Help! Bonnie Needs a Real Title

Help! I'm almost finished with Bonnie, and I still haven't come up with a title. I feel like I'm stuck in a bit of a rut, so I thought I'd throw some ideas out and see what you guys think:

BEFORE AND AFTER

BEFORE AND AFTER YOU LEFT

BEFORE AND AFTER YOU WENT AWAY

FROM HERE ON OUT

ME AFTER YOU

WHERE WE GO FROM HERE

I know it's tough to evaluate a title when you have no idea what the story's about, so here's a query-style summary I came up with on the fly as well as the first page:

The Summary When seventeen-year-old Karina Hart gets a text from an unknown sender--at pearl st bridge. its over--she doesn't assume a race ended. She assumes the sender's about to jump. And sure enough, when she gets to the bridge, she finds Matthew Singer, who's standing on the railing, considering the drop. Before their lives went down the toilet, they used to be friends, and Karina sees Matthew as a chance to redeem herself.

Fifteen-year-old Karina Hart knows as soon as she gets home that her sister is dead. Still, she can't quite believe it when she finds Lily in the bathroom, an empty bottle of sleeping pills clutched loosely in her hand. Lily promised her she wouldn't kill herself, and like a fool, Karina believed her. If Karina hadn't been so stupid, Lily would still be alive.

As the front story moves forward and the back story moves backward, Karina realizes why she feels compelled to save Matthew from himself and, more importantly, where she needs to go from here. But knowing and doing are two very different things, and Matthew's life isn't the only one that hangs in the balance. If she can't figure this out, she might lose her mind, literally.*

The First Page I get the text on Monday night, in the locker room at the Y. My phone chirps in my pocket, but I don’t pull it out. My parents would assume I’m either in the pool or on the road, and none of my friends bother to contact me anymore. I towel off my hair, then stuff my things in my bag. It isn’t until I’m trudging out the door, the last one to leave (as always), that I slide my phone out of my pocket. I don’t recognize the number, but the message makes me trip:

at pearl st bridge. its over

A dozen explanations race through my head--a car died, a race ended, someone just had a baby on the side of the road--but the only one that makes sense is also the only explanation I can’t think out loud.

I flick back to the number and remind myself to breathe. The digits gleam in the dim light, but I still can’t place them. The number isn’t in my contacts, and the sender didn’t sign.

Whoever sent the text didn’t mean to send it to me.

At least that’s what I tell myself as I half jog, half stumble across the parking lot to Lily’s car--my car--the car she left behind. For the first time since I inherited it, I have a hard time getting the key into the lock.

“Stupid key,” I mutter even though I know my hands are trembling. As I climb into the car, the only things I can think about are those six little words: at pearl st bridge. its over.

I know it's almost as tough to evaluate a title based on a few hundred words, but if you have any thoughts, I'd love to hear them! (And if you have any other ideas for the title, feel free to throw them out!)

*Please note that I realize how vague and mostly unhelpful that third paragraph is. It's just hard to summarize two diverging plotlines in a single paragraph, and since this isn't an official query, I don't want to give myself a headache:)

Book Recommendation and ARC Giveaway: ALL FOUR STARS by Tara Dairman

If you've been hanging around the blog for any length of time, you've almost certainly heard me gush about Tara's MG debut at one point or another. I first fell in love with Tara's blowtorch-wielding heroine when Tara entered one of the very first rounds of "An Agent's Inbox"--you can still find her entry in the archives--and I've been stalking following Tara's journey ever since. In the two and a half years since that contest, I've had the pleasure of reading the rest of ALL FOUR STARS, and it was every bit as delectable as I'd hoped it would be:)

Gladys Gatsby, the aforementioned blowtorch-wielding heroine, may know how to make a mean crème brûlée, but she can't figure out how to be the soccer-playing, fast-food-eating, one-hundred-percent normal kid her parents want her to be. When she sets her kitchen on fire with the aforementioned blowtorch, her dreams of becoming a food critic go up in smoke, literally. Gladys may be down, but she definitely isn't out, as she's about to land that dream job with The New York Standard--and they don't seem to realize she's only eleven.

As an on-again, off-again foodie (which is to say that I like eating great food a heck of a lot more than I like cooking it), I immediately gravitated toward Gladys's story, but it was Gladys herself who captured my heart. If I were still eleven (and if she were, you know, real), I'm sure we would have been great friends.

If you like cooking, comedy, or pint-sized characters with gallon-sized hearts, you'll love ALL FOUR STARS. It comes out on July 10, so get those pre-orders in, but if you can't wait until then (and if you can't, I don't blame you), I'm giving away my ARC. To enter, you must have a mailing address in the United States and tell me in the comments what you wanted to be when you were eleven (or, if you can't remember that far back, what your favorite dessert is). Contest closes next Wednesday, January 22, at 11:59 p.m. EST (or 8:59 p.m. PST). I'll announce the winner the next day!

From Submission to Offer with Meredith Rich

I'm thrilled to start the new year with my interview with Meredith Rich, digital editor at Bloomsbury Spark. I haven't done many interviews in this series, but when Jenny Kaczorowski, who was on my team for "The Writer's Voice" last year, sold THE ART OF FALLING to Bloomsbury's new digital line, I knew I had to get her editor to answer a few questions.

KV: First off, tell us a bit about THE ART OF FALLING. What’s it about, and what did you love about it?

MR: I think I fell in love with FALLING from the moment I read the #pitmad tweet, and then I just crossed my fingers that it lived up to my expectations. I might as well let that tweet speak for itself:

YA - Bria knows exactly who she is - the militant vegan, purple-haired Queen of the Art Room - until she kisses the HS quarterback #PitchMAS

What I love about this book is that it feels so warm, so wistful, and it really breaks out of the typical YA contemporary tropes when it comes to character building. On the surface Bria might look like a stereotype but we quickly get to know that she is anything but. Also the fact that I actually have my own pair of purple Doc Martens didn't hurt.

KV: Jumping in to say I fell in love with FALLING, too, as soon as I read the query, so I know exactly how that feels:) All right, back to the interview!

How quickly did you read Ms. Kaczorowski’s manuscript? Is that pretty typical of your response times on submissions, or do those vary?

MR: I am pretty sure I flew through THE ART OF FALLING after finding it in #pitmad but then I waited for a bit before bringing it to acquisitions, just to make sure that it really stuck in my mind. Response times can really vary for me based on everything else that is going on here at Spark, and the schedules of our team for acquisitions. In preparations for the launch I was juggling a lot and my response time slowed as I was in full on edit mode. Due to the volume of submissions we receive I can only respond if interested in a project, but I try to keep that to a two month window.

KV: After you finished THE ART OF FALLING, did you pass it on to a colleague for a second read? Do you usually do that?

MR: With Spark I have the honor and sometimes terrifying privilege of really being able to fight for a book based on my own judgement. But thankfully, before I move forward with anything I have a great team that reads an excerpt and gives great feedback and perspective, made up of colleagues from editorial, marketing and sales. Incidentally, these folks in my acquisitions meeting are the same masterminds who work on all of our print books as well, so they are absolutely brilliant to work with.

KV: How did you prepare to bring THE ART OF FALLING to your acquisitions meeting?

MR: For all potential Spark titles, I give the manuscript a full read and usually let it sit for a few days. If I can't stop thinking about it, I begin prepping the acquisition proposal, which looks at a variety of factors. I include my pitch for the book, information about the author, a writing sample from the manuscript, competitive titles and their sales. Given that Spark is an eBook line, we also look at an author's digital presence. You don't have to be a twitter maven, but knowing what twitter is certainly helps!

KV: What happened at that meeting? And what might have happened? What are all the possible outcomes?

MR: I would say that FALLING was a pretty easy sell for the whole group. Jenny is fantastic and the book is so easy to love that I think it was one of those, "great, let's do it, what's next?" moments.

It's not always that simple, and sometimes I really fight for books that I love, and sometimes I realize that my team is absolutely right about the flaws in a project and you have to let them go. Sometimes you push for a book and they wind up going in another direction.

One of the best things that I have learned in these meetings and building a line is that not every book that I love is a fit for Spark. You can swoon for something and know that it won't sell, or that a trend is over, or that it just doesn't have enough of a hook, or that there is something similar that has already been published by Bloomsbury. In the end it has to be the perfect combination of a book I love, and something that we feel is timed well with the market.

KV: How did you present your offer to Ms. Kaczorowski, and what was that conversation like?

MR: I made our offer in writing via e-mail, and the only sad part about doing it via e-mail is you don't get to hear the jumping up and down when people accept! Jenny had a few others who were still looking at her manuscript, so I had to wait for a few weeks until I found out that I would be the lucky editor! (See, we worry about rejection too!)

KV: Of course, making the offer wasn’t the end of the road. What sorts of things did you and Ms. Kaczorowski discuss before everyone signed the contract?

MR: We went over the terms of the contract, I clarified a few items, and that was it! I really wanted to make sure she felt comfortable with the terms, especially since she was submitting to me directly rather than through an agent. We also have a great contracts team that is happy to translate any legal-ese, and I completely understand that it is sometimes necessary!

KV: I know Bloomsbury Spark is open to unagented submissions, so what other kinds of stories are you looking for?

MR: I would say right now I am looking for more genre fiction (high-concept science fiction and fantasy in particular) and contemporary romance as long as it has a great hook and feels fresh. We are looking for more male main characters, and also for stories that would do well with an international audience. Right now I am also on the hunt for fun YA/NA romance novellas for various times of the year (think prom, spring break, snowy winter, etc.).

As for my personal taste, I am always drawn to a really strong voice, I love humor, and I am looking to expand our New Adult offerings. I love stories that take you on an adventure and spark your imagination, but also let you get a good sigh-worthy moment in now and then.

KV: What's the best way to submit to you?

MR: You can find all of our submission guidelines here: bloomsbury.com/Spark

Please do include a query and information about yourself including links to your online presence. If I like your submission it makes it that much easier to find out more about you! I am always accepting submissions from agents as well, so if you are interested in Spark and have an agent, please ask them to submit to me directly. 

Thanks again, Ms. Rich, for this helpful information. I've been one of Jenny's fans for a long time, so it was nice to get this glimpse behind the scenes. And for those of you who plan to submit to Bloomsbury Spark in their near future, definitely check out their Facebook page.

I'm also happy to report that THE ART OF FALLING is now for sale! You can purchase it through any of these platforms:

Barnes & Noble
Amazon Kindle
Kobo
Google Play
iBookstore
Audible

Happy reading, and Happy New Year!

Another Movie Review from Honey Bear

We finally saw Pacific Rim, and Honey Bear's review made me laugh out loud. Now, I know a lot of you enjoyed the movie, so let me preface this by saying we did not. The first hour was entertaining, but the remaining HOUR AND A HALF could have used a really solid edit. Like, really solid. So this review totally falls under the category of irreverent and less-than-complimentary, like his review for Eclipse. Enjoy?

Pacific Rim (2013) *1/2 (Directed by Guillermo del Toro)

The film begins with some growly-voiced expository narration that spoon-feeds you all the ridiculous world-building you need to know: “The alien monsters came out of the ocean and destroyed our cities. We built giant robots. We didn’t invest in really big cannons with loads of firepower to put along the coastlines--we invented and then built astronomically expensive robots with tons of moving parts, and barely any firepower (some of them actually use giant swords). And we didn’t make them remote controlled--there has to be people in them. And not just one person, 'cuz they would get a bloody nose. So TWO people have to use them. But since they’re both controlling the robot simultaneously, they have to link to each other psychically and share all their deepest fears and most horrible memories while fighting giant monsters in their giant robots. And we won every fight. Until we didn’t. And now everything has changed…”

We then see the main character, who I will call White Guy #1 (all the white guys in this movie look the same, but after a while you start to tell them apart), and his brother, White Guy #2, fighting a monster, who manages to rip White Guy #2 right out of the robot’s head. White Guy #1 still manages to beat the monster. Fast forward five years and White Guy #1 is approached by his old giant-robot boss, who I will refer to as Black Guy:

White Guy #1: “I can’t go back to being a giant robot pilot. I can’t do that again. Not ever. Not again. Never. I’ll never, never, NEVER do that again.”

Black Guy: “We all die someday. Come die in a big robot.”

White Guy #1: “Okay!”

He then goes to a base in Hong Kong, which houses the last four giant robots left. Luckily, rather than attacking the now-defenseless cities of the world, all the giant monsters that come through the portal make a beeline for Hong Kong. But before any of that happens you get an hour of character “development.” White Guy #1 meets White Guys #3 and #4. They add nothing to the plot but do manage some confusion, as they look just like White Guys #1 and #2. 

White Guy #1 also meets Japanese Girl, who he fights with sticks, enabling him to discern that he is psychically compatible with her. (I assume these stick fights will replace online dating in the future.) Then Black Guy says, “She’s not ready to be a pilot. I’ll never let you pilot a giant robot with her. That’s impossible. It will never, ever, EVER happen.” Then the next morning he’s like, “Suit up, Japanese Girl!” and she’s his new copilot. 

Then some other short-lived story obstacles keep them from fighting more monsters for another twenty minutes. Along the way, nobody obeys a single thing that Black Guy tells them to do. Then you get the second monster fight. Then there is another half hour of nothing (there might have been something, but I probably slept through it), then they have their big last fight. Somewhere along the line the most annoying scientists in the history of cinema figure out some stuff and the guy who played Hellboy pops up acting like a sixth-grade bully. And that’s it. Three big fights in two and half hours. 

Many people who saw this film in theaters said that while the movie was kind of dumb, and the plot simple, and the dialogue bad, they still liked it because…“It has giant robots fighting giant monsters! What’s not to like?!” Well, that argument might have worked on me when I was twelve years old, but these days I guess I expect a little more out of my movies. It’s just Power Rangers with a budget. Power Rangers mixed with Independence Day. With the interpersonal skills of Top Gun thrown in for good measure.

The Other Side of the Freeway

We drive the stretch of I-15 between Mesquite and Kaysville several times a year, so I'm pretty sure I have the whole thing memorized. I can tell you what it looks like at any given mile marker as well as how far you are from Cedar City, Fillmore, or Nephi. Honey Bear could probably drive it without his glasses in a snowstorm.

But what I've never really thought about is how different everything looks from the other side of the freeway. As we were coming down a hill on one of our more recent drives, I looked around and said, "Oh, my heck, this is THAT hill, the last one you drive over before you get to Beaver!" For whatever reason, that spot had made more of an impression on the southbound trip, but that didn't change the fact that it was THE SAME SPOT.

I've thought a lot about it since that day, and while I haven't come to any earth-shattering conclusions, I thought I'd share it with you. Sometimes, we don't even have to move to gain a fresh perspective; we just have to turn around.

You Only Get One Debut

This morning, I tweeted, "You only get one debut. Use it wisely." It's short, it's sweet, it's great for Twitter, but when Alina Borger pushed me for a more detailed explanation (oh, wait, I have to explain?), I thought it would be easier to address her question on the blog.

A thread on Absolute Write was what got me ruminating on this topic. A writer published a book with a small--very small--press, but even though she only sold a handful of copies, she didn't regret it. The manuscript was never going to attract the attention of a major publisher, so she didn't see the harm in publishing with a small press now and pursuing her dream of major trade publication later.

But you only get one debut. There have been a few exceptions--Ally Condie comes to mind (though you probably didn't know MATCHED wasn't her first book)--but for the most part, you only get one chance to make a first impression. Stated another way, you can only be a variable when you're actually a variable. If you don't have a sales record, publishers have to rely on a set of complicated formulas--and possibly their tea leaves--to determine how much your book is worth. If you don't have a sales record, a publishing team can go completely crazy--editors drop everything and read your book in twenty minutes, publicists start booking your spot on the Today show--and then the dollars fly. You are the Next Big Thing. Your book is going to outsell Harry Potter and Twilight COMBINED.

But once you have a sales record, it will follow you around for the rest of your career. Publishers no longer have to guess how much your books are worth; your sales figures will tell them.

Now, is it possible for your next book to outperform your previous ones? Of course. (Just ask Suzanne Collins.) But is it probable? Maybe not. So if you want to land a book deal with a major publisher in the future, it might not be in your best interest to accept one with a smaller publisher now.

Interactive Interview with an Agent: Clelia Gore

Today's INTERACTIVE installment of "Interview with an Agent" features Clelia Gore of Martin Literary Management. Details on the interactive part are at the bottom, so enjoy Ms. Gore's answers to the usual questions, then meet us down there!

KV: How long have you been agenting, and how did you get into it?

CG: I am a new agent with experience in both the publishing and legal worlds. I used to work as an attorney in New York City and then switched over to publishing by earning my master's degree in Publishing and Writing from Emerson College and working at Houghton Mifflin Harcourt and Oxford University Press. Being an agent seemed like a natural choice for me, considering my legal skills and literary interests. It also happens to be a lot more fun than being a lawyer:)

KV: How would you summarize your personal agenting philosophy? What do you expect from an agent-author relationship? 

CG: My goal as an agent is always to bring quality books to children and young adults. I'd like to do so by operating with kindness, respect, and professionalism. I like clients to be communicative, responsive, open to suggestions, patient and optimistic. 

KV: What client work do you have coming out soon? What drew you to those writers and/or projects?

CG: As a new agent, I have just acquired my first clients and hopefully will have upcoming works to announce in the very near future. Martin Literary Management previously specialized only in adult non-fiction books, but has represented some young adult non-fiction books, including The Pregnancy Project (Simon and Schuster, 2012), which was also made into a Lifetime movie. 

KV: What genres do you represent? What genres do you definitely NOT represent?

CG: Everything under the children's book umbrella from baby board books to young adult novels. I am interested in both children's fiction and non-fiction. I won't be taking any adult book writers as clients and I am not usually interested in romance novels. Although I like books with fantastical elements, I would say that I usually am drawn more to "fantasy-lite" than hardcore fantasy or sci-fi. 

KV: What query pet peeves and/or pitfalls should writers avoid when querying you?

CG: The query letter really is an important piece of writing--you should be putting your best foot forward. Make sure your query is cohesive and coherent. To me, a query letter that is not well written is a pretty good signal that the sample of work below is not going to work for me. I do like to hear a little about the author, but I am most interested in the summarizing pitch. It's also important to write who your audience is--young adult, middle grade, etc.

KV: What are you looking for in a manuscript right now? What are you tired of seeing at the moment?

CG: I am open to just about anything, but my favorite genre is middle grade--it's the genre that I first fell in love with as a kid, and that love never left me! I am particularly interested in illustrated middle grade where there is interplay between the text and the illustrations. I also love anything that involves history, across all genres. I love picture book biographies, particularly about less known but very interesting people in history. I would love to see books featuring ethnically diverse characters where their ethnicity is not the focus of the plot. I also like picture books that are a little quirky that have appeal to both kids and adults. Anything with series potential is interesting to me--as a kid (and as an adult too!), I liked to develop a long term relationship with my favorite characters and see them through many adventures. For young adult, I'm looking for voice-driven books and memorable characters. The plot is secondary for me! 

I think there are a number of trends that have played out and currently pose challenges to sell--I would say editors have probably seen many YA books where the protagonist discovers he or she has some sort of magic or supernatural power, and would be less inclined to want to publish those. Also, I am generally wary of rhyming picture books, as I think the modern picture book has evolved from rhyming.  

KV: What’s the best way to query you?

CG: Please send queries to me via email at clelia@martinliterarymanagement.com. You can find my submission instructions regarding particular kinds of books here: martinliterarymanagement.com/submissions.htm

Thank you, Ms. Gore, for these responses. It sounds like you and I have very similar tastes:)

And now for the main event! If you have a question for Ms. Gore, feel free to leave it in the comments below. She'll pop in several times throughout the day and leave her responses in the comments as well. You have until 7:00 p.m. EST (or 4:00 p.m. PST), so don't dilly-dally!

In Defense of the Romantically Clueless MC

Come back tomorrow afternoon for an INTERACTIVE interview with Clelia Gore of Martin Literary Management. She'll be taking questions from 11:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m. EST!

One of the most consistent pieces of feedback I've gotten on Bonnie is that Karina's totally clueless when it comes to Matthew. It's obvious to readers that he's interested in her, but Karina doesn't pick up on any of his cues. It isn't until her friend finally comes out and says it that Karina realizes Matthew has a thing for her, and according to my critique partners, she should figure this out sooner. Since they did.

But novels, even realistic ones, aren't necessarily realistic. We carefully construct our stories for maximum impact, then sprinkle in a lot of clues and clever foreshadowing. We want our stories to make sense, so we press them into tidy molds and tie up our loose ends.

But real life is rarely so neat.

In high school, I had a friend named Ian. He asked me to Homecoming our junior year (though I ended up going with Honey Bear, but that's another blog post), and we ate lunch together every day our senior year. After we graduated, he asked me out a few times, including once right around Christmas. We were home from school--he was up at Utah State while I was down at BYU--and one afternoon, he called and asked if I wanted to check out this comedy troupe. I said, "Sounds fun! Who else will be there?" and he said, "Me," and I said, "Oh." After one of those long, awkward pauses, I rushed to assure him that I'd love to go, that it would be great to see him, that I was looking forward to it. And I was. The show was funny, and it was nice to catch up afterward. (Even though it was December, we chatted over Frosties for several hours in his car.)

I think that night was the first time it occurred to me that Ian could possibly like me. It was also the last time we ever talked. Honey Bear came home from his mission six months later, and we discovered we still liked each other. Then Ian left on his mission a few months after that, and we didn't keep in touch.

I'm still not sure why I didn't pick up on Ian's cues* sooner. He asked me out multiple times--in fact, he's the only boy other than Honey Bear who asked me out even once, which should have tipped me off--and he went out of his way to show up wherever I happened to be. In hindsight, it seems so obvious, but I didn't see it for the longest time.

So the next time you're tempted to smack a romantically clueless MC, give him or her a break. This whole love thing is tougher than it looks.

*Ian, if you ever stumble across this post, I do apologize for my inanity. And if I completely misrepresented your point-of-view, feel free to set the record straight:)