Agent-Author Chat: Monika Verma and Alexa Donne

I can't tell you how excited I am to welcome agent Monika Verma of Levine Greenberg Literary Agency and author Alexa Donne back to the blog. I say back because Ms. Verma and Ms. Donne connected right here on Team Krista during "The Writer's Voice" last May, which means that this installment of "Agent-Author Chat" represents a direct success story for our team. Woohoo!

Check out Ms. Donne's fabulous entry (which was previously titled FUTURESHOCK), then hop back over here to learn how everything came together.

KV: Ms. Donne, how did you first come up with the idea for FUTURE TENSE?

AD: No joke--I had the idea in the shower. This was in the Spring of 2012 and I was taking a second crack at a YA dystopian I had abandoned after NaNo 2011. I was supposed to be brainstorming for the dystopian, and a stray thought flitted through my head—people always ask “if you could meet any historical figure, living or dead, who would it be?” Well, what if you WERE the historical figure? And, and… you’re famous because you become President! First female President of the United States! And then I thought the deliciously awful twisty thing (which I won’t reveal), and FUTURE TENSE was born. It may be the most productive shower I will ever have in my life.

Then, when it came to developing the idea (outside of the shower), I was a huge fan of the show Jack and Bobby on the WB, which is how I landed on the Presidential future and YA setting. I love the idea of following a teen character who is destined to become not only famous, but hold the highest political office in the land. I’m also a Doctor Who fan… and who doesn’t want a young, cute, dorky Doctor-like character showing up and taking you on adventures?

KV: Tell us a little bit about your query-writing process. Did you work on it here and there as you were writing the manuscript, or before, or after? How many times did you revise it? And how did you decide what order to put things in?

AD: I didn’t write my query until I was done with the “draft zero” of the book. I did, however, write my “hook” (which became the first paragraph of the query) during the writing process, mostly because I was really excited about querying/entering contests and I am incorrigible.

I went through two iterations of my query--the first one I used for Pitch Madness, but didn’t send it to any agents via traditional querying. I waited until I did some more revising, and then I entered The Writer’s Voice. This is where I got my second and final version of my query, via mentorship with you (Krista). The advice I received from several sources, including a friend that works for an agency, was to throw all my best hooks into my query. So query #1 gave away a major spoiler, for a reveal that doesn’t happen until you are about 80% into the book. But the query felt very kitchen sink, I think, and Krista worked with me to rein my query in and focus on the personal and romantic conflict. So query number two teased the suspense, but did not give away the ending. I was so happy with this query (which better reflected the tone of my book), that I used it for all of my traditional querying--I sent it to approximately 19 agents. The only thing that changed mid-way through was I tweaked my YA book comps.

Format-wise, I shied away from a personalized query that drops the book title, genre and word count up front, and instead dove right into the characters/conflict/stakes. I prefer this format for a number of reasons, but partly because I know when I'm looking at a query, my eye jumps to two things first: first paragraph (hook) and then down to second to last paragraph, where I hope to see all the book details. I sound like a sycophant when I personalize my queries, so unless an agent specifically said they like to know why you’re querying them, I didn’t personalize. I also am a big believer in dropping your book hook immediately, in paragraph one. Some agents only read your first paragraph before deciding to read on. So make it good.

KV: Butting in to say I appreciate the plug. If I participate in “The Writer’s Voice” next year, I’m definitely pointing prospective teammates to this post:)

So how did Ms. Verma come to request your manuscript?

AD: Monika voted for me during The Writer’s Voice. She was one of two agents that voted, so she got a partial. A few days later, she upgraded her request to a full.

KV: Ms. Verma, when you saw Ms. Donne's entry in “The Writer’s Voice,” what caught your attention?

MV: I’m a big fan of contemporary YA, time-travel stories and all things British, so this entry was tailor-made for me. I was also struck by how strong the voice was, and I could tell right away that the author had a sense of humor. These are all things I’m on the lookout for when I read submissions.

KV: You and Ms. Donne ended up working through several rounds of pre-offer revisions. How do you decide whether to request revisions or offer representation?

MV: I always want to be confident in my ability to sell a book before I offer representation to the author, and much of the time that means working through some revisions before making things official.  In the same vein, I like to make sure that the author and I are on the same page regarding revisions before she or he signs on, just to avoid any snafus down the road. Some authors have a particular vision for their work, and if it turns out that my vision differs from theirs, it’s best to find that out early.

KV: Obviously, these revisions met--or exceeded--your expectations. What did you love about FUTURE TENSE?

MV: I love that the protagonist is strong, smart and unapologetic about her decisions. I also very much appreciate that while there is a romance storyline, it isn’t front and center; the character’s decisions about her future and her friendships take precedence. I laughed out loud at certain lines when I first read the manuscript, and I still laugh when I read them now, several drafts later. Finally, I love that the story embraces high school nerd culture and celebrates it.

KV: Ms. Donne, now that you’ve reached the querying finish line, what do you wish you had known when you were back at the start gate?

AD: Relative to my query, I have few regrets! I made some missteps with my first query, but I didn’t actually send it to anyone (outside one contest). Even though I wanted to query, I sat on it--something was niggling at me that it wasn’t The One. I’m glad I waited and got help in The Writer’s Voice. It was meant to be! Once I was ready, I queried smart--in small batches and using Query Tracker to keep track of things--and got a good number of requests.

As far as my manuscript is concerned, probably the only thing I would change is I would have made the harsh edits I ended up making to my first eight chapters earlier than I did. A few of my passes from agents remarked that it was slow to start, and later I fixed that. However, que sera--things happen the way they happen, and I’m happy with it!

KV: Ms. Verma, what querying tips do you have?

MV: The best advice I can give authors is to be clear and concise. As an agent sifting through queries all day, I want a query to provide all the basics about the book--synopsis, genre, similar titles, author bio--in an easy-to-digest way, but to also pique my interest and make me want to read more. I would also recommend checking out agent bios and wishlists, and adjusting your submission list accordingly. I personally like to hear about what inspires authors to write about whatever they choose to write about, whether it’s a love for the genre, personal experience etc.

KV: Any last words of advice or encouragement you’d like to share with us?

MV: There are tons of great tips floating around on how to ace your query or pitch an agent, but with YA it all comes down to the voice. If I read a submission and can immediately relate to the protagonist (as I did in this case,) I’m likely to keep reading regardless of any other factors. Focus on the voice and the rest will follow!

AD: Be brand-minded, marketing savvy, and gather as much information as you can about the industry before, during and after you write. Write what you love and are inspired to write, but be smart: mindful of trends, how to package your book as well as you can (title, query, comps, etc.), your public persona. Agents will appreciate and respond to someone that shows knowledge of the market, which means read as many YA (etc.) books as you can, use great comps in your query, and understand how your novel will fit into the current marketplace. Make yourself the ideal client--a great writer, who can write hooks that can sell, who is flexible but passionate (so you’ll work with your agent/editor to make changes… but you know when to stick to your guns), and is constantly working to improve your craft. This means dealing well with criticism (get some honest, borderline brutal critique partners!), and editing smart and well.

Oh, and rejection isn’t personal--really!--and is par for the course in any creative industry. If you think of the whole querying/agenting/revision/submission process as an adventure, the knocks are easier to take. It truly only takes one yes.

Thank you, Ms. Verma and Ms. Donne, for these insightful answers. I got to see a lot of this unfold behind the scenes, and I'm SO thrilled the story had a happy ending.

Have a great weekend!

Humanitarian Aid for the Philippines

My grandfather was born in Manila in 1922. He joined the United States Merchant Marines in the late 1930s, then transferred to the United States Army just after the start of World War II. After the war, he moved to the States, where he met and married my grandmother, the blond-haired, blue-eyed daughter of a pair of Danish immigrants. (In a roundabout way, their story inspired Steve, now known as THE REGENERATED MAN, as my grandparents faced mountains of prejudice in the early days of their marriage.) 

In other words, I feel connected to the Philippines and the people who live there. I always want to help people whose lives are touched by natural--and not-so-natural--disasters, but this is different. These people are MY people. Even though most of my grandfather's family immigrated to North America several decades ago, I probably have third and fourth and fifth cousins still living in the Philippines. Which is why I plan to donate to the relief effort straightaway.

I know how you donate to a relief effort is a very personal decision, but if you've been looking for a reputable charity, you might consider LDS Charities. They bring clean water to small towns and villages in developing countries, provide neonatal resuscitation training to doctors and nurses in these same nations, and supply food and vaccinations to those in need. They also provide disaster relief through their Helping Hands initiative--you may have seen their bright yellow shirts around--as well as the Humanitarian Aid Fund, which you can donate to directly by clicking on that link. Because they cover their overhead with other funds, 100% of your donation will reach the survivors in the Philippines.

I don't always like the Internet, but at times like these, I'm glad it gives us the capability to reach across the world and help those in need. Feel free to link to your favorite disaster relief organizations in the comments!

Mr. Cusick's Winners!

If you were following along with the contest last week, you probably already know that Mr. Cusick asked for two 50-page partials from the first half of the entries:

#2 KYLE CONSTANINI FINDS A WAY
#9 THE MALL IN GULLYBROOK

He'd also like to see the fulls of two of the second-half entries:

#14 BELINDA LIVES IN LIMBO
#20 GOLDILOCKS AND THE THREE MISSING BEARS

Congratulations, winners! If you haven't already sent your requests, please e-mail me at kvandolzer(at)gmail(dot)com for submission instructions. I look forward to hearing from you!

Last but not least, a huge thank-you to Mr. Cusick for sharing his expertise with us, and a huge thank-you to all of you for entering, critiquing, and reading along. I've already scheduled another round of "An Agent's Inbox" for the end of January, and I might schedule another for sometime in December (if I can get on top of my own revising and critiquing), so stay tuned!

Go, Go, Go!

And we're off! Check out the entries, then leave some feedback in the comments if you feel so inclined. (ENTRANTS, PLEASE REMEMBER TO CRITIQUE AT LEAST THREE OTHER ENTRIES!) And I'm sure this goes without saying, but please keep your comments constructive (i.e., not rude or mean-spirited). If you want to think like The Agent, you might consider the question, "How much of the entry did you read, and if you didn't read it all, why did you stop?"

I'll announce Mr. Cusick's winners and prizes at the beginning of next week, but until then, have at it!

(Also, just so you're aware, I always take out profanity when I'm formatting the entries. In other words, any asterisks you see in the entries are mine, so you don't need to point them out to the entrants. I just prefer to keep things as PG-rated as possible on the blog:) )

An Agent's Inbox #20

Dear Mr. Cusick:

I’m submitting this story because from what I read you like mystery, humour and fairy tales. My story has all three.

GOLDILOCKS AND THE THREE MISSING BEARS is a 425-word picture book mystery for ages four-and-up. This story takes place after Goldilocks initial encounter with the Bear family. Goldilocks arrives for breakfast and finds the house empty. Cast into the role of detective, she must discover what folded pyjamas, a broken beehive and a recipe for porridge have in common if she has any hopes of rescuing her missing bear friends.

I hold a diploma in Professional Writing from Grant MacEwan University. I’m a member of the Society of Children’s Book Writers & Illustrators and The Writers’ Guild of Alberta.

Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

R.J.T.


GOLDILOCKS AND THE THREE MISSING BEARS

Goldilocks stumbled up a familiar scene, but this time she had an invitation to breakfast.

“Baby Bear. Mama Bear. Papa Bear,” she called.

No one answered.

Strange, thought Goldilocks.  She slipped inside to investigate.

In the kitchen a pot of porridge bubbled. Mama’s bowl was in pieces.

In the living room the TV blared. Papa’s chair lay on its side.

Upstairs their rooms were clean, too clean. Even Baby Bear’s pyjamas were folded neatly on his bed.

Doubly strange. Goldilocks knew something had happened to her bear friends. 

An Agent's Inbox #19

Dear Mr. Cusick:

Roger McGillicutty, 12, wakes up one Saturday morning and finds out he’s unexpectedly transformed into a five-foot praying mantis!

His parents seem to be coping with it fairly well, and his dog Lou is okay with it, but how will the rest of the town of Highland Falls handle it?  Roger has school on Monday, the carnival’s coming to town next week, and his Little League team is playing their biggest rival Centerville next Saturday.  Being a giant bug will seriously cramp his style!

Or maybe not.  Something changes when Roger uses his new insect abilities to perform a spectacular rescue of his classmates from a broken Ferris wheel.

Roger McGillicutty: six-legged freak, or superhero?

Roger’s story takes off from the famous beginning line of Kafka’s The Metamorphosis, and then flies in an entirely different direction.  Behind the adventure and the humor is a story about accepting who you are--your talents and limitations--and learning how to make the most of it.

ROGER MANTIS is a middle-grade fantasy, complete at 35,500 words.  Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,
T.B.


ROGER MANTIS

As young Roger McGillicutty awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, he found himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic insect.

Aw, geeze! he thought.

There was no mistake about it. The drapes in Roger’s bedroom were closed, but the Saturday morning sun was shining brightly outside and the drapes glowed, illuminating the whole room.

Roger stared at his hands, which had been replaced by vicious yellow hook-like claws at the end of big, spiky green arms. Clumsily, he kicked off the covers using a lot more legs than he used to have, and looked down at himself.

It was worse than he thought. He was lying on his back, and below his shoulders his middle was now a hard, skinny green cylinder leading down to where four long, spindly jointed legs wiggled aimlessly at the ceiling. Past the legs was a long, greenish-yellow wormy-looking thing that was apparently his butt.

Roger’s freaked-out brain suddenly remembered that this was called an “abdomen” on an insect, and that his middle part was called a “thorax.” Stuff that was still stuck in his head from that insect chapter last month in his hated seventh-grade biology class. Well, at least “abdomen” was a better word than “butt.” As Roger looked at his...abdomen, it squirmed and bent as though that end of him was waking up separately.

“Eww! Gross!” he said. His own voice startled him. It was a little buzzy, like his art teacher Mrs. Clancy, who talked through her nose.

An Agent's Inbox #18

Dear Mr. Cusick,

First, congratulations on your publishing success!  I love that your writing inspirations included both classical and modern influences.  My inspirations were similar as I folded history into a contemporary story.  ENCIRCLED is a 97,000-word YA Contemporary Fantasy, where a dash of magic and a love deeper than darkness put a new twist on the historical mystery of the disappearance of two English princes.

Sixteen-year-old Elisabeth Bell Pierce is hiding her broken heart and disfigured face at Bell Hall, the crumbling English castle she inherited when her mom died.  While her father, a fanatical historian, excavates the grounds to unravel the ancient mystery of the Lost Princes, Elisabeth searches the gloomy corridors for relief from her heart's perpetual darkness.  But when she discovers a secret passageway that leads deep beneath the castle, Elisabeth learns she isn't the only person hiding at Bell Hall, and that darkness itself may be her best chance at relief from her scarred past.

Bewitched to live in endless night until his stolen kingdom is restored, Richard of York, Lost Prince of England, is still faithfully awaiting a rescue that's never come--until now.  In their shadowy haven, Elisabeth's scars and Richard's tragic past fade, and together, they remember what it is to be alive.  But as her father digs closer to unearthing England's greatest secret, Elisabeth must find a way to hide Richard forever, before her father reveals him to the world--because not everything that's lost wants to be found.  

I graduated summa cum laude from the University of Utah with degrees in English Literature and Theatre.  My love affair with British history began in the seventh grade, when I stole my social studies textbook for some light summer reading, and got hooked on kings, castles, and betrayal. 

I have included my first page below, and would be happy to send more upon request.  Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,

S.S.

ENCIRCLED

The smell of hot metal and the tang of blood were overwhelming.  My labored breath was harsh in the crushed space.  In.  Out.  In.  Out.  I focused on the tempo against the too-still dark.  A small sound joined in.  Plink.  Plink.  Plink.  In-Plink-Out-Plink.  I tried to slow my racing pulse to its time.  In-Plink-Out-Plink.  But each throbbing beat pounded in my head, where a torturous pressure was mounting.  I pushed the wet tangle of hair from my face and twisted, but couldn't right myself: I was upside-down.  I craned my head to the right, a slow motion trip to hell.  My breath caught in my throat and its comforting rhythm died.  I licked my lips and tried to find my voice, but found my hand first, and pushed at the quiet form next to me, my seat belt catching and straining to keep me still.

"Momma," I croaked out in the barest whisper, the night shattering into pieces around me.  She didn't answer.  I found her hand and held it in mine.  I thought it twitched a bit.  Just a bit, but I felt it.  A thin beam of moonlight broke through the window and flitted over her haunted face.  Her fingers whispered over mine, and then her eyes opened--the grey-brown irises wide against pain and darkness.  Her lips moved soundlessly and a dull roar started in my head, the scream of blood and fear.  And then her hand went still.  A tear rolled to the tip of my nose and clung on for dear life, frozen.  I stared into my mother's empty eyes and wished to be somewhere, anywhere but here. 

And then I was gone.

An Agent's Inbox #17

Dear Mr. Cusick,

 

I recently read your interview with KidLit network where you mentioned you'd love to see something "scary in a fresh environment", and your example was very close to my MG urban fantasy (kid trapped in a cave). Hopefully, you'll find DARCY DARKLING AND THE FORGOTTEN CITY to be what you're looking for.

 

Twelve-year-old Darcy is bored of her city, with its high walls, fake grass and a whole lot of sameness. That is, until she finds a secret tunnel leading to an abandoned underground city. Every night she sneaks away to explore more of the winding tunnels and empty streets of The Forgotten City.

Her very own secret.

The underground seems empty at first, but the creatures who live in the dark don't appreciate a little girl poking her nose in their business. They don't trust the "sun-dwellers," a.k.a. humans. But Darcy refuses to stay away. She belongs to the dark, whether they like it or not.

When the creatures push her too far, Darcy gets lost in the labyrinth of tunnels and doesn't make it home by sun up. Now the humans know she's missing and they're coming after her--into the underground.

Because of Darcy, the forgotten race of goblins will come face to face with humans for the first time in two hundred years. An old feud turns into a fight over a girl who belongs nowhere and everywhere at once. Half human, half goblin.

DARCY DARKLING AND THE FORGOTTEN CITY is complete at 45,000 words. Thanks so much for your time.

 

Sincerely

S.T.

DARCY DARKLING AND THE FORGOTTEN CITY

The best place in the whole world is a mile below my feet.

 

Damp sludge drips from the stone walls of the underground tunnels, surrounded by darkness so thick it's like a living, breathing thing. There are new adventures everywhere. Every turn is a new secret waiting to be uncovered. I've found my share but I plan on finding a whole lot more.

 

Too bad I'm not supposed to go there, and if I was ever caught I'd be a lot worse than grounded. So right now I'm stuck above ground, in my boring apartment, doing my boring homework just waiting until I can sneak back to the tunnels.

 

It's my secret. No one can keep me away, not even Mom.

 

“Darcy!” Mom calls.

 

“What?  I’m doing my homework, just like you said.”

 

She walks into my room carrying a pair of muddy tennis shoes. “Explain to me how these got so dirty.”

 

Whoops. She wasn't supposed to find those.

 

I shrug, playing it off. “I was playing bee with Joe.”

 

“Bee?”            

 

I hold up a Frisbee. Lucky for me it’s got some dirt on it too. Otherwise she might suspect I’m not telling the truth.

 

“Leave it to you to find the only dirt in the whole city."

 

Here we go.

 

"Why do you think they did away with those parks I played in as a kid? They were dangerous. Stick to the astro-turf, okay?"

She says it so serious that I can't help but roll my eyes.