

Dear Ms. Testerman:

I was glad to read you’re looking for funny MG, and you’re a fan of Terry Pratchett. I think middle grade readers with Pratchett’s appreciation of the ridiculous will enjoy my MG novel, THE BUNGLEWAD SQUAD.

Stubby Hintertail thought life in his isolated mountain village couldn’t get any worse. The Captain of his Boot Camp already assigned him to the lowly Bunglewad Squad because his corkscrew tail makes him a grade-A klutz. And being squad mates with a monstrous cat who can’t stop eating, a whiskerless close-talker, and a hypochondriac who wraps herself in tree bark is bad enough. But now, Stubby’s mother rescues a peculiar kitten from the river, enrolls it into the Bunglewad Squad, and charges Stubby to watch over it like a brother.

The sadistic Captain Marks detests the bizarre kitten, and Stubby for being its brother. He tries to punish them all with harsh drills, but grows irate when he can’t do a single thing to wipe away the new kitten’s smile. The Captain doubles and redoubles his efforts to make them suffer, but this has unexpected results on Stubby’s squad, due to a fact no one realizes about Stubby’s new brother.

Can Stubby and the rest of THE BUNGLEWAD SQUAD learn to be functioning cats, with a little help from a dog?

THE BUNGLEWAD SQUAD is a completed 41,000 word MG book that’s The Bad News Bears meets Warriors.

As for me, I’m a crossword puzzle constructor published in the NY and LA Times.

Thank you for your time, and congrats on the blockbuster success of Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children!

J.C.


THE BUNGLEWAD SQUAD

A small gray cat teetered on a high branch with one paw curled around a red crab apple. “Father, hurry!” he shouted. “This apple is burning my nose, and I’m losing my balance again!” A breeze kicked up and he dug his claws into the swaying oak.

“Just a moment, Stubby,” his father said from below. He stood erect on his hind legs and patted down white fur exploding from his head. “Proceed to drop it.”

“Are you sure?” Stubby asked. “You won’t get hurt?” Stubby cracked an eye open, but quickly squeezed it shut as he caught a glimpse of the eerie Zwicksturm River in the distance.

“I don’t know--it may be even more painful than the granite rock,” his father replied. “But science waits for no cat! And please remember: as my apprentice-in-training, you must follow my every instruction.”

“Sorry, sir,” Stubby mumbled. All the other privates are right, he thought. I’m just a stupid, good-for-nothing bungler. He shuddered as he pictured the village sign which haunted his every moment:

THE STRONG SHALL LEAD
THE ADEQUATE SHALL WORK
THE FAILURES SHALL LEAVE

What if I fail at Zwicksturm Boot Camp AND this science apprenticeship? I’d be exiled from our village, into the wild! Who knows what crazy beasts live outside the Great Stone Schutzwall?

Now Accepting Entries!

UPDATE: And that's a wrap! We've got our 20 entries! Look for those to go up first thing Wednesday morning (or later Wednesday morning, if you live on the East Coast)!

I'm now accepting entries for October’s round of "An Agent's Inbox"! Here's a quick refresher:

The Rules

1. To enter, your manuscript must meet two conditions: First, it must be COMPLETE, POLISHED, AND READY TO QUERY, and second, it must be in one of the genres The Agent represents (which are listed at the bottom of this post).

2. IF YOU PARTICIPATED IN ANY OF THE PREVIOUS ROUNDS OF “AN AGENT’S INBOX,” please DO NOT participate in this one UNLESS YOU HAVE A NEW MANUSCRIPT that meets the criteria listed above. I have a pretty good memory, and I will disqualify previous entries. If the entry slots don’t fill up by Tuesday, October 18, I may allow previous participants to enter (but to be honest, I’ll be surprised if we make it that far).

3. All entries must include A QUERY and THE FIRST 250 WORDS of your manuscript. You must paste these items IN THE BODY OF YOUR E-MAIL; otherwise, I'll disqualify it.

4. THE ENTRY WINDOW OPENS AT 10:00 A.M. EDT (OR 7:00 A.M. PDT). Once the entry window opens, I'll accept the first 20 entries. I won't accept any entries sent before the entry window opens or after the first 20 slots fill up.

5. If your entry makes it in, I'll send you a confirmation e-mail with a post number. If your entry doesn't make it in, I'll still send you an e-mail, but it won't have a post number.

6. If your entry makes it in, YOU MUST COMMENT ON AT LEAST 3 OTHER ENTRIES.

The Prizes The Agent, Kate Schafer Testerman* of kt literary, will select both the winners and the prizes. She might pick 20 winners, or she might only pick one. She might offer full requests, or she might only ask to see another page. It all depends on how good the entries are.

Please keep in mind that THIS CONTEST ISN'T FOR THE FAINT OF HEART. I've encouraged The Agent to treat the entries exactly as she would a normal batch of queries. Essentially, she’ll be answering the question, "How much of the entry did you read, and if you didn't read it all, why did you stop?" I think this process will be instructive for all of us, but if you enter, you need to be prepared to hear exactly what The Agent thinks of your query and first page.

The Genres

YA fiction (all subgenres)
MG fiction (all subgenres)

To enter, please send an e-mail with YOUR QUERY and THE FIRST 250 WORDS of your manuscript to kvandolzer(at)gmail(dot)com. And please, please, please remember to PASTE THESE ITEMS IN THE BODY OF THE E-MAIL.

*I know this probably goes without saying, but you should probably treat this round a little differently because you already know who The Agent is. Specifically, if Ms. Testerman has already rejected your query, YOU PROBABLY DON’T WANT TO ENTER UNLESS YOU’VE MADE SIGNIFICANT CHANGES TO YOUR QUERY AND/OR MANUSCRIPT. I’m not going to say you can’t enter (mostly because I have no way to police it), but you--and she--are going to get a lot more out of this contest if you enter something The Agent hasn’t seen before.

"An Agent's Inbox" Contest Alert

THIS IS NOT A CALL FOR ENTRIES! I'M JUST GIVING YOU A HEADS-UP. THE CONTEST OPENS NEXT MONDAY, OCTOBER 17.

“An Agent's Inbox” is exactly what it sounds like--next week, I'm turning the blog into an agent's inbox, a public one. We'll get to see 20 queries along with their first pages, and we'll get to hear what a bona fide agent thinks of each one.

The queries and first pages will be yours, of course. I'll accept your entries this Monday, October 17, and then I'll post them next Wednesday, October 19. The entrants and anyone else who wishes to review them may comment on them until the following Tuesday, October 25, when I'll announce the winners.

Those winners will be chosen by The Agent, and this month, we’re handling things a little differently. Sharon Bayliss suggested a while back that we try a round in which we know The Agent’s identity right off the bat, so that’s what we’re going to do. I’m pleased to announce that The Agent for this round is none other than Kate Schafer Testerman* of kt literary.

The Rules

1. To enter, your manuscript must meet two conditions: First, it must be COMPLETE, POLISHED, AND READY TO QUERY, and second, it must be in one of the genres The Agent represents (which are listed at the bottom of this post).

2. IF YOU PARTICIPATED IN ANY OF THE PREVIOUS ROUNDS OF “AN AGENT’S INBOX,” please DO NOT participate in this one UNLESS YOU HAVE A NEW MANUSCRIPT that meets the criteria listed above. I have a pretty good memory, and I will disqualify previous entries. If the entry slots don’t fill up by Tuesday, October 18, I may allow previous participants to enter (but to be honest, I’ll be surprised if we make it that far).

3. All entries must include A QUERY and THE FIRST 250 WORDS of your manuscript. You must paste these items IN THE BODY OF YOUR E-MAIL; otherwise, I'll disqualify it.

4. THE ENTRY WINDOW OPENS AT 10:00 A.M. EDT (OR 7:00 A.M. PDT). Once the entry window opens, I'll accept the first 20 entries. I won't accept any entries sent before the entry window opens or after the first 20 slots fill up.

5. If your entry makes it in, I'll send you a confirmation e-mail with a post number. If your entry doesn't make it in, I'll still send you an e-mail, but it won't have a post number.

6. If your entry makes it in, YOU MUST COMMENT ON AT LEAST 3 OTHER ENTRIES.

The Prizes The Agent will select both the winners and the prizes. The Agent might pick 20 winners, or she might only pick one. The Agent might offer full requests, or she might only ask to see another page. It all depends on how good the entries are.

Please keep in mind that THIS CONTEST ISN'T FOR THE FAINT OF HEART. I've encouraged The Agent to treat the entries exactly as she would a normal batch of queries. Essentially, she’ll be answering the question, "How much of the entry did you read, and if you didn't read it all, why did you stop?" I think this process will be instructive for all of us, but if you enter, you need to be prepared to hear exactly what The Agent thinks of your query and first page.

So get those queries and first pages polished up, then meet us back here on Monday, October 17, at 10:00 a.m. EDT! At that time, you may send your entries to kvandolzer(at)gmail(dot)com. Looking forward to it!

The Genres

YA fiction (all subgenres)
MG fiction (all subgenres)

(If you have any questions, feel free to leave them in the comments below...)

*I know this probably goes without saying, but if you’re thinking about entering, you should probably treat this round a little differently because you already know who The Agent is. Feel free to do a little research and include personalization in your queries. Also, if Ms. Testerman has already rejected your query, YOU PROBABLY DON’T WANT TO ENTER UNLESS YOU’VE MADE SIGNIFICANT CHANGES TO YOUR QUERY AND/OR MANUSCRIPT. I’m not going to say you can’t enter (mostly because I have no way to police it), but you--and she--are going to get a lot more out of this contest if you enter something The Agent hasn’t seen before.

(Work-in-) Progress Report: Steve

Word count (to the nearest thousand): 52,000 (6,000 less than last time)

Status: Finished with the third draft!

Attitude: Cautiously optimistic

Third draft complete! And now Steve’s off to meet his next round of beta readers. Thanks, Ben, Jeni, and Kelly! I know he’s in good hands.

I’m optimistic about Steve because the feedback I received from my last bunch of betas was so positive. (One of them even said she read the whole thing in one sitting!) But I’m cautious because I know there are as many opinions in this industry as there are people, and I don’t want to get my hopes up.

I’ve read posts from agented and published writers that say things like, “This manuscript was special from the start. It was the best thing I’d ever written, and I poured everything I had into it. Somehow, I knew it would be the One.” Well, Bob felt like that manuscript for me, and now that he's racked up more rejections than anything else, I know nothing’s a guarantee. No manuscript can be the One (until it actually sells), because too many of the factors that determine its success--or failure--are outside of our control.

I know Steve still needs some work, but at least for the time being, I feel pretty good about where he’s at. So where are you at with your projects, and how do you feel about them?

P.S. In case you missed my tweet, October's round of "An Agent's Inbox" starts next week, and this month, we're trying something new. I'm revealing The Agent's identity RIGHT NOW. I'm thrilled to announce that Kate Schafer Testerman of kt literary will be next week's guest judge, so get busy on those entries!

Book Recommendation: KETURAH AND LORD DEATH by Martine Leavitt

I’ve been tearing through some great books lately, so today you get to hear about another one:) Another good friend and critique partner Myrna suggested I read KETURAH AND LORD DEATH, and I’m glad she did. It’s a few years old, and I haven’t heard a lot about it around the blogosphere.

The storyline is fairly simple: Keturah meets Lord Death in the forest after being lost for several days. He tells her he is there to collect her soul, so to buy herself a little time, she tells him a story. But she doesn’t finish it; in exchange for the story’s ending, she asks for one more day of life. She wants a chance to find her true love. Lord Death grants Keturah’s wish, and as one day becomes two, then three, Keturah learns a few things about life--and love.

What begins as a charming fairy tale ends as a deeply personal allegory on the part of the author, and that’s what really hooked me. I tend to read the Acknowledgments first these days (I’m always on the hunt for a few good agents), so I knew that Ms. Leavitt’s sister, who died of cystic fibrosis as a child, was a major source of inspiration for the book. To quote Ms. Leavitt’s own words, “Now, as a mother and grandmother, I realize what a long journey dying must be for a child to make alone. I wish I could have walked with her a little way. This book is my way of doing so.”

If you like vibrant, soul-deep romance and heart-achingly beautiful prose, you’ll love KETURAH AND LORD DEATH. And for those of you who’ve read it, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments (even if they disagree with mine).

Book Recommendation: OPEN by Andre Agassi

My good friend and critique partner Kelly suggested I read this book after I e-mailed her several weeks ago to ask her a few things about Florida. (My next manuscript, the as-yet un-nicknamed one, takes place in Florida. And it involves tennis. Guess my cat’s out of the bag.) Mr. Agassi’s autobiography hooked me from the first word.

As you might imagine, Mr. Agassi has been playing tennis for pretty much ever. But what you might not imagine is that he’s hated it for about that long as well. Distorted by the constant pressure to be the best, to conform to his father’s standards--and those of the entire tennis world--he was often moody, rebellious, and unconventional. But that unconventionality, he says, was not really who he was.

To be honest, I didn’t always believe Mr. Agassi’s declarations of innocence. How can you pretend to be something for so long and not let at least a little bit of it become a part of you? Still, I found his defense riveting, and here’s what I do believe: Mr. Agassi is one of the most generous, least self-serving famous people I have ever read or heard about. He is a devoted husband and father. And for a ninth-grade dropout, he cares more about education than many educators I’ve spoken to--and puts his money where his mouth is. (His school, Andre Agassi College Preparatory Academy, sounds like one of the best things growing in Las Vegas at the moment.)

If you're even marginally interested in tennis or like to read about larger-than-life personalities, definitely check out OPEN (which, by the way, is perhaps the most perfect title ever). And if you know anything about playing professional tennis as a teenager--say, if your name is Christina McHale or Andre Agassi--feel free to shoot me an e-mail:)

P.S. You should know that Mr. Agassi--well, one of his coaches, mostly--uses the F-word now and then. I didn’t think the F-words in OPEN were gratuitous, but they were there. Just something to be aware of.

September's Winners!

First off, let’s hear from Ms. Paquette!

I had a lot of fun judging this contest, and very much enjoyed the wide variety of voices, genres, and subject matter. While I hope my comments on the queries and sample pages were helpful, it’s important to note that these are just one agent’s off-the-cuff opinions and reactions; others’ mileage may vary. This is above all things a subjective business, so I encourage you to keep revising, keep polishing, and above all, stick with it.

A few other notes: Several of these queries and manuscripts had been previously sent to me, so in those cases I had a wider familiarity with the material, and I didn’t request projects I had already considered. There were also cases where a project was not picked as a winner but did intrigue me enough that I mentioned in my comment an interest in reading on further, or reading additional work by this author. If I made such a comment on your submission, please feel free to send me your query and first 5 pages via the agency website form at emliterary.com.

I wish you all the best with your querying and journey toward publication!

And now for Ms. Paquette’s winners and prizes.

First place: #44 HARBINGERS

HARBINGERS wins a request for the query and first 50 pages!

Runners up:

#8 TRUSTING TRINITY
#9 MIRAGE
#23 A SKETCH IN TIME
#27 CRY HAVOC
#40 KORU
#43 SOMNILOQUY

These entries all win a request for the query and first chapter!

Winners, please e-mail me at kvandolzer(at)gmail(dot)com for instructions on how to submit your pages to Ms. Paquette! And for those of you who aren’t in this list but got a comment from Ms. Paquette like “I would read on” or “I’m interested in reading future work” and have questions you think I might be able to answer, feel free to e-mail me as well.

This turned out to be an awesome round, with lots of energy and wonderful feedback from Ms. Paquette and everyone else. Thank you so much for entering, for critiquing, and for blogging, tweeting, and Facebook-ing about the contest. I really appreciate the shout-outs and your participation.

October’s round of “An Agent’s Inbox” is just over the horizon, so keep an eye out for that. In the meantime, I hope to have a few more interviews and a bevy of hopefully interesting posts from yours truly to share.

Have a great Monday, everyone!

The Agent = Ammi-Joan Paquette of Erin Murphy Literary Agency

This month's agent was Ammi-Joan Paquette of Erin Murphy Literary Agency! If you'd like more information about Ms. Paquette (besides what you can glean from her QueryTracker page and agency website), you might follow these other links:

Ms. Paquette's author website
Absolute Write's subforum on Ms. Paquette's agency

And now for a few quick blurbs.

From Erin Murphy Literary Agency's "About" page: "Joan joined EMLA in spring 2009 as an associate agent after working in the editorial area of educational software development. In the last few years she has placed dozens of manuscripts with editors and is especially passionate about connecting with and launching the careers of debut authors. As the “East Coast branch” of EMLA, Joan works from her home office in Massachusetts, with long-distance support from the main Flagstaff office. She represents all forms of children's and young adult literature, but is most excited by a strong lyrical voice, tight plotting with surprising twists and turns, and stories told with heart and resonance that will stand the test of time.

An EMLA client herself, Joan is also the author of a picture book, THE TIPTOE GUIDE TO TRACKING FAIRIES (Tanglewood, 2009), a mid-grade novel NOWHERE GIRL (Walker, 2011), and several other books due out in the next few years. When she is not on the phone, answering e-mail, or writing, you will most likely find Joan curled up with a book. Or baking something delicious. Or talking about something delicious she's baked. Really, after books and food, what else is there worth saying?"

From Erin Murphy Literary Agency's submission policy: "EMLA is closed to unsolicited queries or submissions. We consider queries that come to us by referral from industry professionals we know, and individual agents are open to queries from attendees of conferecnes where they speak. If you have met us at a conference or have a referral please paste your query into the contact form on this page. Please note that we are no longer responding to unsolicited queries or submissions sent in hard copy form via post or other means, and those sent via e-mail will receive a form rejection."

You should note that the Erin Murphy Literary Agency is generally CLOSED TO UNSOLICITED QUERIES AND SUBMISSIONS. However, if Ms. Paquette mentioned she wasn't necessarily interested in the manuscript you submitted to "An Agent's Inbox" but was interested in seeing future work, YOUR QUERY NO LONGER QUALIFIES AS UNSOLICITED. That's huge, guys. HUGE. So make sure you add Ms. Paquette to your to-query-someday lists if you're in that group.

That's all for now! Winners coming up sometime in the next couple of hours...