When It Feels Like the Race Is Passing You By

I've been writing this post in my head for longer than I care to admit, but a part of me hasn't wanted to come out and just say it. I didn't want to sound like a whiner, and I certainly didn't want to come across as ungrateful. Because I've been extremely blessed. Most writers are still waiting to see one of their books on the shelf, let alone two. But I've been inspired by the insightful, honest posts that my friends have been sharing. When your motivation starts feeling less like circumspection and more like cowardice, you know you have to take the leap.

You probably haven't noticed that it's been almost three years since I announced my last book deal. You probably haven't even wondered what I've been working on because you've just assumed that I've been being a Published Author. But I'm never too busy to write. Writing is just what we do. Even when we don't have time. Even when we want to sleep. Even when we're so hopped up on cold medicine that we can barely string three coherent words together. I'm sure you know what you mean.

It's just that none of the things I've written in the last three years have sold*.

How I feel about this fact changes from day to day (and sometimes from hour to hour). It's unfortunate that the qualities that make us good writers--like empathy and internalization--are the very qualities that make the publishing industry especially difficult to maneuver. Here are several ways I cope:

1. Step away from the computer. There is nothing wrong with taking a few days, weeks, or even months to reorient myself. I usually remember why I love telling stories and crafting pitch-perfect sentences when I'm not actively doing it.

2. Take breaks from social media. I love keeping up with writing friends, but sometimes I do have to turn off Twitter. The constant deluge of good news can get overwhelming, and while I don't think it's okay to succumb to bitterness and jealousy, I do think it's okay to know your limits and stop torturing yourself.

3. Do something nice for someone else. There is absolutely no substitute for genuine service. When I'm focused on another person's needs, I spend a lot less time and brainpower worrying about myself.

4. Pick up a new hobby or develop an old one. When I got into genealogy almost six years ago, I never imagined that it could or would become such an invaluable lifeline. Anytime I need a break from this mentally and emotionally draining business, researching my dead people always fills my well back up.

5. Read, read, read. Most writers were readers first, and that's certainly true in my case. I love digging into a new find or rereading an old favorite. That said, I'll be the first to admit that I sometimes avoid certain books. Some authors are so out of my league that I can bask in their amazingness without feeling threatened, but that brilliant debut that's getting all kinds of awesome press and winning all kinds of awards? Yeah, I'm not going to appreciate that book when I'm down in the dumps, so I hold off on reading it until I've dug myself out.

6. Develop meaningful relationships with other writers. Only other writers can really understand what it's like to be a writer. Also, I've found it's easier to be genuinely happy for a writer I've taken the time to get to know.

What do YOU do to keep your head above water?

*But that's not accurate, either. I probably should have said, "It's just that none of the things I've written in the last three years have sold YET." Against all odds, I'm still plugging away. If insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results, then fit me for a straitjacket and book my padded cell.