Five Winners!

Without any ado, Dr. Stender's winners:

#12 THE TITANIC CAPER
#20 ESCAPING FATE

THE TITANIC CAPER and ESCAPING FATE win full requests!

#19 SOUL RIPPER

SOUL RIPPER wins a request for the first 100 pages!

#4 VERY CAREFULLY AND NOT ALL AT ONCE

VERY CAREFULLY wins a request for the first 75 pages!

#23 LIGHT KEEPER

LIGHT KEEPER wins a request for the first 50 pages!

Congratulations, winners! Please e-mail me at kvandolzer(at)gmail(dot)com for instructions on how to submit your materials.

Lastly, a big thank-you to Dr. Stender for taking the time to share his insights and a big thank-you to YOU for being brave enough to enter and critique. I know it isn't easy to have your work picked apart, but I hope the experience has been instructive. Best of luck with your other queries, and happy Halloween!

The Agent = Uwe Stender of Triada US Literary Agency

This month's agent was Uwe Stender of Triada US Literary Agency! From his website: "Literary Agent Dr. Uwe Stender is a Full Member of the AAR (Association of Authors' Representatives). He is interested in all kinds of commercial fiction, especially Young Adult, Middle Grade, Mysteries, and Women's Fiction. He is also interested in all kinds of non-fiction projects. But surprise him, his tastes are eclectic, and he may just love what you wrote!

"His favorite five novels right now are: Eleanor And Park, How It Went Down, Code Name Verity, High Fidelity, and The Big Sleep."

If you'd like to connect with Dr. Stender, definitely check out his new Twitter handle, @UweStenderPhD. I'll announce his winners in a few!

It's "An Agent's Inbox" Time!

Check out the entries below, then leave some feedback in the comments if you feel so inclined. (ENTRANTS, PLEASE REMEMBER TO CRITIQUE AT LEAST THREE OTHER ENTRIES!) And I'm sure this goes without saying, but please keep your comments constructive (i.e., not rude or mean-spirited). If you want to think like The Agent, you might consider the question, "If you were an agent, would you request more of this entry?"

I'll reveal The Agent's identity and announce his or her winners and prizes at the beginning of next week, but until then, have at it!

(For your information, I take out profanity when I'm formatting the entries, so if you notice any asterisks, they're my asterisks, not the entrants'. Also, entrants, if you find a Krista-generated error in your post, feel free to shoot me an e-mail, and I'll correct it straightaway.)

An Agent's Inbox #25

Dear Mystery Agent:

DANGER TASTES DREADFUL is a middle grade fantasy, complete at 34,000 words. Think of the gentle humor and friendship in Eva Ibbotson's THE GREAT GHOST RESCUE with the classic adventure style of the NARNIA books. The novel stands alone, but has series potential.

Ten-year-old Bernie is a troll, and trolls should be fearless. At least, that’s what Bernie’s dad says. But before Bernie gets a chance to prove himself, giants stomp into the forest and steal his parents. Now, the timid, always-hungry Bernie and his mischievous, rock-obsessed best friend, Tish, must travel together across the barren lands to Mount Dreadful and find a way to keep their loved ones from becoming the main course in a giant feast.

Inside Mount Dreadful's smoky caverns, Bernie and Tish discover the giants have enemies of their own who may prove even more dangerous than the giants. Bernie and Tish must figure out who is friend and who is foe, rescue the captured trolls and escape the mountain, all without getting squashed or roasted or eaten alive.

I have published short stories in several small press SFF print anthologies, as well as stories and poetry for both children and adults in magazines such as Beyond Centauri, Strong Verse, and Enchanted Conversation.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Regards,

B.L.

DANGER TASTES DREADFUL

To a troll, trouble had its own spicy, cinnamon smell. Bernie recognized it because a faint whiff always hung around his best friend, Tish. But the tang in the air smelled much stronger. He bent down, close to the ground. His green, sweaty feet stank, but it was something else. He sniffed again, then stuck out a thick, stubby tongue and licked the dirt path.

It tasted bitter, though somehow familiar. Bernie thought about where he might have tasted it before, when he felt a beetle wriggling on his tongue. He spat out slobber-covered twigs and leaves across the path, but caught the beetle and munched on it, enjoying its crunchy flavor.

Bernie stopped chewing. That bitter flavor was the taste of danger! He looked around, but didn’t see anything unusual. No footprints on the path. No looming shadows under the trees. No beady eyes peeking out from behind a bush. Nothing moved except the leaves which danced in the gentle breeze.

Crack!

The loud noise echoed through the forest. Bernie stared in the direction of the mysterious sound. He knew what he should do, what his dad would do. He should investigate, find the trouble, stop the danger. After all, trolls were tough and feared nothing.

At least, that’s what his dad always said, but Bernie didn’t feel tough. His knees wobbled, his ears lay flat and his heart hammered like a woodpecker in his chest.

An Agent's Inbox #24

Dear guest agent,

THE MALATHION EFFECT is a 67,000-word young adult/speculative fiction riff on The Dead Zone and Jay Asher/Carolyn Mackler’s The Future of Us.

Fifteen-year-old Cameron Riker struggles to master a mysterious illness that allows her to see glimpses of the future. Bad ones. She’s both excited and overwhelmed by her new powers. How far into the future can she see? And more importantly--who can she save? 

As Cameron tests her limits, the illness threatens to destroy the health and sanity of her childhood friends, two brothers who have the same strange abilities. When one brother unravels completely, the three confront the gritty reality that to stay alive, they have to stop trying to save the people they see in their visions. But can they live with themselves if they do? 

Cameron and the brothers race to understand why they share the debilitating psychic powers amid family secrets, suicide, and the sparkling swimming pools of their Southern California suburb. Ultimately, they must uncover whether their actions are predetermined and if they have an obligation to help others even though they are victims, too.

A bit about me: I have a bachelor’s degree in journalism and a law degree from the University of California, Hastings College of the Law. I previously worked as a prosecutor in Northern California, a political press secretary in Sacramento, and a newspaper reporter in Southern California.

Per your submission guidelines, I have included the first 250 words below. I appreciate your time and consideration.

Sincerely,

S.T.

THE MALATHION EFFECT

People say the Bellamy brothers will end up dead or in prison long before they reach adulthood, and some part of me thinks that might be true. Michael is my age and seems like he could float away at any moment, as if the earth’s gravity isn’t strong enough to hold him. I look to my right and catch the mischief-maker grin that lights up his face. His eyes are the color of Colgate toothpaste--the overly sweet blue gel kind my mom keeps buying even though I’ve told her not to. Gabriel is the opposite. He’s only two years older, but he walks around with his jaw tight and his shoulders sloped, as if he carries mankind’s sins on his back. I sneak a glance to my left, but he’s staring out the window of my brother’s VW bus as we drive up Highway 18 to Devil’s Creek Campground for a late-spring camping trip.

Michael tugs on my ponytail. “I’m glad you decided to come with us, Spammy Cami.” He has this thing where he likes to rhyme my name with ridiculous sounding words and I want to hate him, but I can’t. He’s the closest thing I have to a best friend. 

“Of course,” I say. “Someone has to keep you guys out of trouble.”

I lean into him, my head resting on the narrow, birdlike shoulder poking through his dirty gray T-shirt. I look down at my own clothes and feel grateful: clean jeans and a warm sweatshirt that smells like Tide.

An Agent's Inbox #23

Dear Agent, 

The last of her ancient order, Rapunzel refuses to sit in her tower and be hunted for the magic that now lives in her golden hair alone. Betraying the extraordinary abilities gifted to her through that very magic, she takes up arms and strikes back at those responsible for murdering her family as an assassin like no other. An assassin that won’t stop until the King burns. 

After a botched attempt on the life of the King’s one and only heir, Rapunzel unexpectedly finds herself squirming under the focus of the annoyingly charismatic leader of a growing rebellion group. Every task she undertakes for them forces her to delve deeper in to her past and pushes her towards a decision she hoped to ignore forever; embrace her magic and become the Light Keeper she was destined to be, or let the blood that stains her broken soul pull her completely in to darkness.

Light Keeper, a YA fantasy manuscript geared towards older readers and complete at 60,000 words, is a fairytale twist that will appeal to fans of Sarah J. Maas, Rosamund Hodge and Maria V. Snyder.

When my kids let me, I'm a writer, wanderluster, book nerd, Reiki Master and connoisseur of comfy sweaters and London Fogs. I’ve previously worked as a journalist for Alaska Highway News in Northern British Columbia and have published a motherhood column with them weekly for the past four years. 

As per your submission guidelines, please find the first 250 words of Light Keeper pasted below. The full manuscript is available upon request. Thank-you for your time and consideration. 

Regards,
B.Z.

LIGHT KEEPER

I am a shadow. 

Lurking. Waiting. My knife is cold against the flesh in my worn boot, my bow silent across my back. The patrons of the tavern slowly trickle from dulling their minds and senses with cheap brew and whores without even noticing me standing not three feet from them.

He emerges, loud and boisterous in his drunken state. Three barmaids support his weight out to the street and he rewards them with a firm hand on their bottom, a tongue to their turning cheeks and a casted eye to their chests that have been practically inflated with the pressure exerted by their girdles. They drop him in a heap and turn, giggling, back to the tavern that is still filled with men waiting for their turn. 

He lays alone in the street, sputtering and gagging on his own filth. I step away from the shadows, peeling them from my body like a film from a glass. My hand grasps the thick handle of my dagger, pausing as the swinging doors fly open once more and three men join my target. 

I return to the dark maw of the alley and scale the cobbled wall before swinging myself on to the unevenly tiled roof of the tavern, the gentle slope vibrating with music and voices below. Creeping to the edge of the roof, I peer down at the four men. They laugh and slap each other’s backs before thrusting their hips back and forth, igniting another round of obnoxious guffawing.

An Agent's Inbox #22

Dear Agent,

I am seeking representation for my YA contemporary thriller, THE LAST AMENDMENT, complete at 64,000 words. Framed around society’s festering racial divide, THE LAST AMENDMENT addresses the struggle many people still bear when dealing with race. It’s a story proving that the measure of one’s character is found in the heart, not skin, as the bond of brotherhood restores faith in a time of conflict.

War zones, firing squads, border disputes, bounty hunters, POW torture; all things found in a war movie. But for Barrington Prep seniors Ryan Taylor, Cooper McGill, Marcus Williams, and Michael Villalobos, that was last week. With graduation looming, they’d rather focus on their studies. But since Congress passed the last amendment to the Constitution, splitting the United States into three nations--New America for whites, Luther for blacks, and the Estados for Hispanics--life has become a constant struggle. Lately, though, it’s been hell.

It all started when, without warning, New America’s radical President-elect, Joe Lannister, authorized military strikes against both Luther and the Estados, sending the continent into chaos. Rather than deportation, Marcus (who is black) and Michael (who is Hispanic) are forced into a detainment camp for minorities. After a month of mental and physical torture, Ryan and Cooper help them escape and together, set off to get them home in a world lost to bigotry and fear. Their two-thousand-mile journey through and around said war zones, firing squads, and bounty hunters is colored by the personal pressures brought to bear on all of them in this new world; an experience that will haunt one of them forever.

I have been writing for twenty years, mostly made-for-tv scripts/screenplays and the occasional blog contribution. I also teach writing workshops for at-risk kids, many coming from diverse backgrounds. This story is inspired, in part, by them as a reminder that we, as a society, are better off when we embrace our collective differences.

At your request, additional materials, including the full MS, are available. Should you have any questions, do not hesitate to contact me. Thank you for your generous time.

Regards,

C.D.

THE LAST AMENDMENT

A layer of fine soot, fine as gun powder, covers the south-facing windows of the classroom. The window in the upper left corner has cracks etching from top to bottom, spiraling in parts like a spider web. The dust softens the images beyond the window, like looking through cheesecloth. The blue sky is silent, for a change.

In the distance, behind rolling foothills and a line of lush pines, black smoke spirals hundreds of feet into the air in a tight column. Burning tires maybe; nothing burns darker than a pile of tires. The smoke dances with an occasional flicker, putting me into an early-morning trance.

I’m still staring at the dancing smoke and gently rubbing the three-inch scar on my forearm when Marcus thumps the back of my head. He leans up to my shoulder before I can turn. “Hey Ryan, you okay, man? It’s only first period and you’re off in la-la land.”

I wake from my self-induced coma and scan the room to make sure our teacher didn’t see me disengaged. Barrington Prep Academy, Colorado’s most prestigious school--according to their brochure--takes a strict line against daydreaming, what my history teacher calls the rotting of our minds through fabricated imagery. He doesn’t get out much. Nobody really does anymore.

I’ve known Marcus for five years. Like me, he hails from the Denver suburbs. We’ve bunked at Barrington since freshman year, when we both realized that neither of us was likely to attract a better roommate.

An Agent's Inbox #21

Dear Agent:

Sixteen-year-old Hikala is an Inhikiod, one of the winged race who live high in their mountain cavern hives, never bothering to look down. Her life is flying the skies and competing in the Inhikiod flying competitions. After a reckless flying challenge injures a higher-ranking Inhikiod, she’s banished to the planet’s surface for a year, forbidden to fly.

Never having set foot on the surface, Hikala struggles to enmesh herself with the indigenous, non-winged Dawk--a race enslaved by the Inhikiod millennia ago. Only knowing the Dawk as servants in her hive, Hikala fights their hatred with the help of Tid, a Dawk who sees her as more than just an Inhikiod. He teaches Hikala fighting skills and helps her navigate the surface challenges of Aardee's bi-annual flooding and its vicious predators.

But as their friendship grows, so do the rumblings of a revolution. The Dawk want Hikala to become a linchpin in their fight to free themselves from their Inhikiod masters. But if Hikala stays to help the Dawk, to be accepted she must give up flying forever, ripping out her soul. If she returns home, she’ll break Tid’s heart and abandon her new friends to the vengeance of the Inhikiod.

Complete at 96,000 words, FIRST5, is young adult epic fantasy in the vein of James Cameron’s Avatar that will capture readers’ imaginations right from the start. It is a stand-alone with series potential. If you’re interested, I am happy to send you the completed manuscript.

Sincerely,

C.D.

FIRST5

Cradled by wind and sunlight, Hikala spun through the sky, a mirror to Sarwa’s flight. With a final triple flip, her blue and his violet wings joined together, ending their doubles sky dance with a colorful flourish. Reluctant to release all that freedom, Hikala floated on her back and screamed her elation to the sky, blue wings cupping the air beneath her. Sarwa only laughed in response, a wide lopsided grin spread across his face. He rarely expressed his joy as unabashedly as she did.

Hikala sighed, thinking the same thought she always did after every perfect sky dance. I want to forget the world and keep flying with Sarwa forever. But they had finished their doubles routine and needed to return inside for their score. Sarwa offered his hand which Hikala reluctantly took as they flew together to the King’s landing pad, the staging platform for this year’s Inhikiod Games. As they landed on the entrance platform to the huge cavern, raucous cheers erupted, surrounding them like a blanket. Hand in hand, Hikala and Sarwa strode across the stone floor while observers trailed behind them. Others touched them as they passed, awe and amazement reflected in their eyes.

From the silence of their dance and the whisper of their wings, the inside noise buffeted Hikala, heightening her sense of elation. With her wings tight to her back and twitching with excitement, she walked to the awards area to wait for the announcement of the winners.