Are You Hooked?

I entered Bonnie's first page in this week's in-house critique session over at Authoress's blog. This story is probably closer to my own truth than any of the other stories I've written, and for the last couple of months, I've been seriously thinking about self-publishing it. If you have a few minutes, I'd love to hear what you think!

Mini (Work-in-) Progress Reports

It's been a while since I've shared anything about my works-in-progress, so I thought I'd round them up!

Steve

Word count (to the nearest thousand): 60,000
Status: Waiting for first pass pages
Attitude: Exhausted (but it's a good exhausted)

This little manuscript has been on a long journey. As I mentioned in a recent post, Steve has undergone a ton of changes in the year since he sold, but I think the end is finally in sight. I reviewed the copyedits several weeks ago, so we're down to first pass pages and, after that, ARCs. In the meantime, the illustrator is busily working on the cover (though I haven't seen even a draft, so don't ask me what it looks like!). Also, you should know that THE REGENERATED MAN isn't going to stick, but I think you'll like Steve's new title even better. More soon!

Clyde

Word count: 45,000
Status: Working on the first revision
Attitude: Determined

Though Clyde sold almost a year ago, we've had to put him on the back burner while I worked on Steve, so now we're playing catch-up. (In an amusing twist of fate, Clyde's editor's name is also Steve, so that's made for some exciting (read: confusing) e-mails.) It's been a little weird to work on this story again--I haven't even opened up the document in the last sixteen months--but it's also been kind of cool to see how far I've come as a writer. Oh, and DUEL/DUET isn't going to stick, either, but then, we've always known how terrible I am at titles:)

Bonnie

Word count: 71,000
Status: In a holding pattern
Attitude: I haven't even thought about this manuscript in a while, so I guess I can't really say

Like a pair of unruly two-year-olds, Steve and Clyde have been demanding my attention for the last several months, so I haven't even thought about this manuscripts in a while. But I still love this story and hope I get a chance to share it with the world someday.

Casper

Word count: 10,000
Status: Sitting in Kate's inbox
Attitude: In love

Call me superstitious, but I've been hesitant to talk about this manuscript online. I had this idea a few months back that simply wouldn't leave me alone, so I scribbled down the first five chapters in about a week. (I also threw together a synopsis so I could get a handle on the plot, and it clocked in at a whopping 5,000 words. Holy synopsis, Batman!) I've passed it off to Kate so we can figure out where to go from here, but I've fallen in love with this concept and these characters and hope I get a chance to write the rest of it someday.

I also have ideas for two more manuscripts that I desperately want to write--one's an MG, one's a YA, though they're both contemporary--but I'm not sure I'll be able to throw another ball into the mix (let alone another two). At least I won't run out of things to write for the foreseeable future:)

How are your works-in-progress coming along?

ALL FOUR STARS Winner!

Without any ado, the winner of my ARC is theoneiwantedtobe!

I don't have a way to contact you, so please e-mail me at kvandolzer(at)gmail(dot)com with your name and mailing address, and I'll get ALL FOUR STARS in the mail.

To everyone who entered, thanks. ALL FOUR STARS comes out in a little less than six months, so the wait is ALMOST over:) And to everyone who commented on Bonnie's title, double thanks. We're still considering our options, but Bonnie should have an official title within the next week or so!

Help! Bonnie Needs a Real Title

Help! I'm almost finished with Bonnie, and I still haven't come up with a title. I feel like I'm stuck in a bit of a rut, so I thought I'd throw some ideas out and see what you guys think:

BEFORE AND AFTER

BEFORE AND AFTER YOU LEFT

BEFORE AND AFTER YOU WENT AWAY

FROM HERE ON OUT

ME AFTER YOU

WHERE WE GO FROM HERE

I know it's tough to evaluate a title when you have no idea what the story's about, so here's a query-style summary I came up with on the fly as well as the first page:

The Summary When seventeen-year-old Karina Hart gets a text from an unknown sender--at pearl st bridge. its over--she doesn't assume a race ended. She assumes the sender's about to jump. And sure enough, when she gets to the bridge, she finds Matthew Singer, who's standing on the railing, considering the drop. Before their lives went down the toilet, they used to be friends, and Karina sees Matthew as a chance to redeem herself.

Fifteen-year-old Karina Hart knows as soon as she gets home that her sister is dead. Still, she can't quite believe it when she finds Lily in the bathroom, an empty bottle of sleeping pills clutched loosely in her hand. Lily promised her she wouldn't kill herself, and like a fool, Karina believed her. If Karina hadn't been so stupid, Lily would still be alive.

As the front story moves forward and the back story moves backward, Karina realizes why she feels compelled to save Matthew from himself and, more importantly, where she needs to go from here. But knowing and doing are two very different things, and Matthew's life isn't the only one that hangs in the balance. If she can't figure this out, she might lose her mind, literally.*

The First Page I get the text on Monday night, in the locker room at the Y. My phone chirps in my pocket, but I don’t pull it out. My parents would assume I’m either in the pool or on the road, and none of my friends bother to contact me anymore. I towel off my hair, then stuff my things in my bag. It isn’t until I’m trudging out the door, the last one to leave (as always), that I slide my phone out of my pocket. I don’t recognize the number, but the message makes me trip:

at pearl st bridge. its over

A dozen explanations race through my head--a car died, a race ended, someone just had a baby on the side of the road--but the only one that makes sense is also the only explanation I can’t think out loud.

I flick back to the number and remind myself to breathe. The digits gleam in the dim light, but I still can’t place them. The number isn’t in my contacts, and the sender didn’t sign.

Whoever sent the text didn’t mean to send it to me.

At least that’s what I tell myself as I half jog, half stumble across the parking lot to Lily’s car--my car--the car she left behind. For the first time since I inherited it, I have a hard time getting the key into the lock.

“Stupid key,” I mutter even though I know my hands are trembling. As I climb into the car, the only things I can think about are those six little words: at pearl st bridge. its over.

I know it's almost as tough to evaluate a title based on a few hundred words, but if you have any thoughts, I'd love to hear them! (And if you have any other ideas for the title, feel free to throw them out!)

*Please note that I realize how vague and mostly unhelpful that third paragraph is. It's just hard to summarize two diverging plotlines in a single paragraph, and since this isn't an official query, I don't want to give myself a headache:)

In Defense of the Romantically Clueless MC

Come back tomorrow afternoon for an INTERACTIVE interview with Clelia Gore of Martin Literary Management. She'll be taking questions from 11:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m. EST!

One of the most consistent pieces of feedback I've gotten on Bonnie is that Karina's totally clueless when it comes to Matthew. It's obvious to readers that he's interested in her, but Karina doesn't pick up on any of his cues. It isn't until her friend finally comes out and says it that Karina realizes Matthew has a thing for her, and according to my critique partners, she should figure this out sooner. Since they did.

But novels, even realistic ones, aren't necessarily realistic. We carefully construct our stories for maximum impact, then sprinkle in a lot of clues and clever foreshadowing. We want our stories to make sense, so we press them into tidy molds and tie up our loose ends.

But real life is rarely so neat.

In high school, I had a friend named Ian. He asked me to Homecoming our junior year (though I ended up going with Honey Bear, but that's another blog post), and we ate lunch together every day our senior year. After we graduated, he asked me out a few times, including once right around Christmas. We were home from school--he was up at Utah State while I was down at BYU--and one afternoon, he called and asked if I wanted to check out this comedy troupe. I said, "Sounds fun! Who else will be there?" and he said, "Me," and I said, "Oh." After one of those long, awkward pauses, I rushed to assure him that I'd love to go, that it would be great to see him, that I was looking forward to it. And I was. The show was funny, and it was nice to catch up afterward. (Even though it was December, we chatted over Frosties for several hours in his car.)

I think that night was the first time it occurred to me that Ian could possibly like me. It was also the last time we ever talked. Honey Bear came home from his mission six months later, and we discovered we still liked each other. Then Ian left on his mission a few months after that, and we didn't keep in touch.

I'm still not sure why I didn't pick up on Ian's cues* sooner. He asked me out multiple times--in fact, he's the only boy other than Honey Bear who asked me out even once, which should have tipped me off--and he went out of his way to show up wherever I happened to be. In hindsight, it seems so obvious, but I didn't see it for the longest time.

So the next time you're tempted to smack a romantically clueless MC, give him or her a break. This whole love thing is tougher than it looks.

*Ian, if you ever stumble across this post, I do apologize for my inanity. And if I completely misrepresented your point-of-view, feel free to set the record straight:)

(Work-in-) Progress Report: Bonnie

Word count (to the nearest thousand): 73,000
Status: Line editing (as always)
Attitude: A little weary

I'm down to sentence-level changes on this latest draft, but the sentence-level changes are always the toughest, at least for me. I always feel like the clunkiest, wordiest writer on the planet when I'm trying to streamline my prose, and since I'm also trying to inject a bit more voice into the manuscript, the going on this pass is even slower than it usually is.

Voice isn't generally something I have to think a lot about; it just kind of flows. But somewhere in the switch from MG to YA, I lost some of my mojo. I know a lot of people think it's tough to nail an MG voice, but I, for one, find it much easier to write a precocious twelve-year-old than a mature seventeen-year-old who's interesting enough to spend three hundred pages with (and who doesn't bug me to death).

To that end, I asked my Twitter followers to share their favorite YA reads with non-slangy, non-snarky characters. I got some great suggestions, so I thought it would be fun to share them with you:

I'LL BE THERE by Holly Goldberg Sloan The best thing about this book is that it's written in third person, and not particularly close third, either. I'd forgotten how much you can do with an impartial narrator who kind of floats above the story. I considered whether or not it would be worth it to flip Bonnie from first to third but ultimately decided against it. Since Bonnie is so personal, I think switching it to third would create unnecessary distance between the reader and my MC.

THE QUEEN OF KENTUCKY by Alecia Whitaker The MC in this book had a very distinctive voice, but it read too young for me. Now in Ricki Jo's defense, she WAS only fourteen, so I guess she had a good excuse. As my mother can attest, I was a basket case at that age:)

SMART GIRLS GET WHAT THEY WANT by Sarah Strohmeyer Of all the books I've read to educate my YA voice, this book was the one that spoke to me the most. I loved Gigi, Bea, and Neerja, who were interesting but not annoying, witty but not sarcastic. They were just the sorts of girls I would have wanted to hang out with in high school (if I'd been the sort of girl to hang out in high school, that is). If you love contemporary romances with strong, well-developed characters, definitely give SMART GIRLS GET WHAT THEY WANT a read.

DAIRY QUEEN by Catherine Gilbert Murdock I'm not finished with this one, but I've already enjoyed it quite a bit. D.J. is a great character with a ton of voice and charm. Actually, I think she and Ella Mae would get along famously, which is the main reason I don't want to draw too much inspiration from this book. I just don't want to write the same character over and over.

Are there any other books you think I should pick up to educate my YA voice? And how are YOUR works-in-progress coming along?

Depression Is Hard to Write About

Bonnie is about a lot of things--swimming, survivor's guilt, first love, forgiveness--but in my heart of hearts, she's always been about major depression. I started writing her almost a year and a half ago, so at first, my characterization was based on memories that were more than ten years old. But as I've experienced a few more low points over this last year, I've realized how much I got wrong. And how much I sensationalized.

The truth is, I'm the Mr. Rogers of depressed people. I've never attempted suicide (though I have contemplated it), I've never felt compelled to cut or inflict pain on myself, and my depression is brought on by relatively mild life events. Maybe I'm a wimp--actually, I strongly suspect it--and just can't handle the normal ups and downs that other people take in stride, but for better or for worse, this is how MY depression feels, and I accept that.

I think we writers have a penchant for puffery. We're always mining for conflict in our stories, so I guess it would make sense that we occasionally feel compelled to hunt for conflict in real life. For that reason, I sometimes feel guilty for claiming to be depressed, like I'm not depressed ENOUGH. Like my depression isn't real if I'm not a danger to myself or others AT THIS VERY MOMENT.

But as one of my critique partners oh-so-accurately put it, even moderate major depression can be deadly, and moderate major depression is what a lot of us seem to have. We know how to cover up our symptoms and put on a brave face. On our best days, we even seem normal and happy. But underneath it all is a steady stream of negativity that, if left unchecked, can come back to bite--or even kill--us.

Which I why I think this story is so important--and why I want to get it right. I'm not there yet, but as long as I don't give up, I think I can get there someday.

What is it they're always saying about art imitating life? :)

(Work-in-) Progress Report: Bonnie

Word count (to the nearest thousand): 67,000
Status: Out of my hands
Attitude: Exhausted

Well, it finally happened. For a few days last week, I officially hated Bonnie. It didn't last long (now I'm only tired of her), but I can confirm there were a couple of moments when all I wanted to do was pitch her over a cliff. Thankfully, I didn't (I think I'm thankful, at least), and now she's safely into the hands of her next round of readers.

I don't know why, but these moments of self-loathing always take me by surprise. At the outset, I expect to love every project for every second I'm working on it. I forget how hard, how painful, it will be (it's kind of like childbirth that way), so when the self-loathing hits, I worry that something's wrong, that I've wasted the last six months or whatever on a manuscript that's going precisely nowhere.

But what I hope I'll remember from here on out is that it's ALWAYS like this. I always decide at some point (usually while I'm line editing) that every project is hopeless, that it's the dumbest thing ever, that I should give up right now. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that if I don't hate a project at least once in the process, I'm probably not giving it everything I've got. That's kind of nutty and counterintuitive, but at least in my case, it's also true.

How do you get through those moments of self-loathing? Or maybe I'm the only one who hates her stories at some point...? (Bonus points for using as many parentheses as possible!)

(Work-in-) Progress Report: Bonnie

Word count (to the nearest thousand): 72,000
Status: Waiting to hear back from the first round of betas
Attitude: Pumped

Just a quick note to say I sent Bonnie to her first round of betas last week and that the early feedback has been very positive. It's exciting, because I've felt the same way about Bonnie that I did about Steve, and it's nice to get a little validation. Plus, we all know how my good feelings about Steve turned out:)

Also, I wanted to let everyone know I'll be posting a contest alert for next week's round of "An Agent's Inbox" TOMORROW, so definitely come back and check that out. The lovely Melissa Sarver of Folio Literary Management will be judging next week's round, so you won't want to miss it!

Last but not least, I'd love to hear how your works-in-progress are going. Are you drafting, revising, querying? Are you happy, sad, going crazy? (Those activities and emotions generally match up for me:) )

(Work-in-) Progress Report: Bonnie

Word count (to the nearest thousand): 65,000, maybe?
Status: Constructing the second draft
Attitude: Still smitten

I'm not sure about the word count because I'm literally constructing the second draft from scratch*, copying and pasting scenes into a blank document, writing new ones as I go (sometimes on the backs of random scraps of paper). I think I've mentioned this before, but I'm usually a VERY LINEAR writer, so this is new territory for me. And it's EXCITING.

It also helps that I am completely, one-hundred-percent in love with both the concept and the characters. This is my first attempt at YA contemporary since I was in high school, and so far, the thrill hasn't worn off. I described Bonnie a little in my interview with Kate, so I'll repeat that here in case you missed it:

My current work-in-progress is a YA contemporary told in alternating time frames. In the first chapter, seventeen-year-old Karina stops a boy from jumping off a bridge; the second chapter flashes back to the day fifteen-year-old Karina found her older sister dead after she swallowed a bunch of sleeping pills. The front story moves forward and the back story backward from there.

Blending the time frames has been tough, but it's also stretching me in ways I haven't stretched for a long time. I still have a long way to go--it's very possible these time frames only make sense in my own head--but I'm excited about the journey. And that's something to blog about.

So where are you at with your works-in-progress? Are you smitten, energized--or ready to poke your eyes out with a spoon? I'm sure we can all relate to both:)

*I know you rabid Apple folks are going to tell me to try Scrivener, and I do plan to check it out someday. But since I'm usually, as I said, a very linear writer, I've never found a need before.

(Work-in-) Progress Reports: Bonnie and Clyde

Word count (to the nearest thousand): 64,000 for Bonnie, 43,000 for Clyde
Status: Wrapping up Clyde’s latest round of revisions and Bonnie’s first draft
Attitude: Focused

It occurred to me a few weeks ago that, in the seven-plus months since I signed with Kate, I’ve written well over 100,000 new words and (almost) completely revised one full manuscript. That’s the most writing I’ve ever produced in a seven-month period BY FAR.

I suspect the reasons for this are twofold. First, I had two ideas come to me at about the same time. I feel pretty strongly about releasing a debut and a follow-up that will appeal to roughly the same readership, so I already knew I wanted to write another MG. But not long after I started Clyde, another shimmering idea came to me that simply refused to be set aside. So I started Bonnie, and I’ve been juggling both ever since. (At least they’re both contemporaries, right?)

Second, now that I have an agent, I kind of feel like I have this obligation to write that I didn’t have before. Don’t get me wrong--Kate is supportive and chill and never makes me feel like I have to work harder. But I WANT to work harder because I know I’m not the only one relying on my efforts anymore. And because this lifelong goal seems so close I can practically touch it. I just want to get there, get there, get there!

Besides, I’m in this for the long haul; I want to sell many, many manuscripts over the course of my lifetime. And if that’s going to happen, someday I’ll have deadlines and multiple books under contract, so I figure this is good practice:)

How go your works-in-progress? Anyone out there juggling more than one project, too?

(Work-in-) Progress Reports: Bonnie and Clyde

Word count (to the nearest thousand): 41,000 for Bonnie, 45,000 for Clyde
Status: Bouncing back to Bonnie after wrapping up Clyde’s latest draft
Attitude: Meh

Here’s how my month went down: I added almost 30,000 words to Bonnie in the first few weeks of August, then turned my attention back to Clyde once my readers’ notes came in. They gave me some great big-picture stuff to fix, so I spent about a week and a half working through their suggestions. Since I was a little ahead of schedule, I thought I’d give the manuscript one last read-through and start cleaning up the prose.

Worst. Idea. Ever.

I don’t know why I think that last read-through will make me like the story more, because it never does. Nothing short of silky smoothness will satisfy me when it comes to wordsmithing, and that’s a hard standard to meet over the course of an entire manuscript. Mind you, no manuscript--and not even any published book--is perfect, but I usually feel pretty good about ninety-five percent of the sentences by the time I’m finally done.

Clyde’s hovering somewhere around fifty percent at the moment. Yuck.

Anyway, I’m trying not to think about it while I wait to hear back from Amy and Jeni (and Kelly, too, of course!). Instead, I’m devoting all my subconscious thought to Bonnie. I wasn’t quite sure where to go with her a few weeks ago, but now the gears are churning again. I’ve already had a few ideas that should give me more to write, so that’s something, at least.

How are things going for you?

(Work-in-) Progress Reports: Bonnie and Clyde

Word count (to the nearest thousand): 13,000 for Bonnie, 44,000 for Clyde

Status: Collecting my reward:)

Attitude: Relaxed and optimistic

I finished Clyde’s second draft about two weeks ago, took a week to mull things over, and dove back into Bonnie last Thursday or Friday. True to my word from May’s report, I didn’t let myself go back to her until Clyde was out of my hands.

So Clyde’s with beta readers (hi, Ben, Liesl, and Myrna!), and Bonnie’s coming along. And my streak of firsts continues. This is the first time I’ve ever worked on two projects simultaneously, and it’s also the first time I’ve ever bounced around while writing a first draft. I tend to write very linearly, from page one to page whatever, without skipping a single scene, but I’m not doing that with Bonnie. In fact, I’ve given up on numbering the chapters altogether, since I can’t tell right now exactly where they’re going to fall.

I suppose it makes at least a little bit of sense, since Bonnie isn’t a linear story, anyway. I’m telling the front story going forward and the back story going backward from two similar events, interweaving related scenes as I go along. But therein lies the problem. Right now, all of the ideas my subconscious is spinning out are related to the front story, so I’m running with those. Surprisingly, this jumping-around isn’t driving me crazy. I’m (mostly) going with the flow and letting things happen as they will--which, if you know anything about me, runs directly counter to my usual MO:)

I don’t know how long this carefree productivity will last, but I’m definitely enjoying it while it’s here. If this keeps up, I may have to move the family to Hawaii so my location will match my mood…

What about you? How are your projects coming along, and how do you feel about them at the moment?

(Work-in-) Progress Reports: Bonnie and Clyde

Word count (to the nearest thousand): 3,000 for Bonnie, 24,000 for Clyde
Status: Chugging through the first drafts
Attitude: Excited

Look, a (work-in-) progress report! It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these. I’m happy to report that my new project, who shall be known from this day forth as Clyde, is coming along at a nice pace. I’m not writing him quite as quickly as I wrote Steve, but then, I have been a bit distracted, what with “The Writer’s Voice” and all. Still, I’m hoping to finish the first draft sometime within the next month. We’ll see how I do.

Clyde is a straight-up MG contemporary, with no fantastical elements or funny business. He’s a cute, quirky little manuscript who’s forced me to get in touch with my inner nerd:) But mostly, he’s just forced me to admit that I might really be a writer of realism and not a writer of fantasy.

I started to suspect this while I was writing Steve. Sure, Steve has a few less-than-plausible plot points, but I truly believe that, at his core, he’s a genuine historical, with period characters making period decisions according to the standards and mores of their day. Steve is about real life, and so is Clyde. Real life, apparently, is what I write about.

To further cement this theory, my other Shiny New Idea is also for a contemporary, this one a YA. Since I kind of think of these two manuscripts in the same thought, I’m naming this one Bonnie. She’s going to be my pet project for the time being, my experiment, and as such, I’ve only written a little more than her first chapter. Once I get my buddy Clyde into the hands of beta readers, I’ll reward myself by writing Bonnie:)

I’ve wanted to write a book set in two different timeframes for a few years now, so I’m going to try that with this one. I’ll tell the front story moving forward from a particularly significant day for the MC and the back story moving backward from another equally important day. This will also give me a chance to try my hand at present tense. In truth, I’ve never been a huge fan of present tense--it often feels like a gimmick to me--but in this case, I think it will help me keep the front and back stories straight.

Yep, these two projects have definitely forced me to reevaluate my own writerly self. I’ve always considered myself to be a writer of big, bold fantasy and science fiction, with lots of explosions and action scenes. But the truth is, I think I’m better at writing the quieter, more intimate moments between characters, and for the first time in, well, ever, I feel like I’m playing to my strengths.

So how are your projects coming along, and have they ever forced you to think about your writer-self differently?