An Agent's Inbox #6

Dear Agent:

In the laboratory, every experimental test subject is expendable--but fifteen-year-old Avery is determined to be more than another forgotten number.

With only a hazy memory of her life as Test Subject 215, Avery’s surprised when her powers surface during an experiment--then disappear after her daily medications. She knows the key to answers is in the cold and cunning Dr. Baring, who hunts for the origin and extent of her abilities. Avery’s ability to heal herself and control the five senses around her grows stronger, heightening her gift to avoid guards and manipulate her own environment. But with the medications making her powers disappear, she must rely on her own strength as well.

After Rae, a fellow test subject, attempts an escape and fails, Avery gains a feisty cellmate with the same goals: find answers and escape. Despite being tortured for protecting another subject, Avery is tempted by Rae’s rebellious spirit to fight back. But Rae is hiding something, only half-answering questions, and Avery doubts her trustworthiness.

When the girls break into Dr. Baring’s office, they discover Avery’s file dates back only nine days, not the many years of her murky memory… and worse, an experiment is scheduled that will pit subject against subject--making Rae her rival. Rae plans an escape, inviting Avery along. Now, Avery must make a choice: trust her cellmate or submit to the scientists. But with security tightened, they risk their lives and failing means facing a fate worse than death--life as a subject.

Readers who love the strong female friendship in Susan Dennard’s Truthwitch and the powers and mystery in X-Men will enjoy A FIRE TO RESIST, a young adult science fiction novel complete at 98,000 words. I currently work as a bookseller at Barnes& Noble, where I have been for over three years, and have gained knowledge in bookselling and promoting. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,
S.M.


A FIRE TO RESIST

“He’s late.” Her small whisper shattered the silence. Subject 210 lay on the lone cot bolted to the black floor along the wall of our cell. She shivered, with a force to rattle the bed, and her ankle bracelet knocked against the wall. Dirty blonde hair fell over the cot’s edge, messy from her fitful sleep. Her big blue eyes stared through the glass door, as if watching a scene only she could see. 

I glanced through the transparent pane. Nurses and overseers hustled about, their daily routine beginning. Other subjects traversed the hallway beyond our cell door, each garbed in poorly fitted grey outfits. A cell group followed their overseer in a loose mass. Behind the confident posture of the tanned woman, the pale kids curled into themselves, hands tucked against their bodies.

I sighed. “Yeah, he’s late.”

“He’s going to be angry.” Her small figure drowned in oversized grey shirt and pants, pooling around her tiny waist and shoulders. The rattling increased as her shaking grew faster--from fear, not chills.

That’s nothing new. I pulled my knees to my chest, bare feet sliding against the frigid stone, and wrapped my hands around my ankles. The thick metal band shackled on my right side felt like ice under my fingers. “It’ll be okay.”

It was probably a lie, but it calmed her. Subject 210 shifted her wide gaze to me, biting her lip blue. A purple bruise on her jaw shone in the dim light.

An Agent's Inbox #5

Dear Agent,

Nobody can see the portal to a parallel world that opens whenever Charlotte Ashdown is bored; that is, except Eleanor, her double in that world and the only other person who can see the portal. Charlotte’s parents worry that she’s talking to the air instead of making real friends at school and treat her like she’s broken. Fragile. A problem to solve. But Eleanor is Charlotte’s best friend--her only friend.

After Charlotte sees Eleanor getting bullied at school, Eleanor reveals that she believes the two girls switched worlds as babies. In Eleanor’s world, everyone has a power that is activated by a certain emotion, working like Charlotte’s boredom. Charlotte offers to switch places with Eleanor, pretend to be her, show off her portal power, and then reverse the switch. But nothing goes according to plan: Eleanor’s family can’t see the portal either, the bullies are merciless, Eleanor refuses to switch back, and no one at school will even talk to her. Unless Charlotte can make real friends--something she has never been good at--she could remain there as an outcast for the rest of her life.

THE WORLD IN THE WINDOW is middle-grade contemporary fantasy, complete at 44,000 words. It stands alone with series potential and presents solutions for bullying supported by current research. In addition to writing, I am a professional freelance copy editor, a piano teacher, and a mother of four boys.

Below are the first 250 words of THE WORLD IN THE WINDOW.

Sincerely,

R.O.


THE WORLD IN THE WINDOW

Chapter 1: Pants

“We can talk about anything you want to talk about,” Dr. Lawrence said. But what she really meant was, “Tell me about Eleanor.” It was so obvious. No matter what Charlotte said, Dr. Lawrence asked a question about Eleanor.

Charlotte said, “My birthday is in one month;” Dr. Lawrence asked if Eleanor’s birthday was the same day (it was). Charlotte said she hoped she didn’t have too much homework that day; Dr. Lawrence wanted to know if she had friends she wanted to play with after she was done. Charlotte said, “Not really.”

Mom always wanted to know if Charlotte had friends. She did have friends, sort of. There were kids at school who were fun to hang out with sometimes, but there wasn’t anyone like Marie had been in kindergarten and first grade, before she moved away. But really, Mom was overthinking it. Charlotte could hang out with Eleanor whenever she was bored.

Dr. Lawrence was a psychologist; Charlotte had read the word on the door and looked it up online after her last appointment. Mom called Dr. Lawrence a feelings doctor, which sounded like something you’d tell a four-year-old, whereas Charlotte was almost twelve. A psychologist’s job was to evaluate and study how people behaved, which Mom said meant they listened to people and helped them solve their problems. Charlotte didn’t need help solving her problems. Or at least not the problem Mom thought she needed to solve, which was seeing Eleanor. That wasn’t a problem.

An Agent's Inbox #4

Dear Wonderful Agent,

When 17-year-old Greer Carson loses her insulin after planning her own kidnapping, her whole scheme unravels.

I see on your Manuscript Wish List you are interested in stories with “big questions at their center,” and I believe A GREEN AND BRITTLE TREE addresses sexual assault with gentle hope for the victims.

My YA suspense/thriller stands at 70,000 words, with alternating POV, and told in less than a 24-hour time frame.

Set in the fictional town of Walburn, Washington, on the outskirts of Seattle, Kenny’s girlfriend Greer is abducted, setting off memories of a suppressed past molestation. Kenny has no idea that Greer masterminded her own abduction to reveal the abuse of her now deceased little brother at the hands of the same pedophile that abused Kenny: her father, Pastor Carson.

Kenny searches for Greer before she goes into diabetic shock. As pieces of his memory attack him, Kenny realizes he must go to the police to save others. As pieces of his childhood, still hidden, batter him he becomes enraged, facing Carson one last time.

At books end, Kenny realizes the abuse he suffered at the hands of Greer’s father was not his fault, and he is not the coward he once believed.

I’ve attended numerous writing conferences, including both New York and California, SCBWI, and Chautauqua Highlights Conference. I include the first ten pages here. This is a simultaneous submission.

Sincerely,

S.S.

A GREEN AND BRITTLE TREE

Chapter One
Saturday Night
12:28am

Park lights flicker the moment I turn the truck engine off and Greer lays her head on my shoulder.
“Dude,” Lucky, my best friend says, sitting on the other side of Greer. He holds a joint out to her, that looks like finely rolled prosciutto. “Gotta take a leak,” he says sounding like he’s going to burst.

Coughing, he opens the door of the Dodge, sending a screech to mingle with the night sounds, and grabs his smokes from his tee shirt pocket, at the same time.

“Kenny, we need to talk,” Greer says.

Oh, no. Talking, to Greer, means discussing our feelings. She’s big on feelings. Probably because of the fact her dad’s a Pastor.

She tugs on the necklace I gave her five months ago.

From a distance, the sound of a motor edges closer. Kids playing chicken on the quiet streets? So, Walburn. Nothing to do. The three of us have been coming to Strathemen’s all summer after closing the restaurant down. More than once we’ve had to leave early because other people came to party. But not tonight. We got here first. Maybe they live in one of those houses.

Across the parking lot, the perfect row of houses keeps guard with their porch lights on. Tidy yards, neat lives.

“Instead of talking,” I say. Then I kiss Greer long and hard. The frog orchestra at Stratheman's Park accompanies us, the automatic sprinklers shooting on with their cha-cha-chugging, for background.

An Agent's Inbox #3

Dear Agent,

Imagine that there’s another you out there somewhere--or three other yous. When 12-year old Cecilia’s parents announce their divorce, Cecilia thinks the worst thing imaginable has happened. Then her favorite science teacher, Ms. Z, is kidnapped by Ms. Y, a mysterious look alike who needs Ms. Z to reprogram the universe she came from. Their counterpart, the eccentric Ms. X, promises Cecilia adventure and the possibility of happiness in another universe if she accompanies her to save Ms. Z--and Cecilia says yes. 

They are transported via a black hole to a simulated universe almost identical to this one--almost. Cecilia is enthralled by the similarities as well as the differences. Everything here is greener and cleaner, and when she meets her family, they seem so much happier. Only things aren’t always as they appear, and as Cecilia and Vera, the simulated universe’s version of herself, try to track down Ms. Z, she learns that sometimes the worst thing imaginable turns out to be not so bad. 

Cecilia travels from universe to universe seeing her life play out in a variety of ways and getting to know facets of herself she’d previously ignored. Vera proves to be a great friend, while Alexandra, from Ms. Y’s universe, is a bastion of misery. Meanwhile, Ms. X seems lost between hero and foil, and Ms. Y seems to be doing everything mathematically possible to make capture impossible.

A Blip in the Universe is a 53,000 word middle grade science-fiction novel. I have included the first 250 words. I have a degree in English with a concentration in Creative Writing, and work as a freelance writer. I love physics, and had as much fun researching for this book as I did writing it. 

Thanks for your consideration,
M. R.


A BLIP IN THE UNIVERSE

On a Thursday so gray that the world looked like the backdrop of a black and white movie, Cecilia Parker still believed that she was the only Cecilia Parker in existence. This wasn’t true, of course; there were many versions of Cecilia Parker in many different universes, but Cecilia had no way of knowing this. 

Not yet, anyway.

As she did every morning on her walk to school, she prepared herself for the day. She would arrive at the school eleven-and-a-half minutes after leaving her house, and she would keep her head down from the moment she stepped on school property until she reached the evergreen-painted front doors. She would ignore the small huddled groups of fellow seventh-graders, she would pretend she didn’t hear their whispers as she passed. Twenty-seven seconds later, she would open her locker, place in it her backpack and lunch, and withdraw from it her Algebra and Literature books, as well as her brown-paper covered reading book. Focusing on the black diamond pattern on the linoleum floors, she would walk to her classroom, find her desk, sit down without catching her feet on any of the metallic chair legs, and open her reading book until homeroom started. She would not become so enthralled with her book that she was unaware that the bell rang and the teacher was taking attendance. She would pinch herself repeatedly to keep this from happening, to avoid that awful moment when the entire class yelled, “Cecilia!” at the same time and then laughed at her expense.

An Agent's Inbox #2

Dear Mystery Agent,

The weather changes fast in Colorado, especially if something (or someone) is controlling it.

On the day twelve-year-old Hazel Jones was born, massive tidal waves and tsunamis devastated Earth. Growing up in the wrecked world, Hazel spends her days jerry-rigging broken farm equipment, scavenging through abandoned houses, weeding never-ending rows of potatoes and wondering what could have destroyed the world. But her family and friends are tired of her endless, unanswerable questions.

When a raging wild fire threatens their Colorado homestead, Hazel’s father takes her to a hidden shed where he uses a weather-controlling machine called the SnowMaker to create an enormous rainstorm and douse the flames. Hazel presses her dad about the origin of this mysterious machine, but he’s reluctant to tell her the truth. Until they find themselves in the middle of a ferocious weather war with the man who originally owned the SnowMaker. 

There isn’t time for more questions, their homestead, crops and orchards are at stake. If Hazel can't keep up a protective defense against the artificial rain, hail, and wind attacks, she will have to make a new plan. It’s time for an avalanche-style offensive to bury her enemy.

SNOWMAKER is an upper middle grade climate fiction, complete at 54,000 words. Readers who enjoy books like SKY JUMPERS by Peggy Eddleman, PARCHED by Melanie Crowder, or MacGyver's duct-tape-chewing-gum-solutions will also be entertained by SNOWMAKER.

I am a freelance writer and a member of SCBWI and Northern Colorado Writers. My work has appeared in Sierra Trading Post, Mamalode, Flash Fiction Online, Advice from Nature and local publications. My short story ‘Double Yellow’ received honorable mention awards from Glimmer Train and Molotov Cocktail and I’m currently writing it into a novel.

Thank you for your time and consideration,

H.C.

SNOWMAKER

Hazel leaned on the overturned car to catch her breath. “What’s it stuck on?”

“Think it’s that side mirror?” Britt pointed and stretched her shoulders.

Jess jogged to the back of the pick-up truck. Parched grass crunched under her boots. She returned with a baseball bat. "Who wants first swing?"

Britt said, “Hazel should take it. Maybe her birthday luck will outweigh the broken-mirror-bad luck she’s about to unleash.”

Hazel spun a tire and let it drag against her hand. Bits of rotten rubber flaked onto her fingers. "Birthday luck is supposed to be good?" She took the bat from Jess and squeezed the handle. "You can't have forgotten I was born on the worst day ever."

Britt wiped sweat off her forehead. “Nope. Can’t forget that.”

Hazel tested her grip, cocked the bat over her head and brought it down hard on the car's passenger side mirror. Broken mirror fragments skittered around her boots, but the mirror still hung from the car by a few coated wires. She opened her pocket knife, sliced through them, and kicked everything away. "Let's flip this car."

“Want my help this time?” Marco yelled from his perch on top of the pick-up. Grinning, he wiped his glasses with the cleanest section of his shirt. “Knew you girls couldn’t do it without me.”

Hazel turned her back on her older brother. "No way, Marco. We got this." She looked at Britt and Jess. "Right?" The sisters nodded and tried different grips. Stubborn friends are the best.

An Agent's Inbox #1

Dear Agent’s Inbox,

Conceived in rape and crippled by lifelong pain, Adria is burdened with an ability to hear people’s thoughts and emotions. Though civilization is full of gifted people, there’s only one man who’s rumored to share her abilities: Edom, their government’s dictator. A man who would hunt her down if he knew he wasn’t the only one. 

When Adria’s protector, Hutch is overcome by addiction and takes his own life, his actions catalyze her family’s suffering and push her closer to being discovered. She’s only a silhouette of who she needs to be, but how can she trust herself when she hears everyone else’s voice but never her own?

FreeBird is a YA character-driven-Sci-fi, 107,500-word novel and is the first book in a planned trilogy.

Thank you for your time and consideration!

W.K.

FREEBIRD

Chapter One: Adria

"Give me your hand!" The man reached out to Adria, his fat callused fingers stretching for her. Adria kept her arms behind her back, while her eyes flicked around the tent. That was, if anyone could have called it a tent. The entire thing had been jumbled together by hanging curtains and privacy panels, making it more of a hole carved in a trash heap than anything else.

The man dropped his hand and smiled at her. His smile widened for a moment, then he dropped that too. He turned to her teacher.

"Hutch, she has to let me, or I can't do anything for you."

"She can strap herself in," Hutch said.

Hutch gestured toward the table, waiting for Adria, but not looking at her directly. She stared at Hutch, searching for a way to communicate. She had been waiting for this moment for as long as she could remember. This was too important to risk on this man, but Hutch didn't look back. It was one of his dark days again.

The only sound was the hollow hum and repetitive ticks of machinery outside. Factory noises, covering the nearby voices beyond the tent, transforming words into murmurs. Adria didn't have to hear them to understand their meanings. She could already feel their fear and secrets. This wasn’t a respectful place for anyone living under the rule of the Fifth Imperium. This was the public market. If she screamed, no one would come.

Now Accepting Entries

I'm now accepting entries for this week's round of "An Agent's Inbox." Here's a quick refresher:

The Rules

1. To enter, your manuscript must meet two conditions: First, it must be COMPLETE, POLISHED, AND READY TO QUERY, and second, it must be in one of the genres The Agent represents (which are listed at the bottom of this post).

2. All entries must include A QUERY and THE FIRST 250 WORDS of your manuscript/proposal. You must paste these items IN THE BODY OF YOUR E-MAIL; otherwise, I'll disqualify it.

3. THE ENTRY WINDOW OPENS AT 11:00 A.M. EDT (OR 8:00 A.M. PDT). Once the entry window opens, I'll accept the first 25 entries. I won't accept any entries sent before the entry window opens or after the first 25 slots fill up.

4. If your entry makes it in, I'll send you a confirmation e-mail with a post number. If your entry doesn't make it in, I'll still send you an e-mail, but it won't have a post number.

5. If your entry makes it in, YOU MUST COMMENT ON AT LEAST 3 OTHER ENTRIES.

The Prizes The Agent will select both the winners and the prizes. The Agent might pick 25 winners, or he or she might only pick one. The Agent might offer full requests, or he or she might only ask to see another page. It all depends on how good the entries are.

Please keep in mind that THIS CONTEST ISN'T FOR THE FAINT OF HEART. I've encouraged The Agent to treat the entries exactly as he or she would a normal batch of queries. Essentially, The Agent will be answering the question, "How much of the entry did you read, and if you didn't read it all, why did you stop?" I think this process will be instructive for all of us, but if you enter, you need to be prepared to hear exactly what The Agent thinks of your query and first page.

So get those queries and first pages polished up, then meet us back here on Monday, March 26, at 11:00 a.m. EDT! At that time, you may send your entries to kvandolzer(at)gmail(dot)com. Looking forward to it!

The Genres

MG fiction (all genres)
YA fiction (all genres)

To enter, please send an e-mail with YOUR QUERY and THE FIRST 250 WORDS of your manuscript to kvandolzer(at)gmail(dot)com. And please, please, please remember to PASTE THESE ITEMS IN THE BODY OF THE E-MAIL.

"An Agent's Inbox" Contest Alert

THIS IS NOT A CALL FOR ENTRIES! I'M JUST GIVING YOU A HEADS-UP. THE CONTEST OPENS NEXT MONDAY, MARCH 26.

“An Agent's Inbox” is exactly what it sounds like--next week, I'm turning the blog into an agent's inbox, a public one. We'll get to see 25 queries along with their first pages, and we'll get to hear what a bona fide agent thinks of each one.

The queries and first pages will be yours, of course. I'll accept your entries this Monday, March 26, and then I'll post them next Wednesday, March 28. The entrants and anyone else who wishes to review them may comment until the following Monday or Tuesday, April 2 or 3, when I'll announce the winners.

Those winners will be chosen by The Agent, who shall remain nameless for now.

The Rules

1. To enter, your manuscript must meet two conditions: First, it must be COMPLETE, POLISHED, AND READY TO QUERY, and second, it must be in one of the genres The Agent represents (which are listed at the bottom of this post).

2. All entries must include A QUERY and THE FIRST 250 WORDS of your manuscript/proposal. You must paste these items IN THE BODY OF YOUR E-MAIL; otherwise, I'll disqualify it.

3. THE ENTRY WINDOW OPENS AT 11:00 A.M. EDT (OR 8:00 A.M. PDT). Once the entry window opens, I'll accept the first 25 entries. I won't accept any entries sent before the entry window opens or after the first 25 slots fill up.

4. If your entry makes it in, I'll send you a confirmation e-mail with a post number. If your entry doesn't make it in, I'll still send you an e-mail, but it won't have a post number.

5. If your entry makes it in, YOU MUST COMMENT ON AT LEAST 3 OTHER ENTRIES.

The Prizes The Agent will select both the winners and the prizes. The Agent might pick 25 winners, or he or she might only pick one. The Agent might offer full requests, or he or she might only ask to see another page. It all depends on how good the entries are.

Please keep in mind that THIS CONTEST ISN'T FOR THE FAINT OF HEART. I've encouraged The Agent to treat the entries exactly as he or she would a normal batch of queries. Essentially, The Agent will be answering the question, "How much of the entry did you read, and if you didn't read it all, why did you stop?" I think this process will be instructive for all of us, but if you enter, you need to be prepared to hear exactly what The Agent thinks of your query and first page.

So get those queries and first pages polished up, then meet us back here on Monday, March 26, at 11:00 a.m. EDT! At that time, you may send your entries to kvandolzer(at)gmail(dot)com. Looking forward to it!

The Genres

MG fiction (all genres)
YA fiction (all genres)

And of course, if you have any questions, feel free to leave them in the comments below!