The Best Christmas Present Ever

Stealth isn’t usually one of Honey Bear’s strong suits, especially when it comes to presents. I always manage to figure out what he’s giving me, even though I don’t make any particular effort to do so. I guess I just know how his brain works. After all, we’ve known each other for nearly half of my life.

So imagine my surprise when he put the last present under the tree this year and I had no idea what it was.

He even warned me this was coming. Last December, he told me that there was something he wanted to give me but that he wouldn’t be able to give it to me that year because it was going to take some time. I thought that sounded interesting, then promptly forgot about it. But Honey Bear didn’t forget. In fact, he started working on this gift on January first.

Fast-forward to this Christmas morning. As soon as I picked up the mystery present, a small, book-like package, I knew exactly what it was. I’d seen him writing in it pretty much every day for the last couple of months. (He’d kept it hidden from me before that.) I’d assumed it was a journal, and it was. I just hadn’t realized it was all about me.

This journal has an entry for almost every day, and in every entry, Honey Bear expresses his love and appreciation for something specific I did that day. On one day, he wrote about how much he enjoyed seeing a movie with me in the theater. On another, he told me thank you for taking care of the kids all day while he did homework and went to school. And on another, he expressed how beautiful I’d looked that day.

It is, without a doubt, the best, most thoughtful present I’ve ever received. The small journal itself--and the acid-free pen he bought to write in it--aren’t worth more than a few dollars, but this will be a gift I treasure for the rest of my life.

December's Winners!

Here it is, the moment you’ve all been waiting for! Without further ado, I give you Mr. Sherman’s picks!

Runners up:

#2 BODY AND SOUL
#9 FRACTION OF STONE
#15 DRIVERS

These entries win a request for the first 3 chapters and a synopsis!

Winner: #6 KILLING KESSLER

KILLING KESSLER wins a full request!

Congratulations to the four of you! Please e-mail me at kvandolzer(at)gmail(dot)com for instructions on how to submit your materials to Mr. Sherman. Here’s hoping all four of them turn into offers!

UPDATE: In addition, if Mr. Sherman mentioned that he'd be willing to read more of your entry, feel free to query him at brooks(at)fineprintlit(dot)com with a REVISED query and the first 5 pages of your manuscript. With any luck, a few more of these contest entries will turn into requests!

Last but certainly not least, a big thank-you to Mr. Sherman for taking the time during the holidays to give the entrants his thoughts, and a big thank-you to all of you for contributing your feedback and advice. I really appreciate your support, as these contests wouldn’t work without you.

Have a great Tuesday!

The Agent = Brooks Sherman of FinePrint Literary Management

December’s agent was Brooks Sherman of FinePrint Literary Management! FinePrint is in the process of overhauling their website, so Mr. Sherman’s profile isn’t available just yet (although they expect to have their revamped website up and running after the start of the new year). In the meantime, if you’d like more information about our esteemed agent, you might check out these links:

Mr. Sherman’s Twitter page
Mr. Sherman’s profile on the Guide to Literary Agents blog

And from that profile: “He is seeking: On the adult side, literary and upmarket fiction running the gamut from contemporary (with an eye toward multicultural or satirical) to speculative (particularly urban/contemporary fantasy, horror/dark fantasy, and slipstream). Brooks also has a weakness for historical fiction and a burgeoning interest in crime fiction. For nonfiction, he is particularly interested in works that focus on current events, history, and pop science/sociology. On the children’s side, he is looking to build a list of boy-focused Middle Grade novels (all subgenres, but particularly fantasy adventure and contemporary), and is open to YA fiction of all types except paranormal romance.

Brooks is specifically seeking projects that balance strong voice with gripping plot lines; he particularly enjoys flawed (but sympathetic) protagonists and stories that organically blur the lines between genres. Stories that make him laugh earn extra points. Recent favorites include WHITEMAN by Tony D’Souza, THE TIME TRAVELER’S WIFE by Audrey Niffenegger, the Monstrumologist series by Rick Yancey, THE THIEVES OF MANHATTAN by Adam Langer, and HORNS by Joe Hill.”

Winners coming up in a few hours...

Ding! Round Six!

The entries are up, The Agent is here (or will be shortly), and the critiques are flowing in! Entrants, please remember to critique at least 3 other entries; everyone else, critique as many as you want. If you want to think like The Agent, you might consider the question, "How much of the entry did you read, and if you didn't read it all, why did you stop?" as you give your feedback, but I'm sure the entrants would love to hear anything you have to say (so long as it's constructive, of course).

I'll reveal The Agent's identity and announce his or her winners and prizes sometime next week. (Since Christmas sandwiched itself right in the middle of this month's round, I thought The Agent deserved a couple of grace days.) Until then, critique away!

P.S. Entrants, if you notice any problems with your entries, feel free to leave a comment or shoot me an e-mail so I can fix them.

An Agent's Inbox #20

Dear Mystery Agent,

Before Mia Tanaka decides to attend Vega Preparatory Academy, the hardest decision in her life is choosing what college to go to; after she gets to Vega, she has to choose between her dream of becoming a time traveler and saving the world.

Vega Preparatory Academy is a place shrouded in mystery. Even the brochure Mia is offered by Vega representatives Rhys and Jesse, who happen to be beautiful, at her school’s college fair doesn’t provide any helpful information. Mia gives the school no real thought until Rhys impresses upon her how much Vega needs her, and in turn, how much she needs Vega.

Later that day, when Mia arrives at work, a strange woman grabs Mia and warns her that she must not attend Vega Preparatory Academy, and if she does, there will be grave consequences. Despite the warning, Mia feels drawn to Vega and decides it is where she wants to go.

During Mia’s first day at Vega, she is reintroduced to Rhys, who seems to be interested in her romantically. That would be great if it weren’t for Angelica, the mean girl who decides to make life miserable for Mia because she has it in her head that Rhys is her man, and Jesse, Rhys’s handsome and mysterious cousin who Mia can’t help but have a crush on.

Vega continues to intrigue Mia as bits and pieces of its secret comes out. When Mia finally learns that Vega Preparatory Academy is the training ground for time travelers, something clicks inside of her. This is what Mia is meant to do. The only problem is there is just one lone female time traveler spot open, so Mia will have to fight for the position. Mia has never had to fight for anything in her life and isn’t sure that she has enough in her to get past Angelica’s conniving ways, the strange woman from the diner who attempts to shut down Vega forever, and most of all, her own insecurities.

VEGA is a YA Fantasy novel complete at 100,000 words.

Growing up on the sunny shores of Kailua, Hawaii, I avidly read books like A Wrinkle in Time, Tennis Shoes among the Nephites, and Anne of Avonlea. These books opened my mind and prompted me to dream of traveling to long lost times and being a part of different worlds. As I grew up, I realized that dream was impossible. VEGA is, in a way, my rebellion. After gaining my Bachelor of Arts in History from Utah Valley University and learning even more about the times I yearned to be a part of, I decided that if I wanted a world in which I could time travel to exist, I needed to create it.

Thank you so much for your time and consideration.

J.K.


VEGA

Normally the last place I would want to be at 8 AM on a Saturday morning was at school, but here I was. The cafeteria was not as stuffy and stale as usual. The smell of yesterday’s tacos was still lingering, but at least it was a less nauseating smell. It took a back seat to the hope that could be felt in the air; it was almost tangible. There were fewer tables than normal, and they were all pushed along the periphery of the square-shaped cafeteria. The college reps sat against the wall so that the students could gather on the other side of the tables.

It was the annual college fair, and Principal Mayner had talked it up so much that I was actually kind of excited to be there. James Adams High School had not only received the highest test scores in the state this year, but we also had a state championship football team. That kind of prestige brought in lots of interest from the surrounding universities and colleges. My parents and in turn I had always assumed I would go to Boise State like both of my parents did, but now the idea of not following in their footsteps, seemed rather appealing.

I didn’t notice that my best friend Jenna had come up beside me and she startled me when she said, “I still can’t believe you dragged me here on a Saturday morning. What’s the point anyway?”

An Agent's Inbox #19

Dear Agent:

I am pleased to submit for your consideration the young adult novel, THE SPARK. At 81,500 words this fantasy combines astrological and astronomical elements, but rooted in the modern world. When seventeen year old Ellie Hawkins wishes that the printed words in her favorite novel become real, sparks fly between her and otherworldly, Elan Channing, but danger accompanies their romance and they must fight dark forces to preserve their love and ultimately save the world.

After Ellie moves to a new school in a small New England town, she finds escape from her loneliness in books, dreaming of a life filled with the adventure and romance found within the pages. On her birthday she unwraps the newest release by her favorite author which promises to provide her with hours of fun filled fantasy. As Ellie blows out the candles on her cupcakes, she wishes the fantasy she holds in her hands would become real. In the moment the last flame darkens she sets something in motion that turns her world upside down, inviting the cosmic forces of the Celestial Pantheon and the love of exchange student Elan. As Ellie’s life starts to display shocking parallels to the novel she discovers Elan is not an ordinary teenager, but a member of Celestial House Polaris. Along with romance, Elan ushers with him danger. Entwined in their story is Lucien, mysterious, sinister and a member of rival Celestial House Cruxis. He is determined to go to any length to diminish and destroy the Spark, the light within, that unites Ellie and Elan.

As fact and fiction intersect; Ellie’s life takes unexpected turns that not even she, the most imaginative of dreamers, can foresee. Ellie embarks upon a journey to find out who she really is and the role she plays in the celestial fantasy that had appeared only to be ink on paper. Pursued by Lucien, she faces dangers that could bring the world to an explosive end.

Pasted below are the first two-hundred and fifty words. I look forward to hearing from you, reading the comments and thank you for your time and consideration.

Yours Sincerely,
D.H.


THE SPARK

The phone rang unwillingly pulling me from a juicy dream. I answered groggily.

“Good morning,” Lily, my endearingly chipper best friend, trilled.

“Morning,” I replied with less enthusiasm. Not good, but blah, another blah day in a blah town.

She got right to the point, “So last night while you were tucked in with three hundred and fifty pages of inky fantasy, I was at a party on the riverbank.” That explained the noise I heard in the distance late last night.

“Kyle was there, oh Ellie,” her tempo slowed as if in reverie, “he’s so cute and I think he might…” Her words faded as I wondered with alarm when did Lily become interested in parties and guys? Had she contracted something during her vacation to Niagara Falls? She and I bonded specifically because we had no interest in all that lameness.

Her voice bounced back to me. “We were hanging out around the fire and a car was speeding down the dirt road. It came to a sudden stop and this wicked hot guy, who I’d never seen before, got out,” she paused for effect, “he asked if any of us knew Eleanor Hawkins.” I squirmed as she said my full name.

“I walked right up to him and said, ‘Who wants to know?’ He glared at me, spit on the ground and then he got back in his car and sped off sending sand flying everywhere, a very dramatic exit. So who is this mystery man Ellie?”

An Agent's Inbox #18

Dear Agent,

Bo Wolf is not your average bully slaying eleven-year-old. Sure, his arms look like flexi-straws, and other kids tell him to go back to his home on Dweeb Island, but Bo doesn't care. With his mad fencing skills and soon-to-be smoking good looks, he's convinced he's on the road to awesomeness.

After impressing a schoolyard gang by defeating their leader in a broomstick combat, Bo agrees to help them take on the meanest and ugliest bully known to middle school--Grendul--who's taken the playground jungle gym for his own.

However, when Bo puts the smackdown on Grendul, he finds a much more powerful adversary in the bully's mom, the school lunch lady. Angered by her precious son's defeat, the lunch lady, who's actually a witch, plots to poison the entire school with her irresistible gingersnaps. But with the help of a spunky girl named Reagan, Bo discovers the witch's diabolical plan.

In his attempt to stop her, Bo befriends a drocket (a dragon that shrinks to fit in your pocket) that's been enslaved by the witch's dark magic. Bo must face his doubts and embark on a rescue mission with the drocket to save the middle school from an imminent cafeteria-induced death.

Complete at 36,000 words, I'm Here to Save Your Day--The Adventures of Bo Wolf is a middle grade humorous/adventure and a modern version of the epic poem, Beowulf, set within the tumultuous battlefields of the middle school playground.

Thank you so much for your time. I look forward to hearing from you. The entire manuscript is available at your request.

Warm Regards,
J.L.


I’M HERE TO SAVE YOUR DAY--THE ADVENTURES OF BO WOLF

I hated first days.

I turned toward my mom with big glossy eyes behind my glasses, (well, one eye actually. Yeah, I wear an eye-patch, so what?)

“Just one more day,” I pleaded. “Please, Mom? Don’t make me suffer.”

"Give it up, Bo. You’ll have to go to school eventually, might as well be today. Now, you don't want to be late. It's good to be prompt and make a good impression."

She always insisted I be on time. Ugh.

"But, Mom," I said, "school doesn't start until eight. It's only seven-thirty."

She smiled and leaned over, giving me a big mom hug. "You need to sign in at the Administrations Office. They're expecting you." She paused, tapping her lip with a purple painted fingernail. "Well, maybe I should go with you. You might need some help signing in." She took off her seatbelt.

"No, I got this," I said. "I'll be fine, Mom."

She smiled. "All right, I'll see you at two-fifteen. Good luck, honey. Go get 'em."

She kissed me on the cheek and I looked around frantically, hoping no one saw what very well could've been my imminent downfall before ever setting foot at my new school. How was my coolness bound to spread if my mom was giving me kisses in the open?

An Agent's Inbox #17

Dear Agent:

Lia Lewiston hasn’t had a peaceful night’s sleep since she was orphaned as a child. Chased through the woods by a hunter and his ruby-hilted knife, she believes her nightmares are the product of her tragic past--until she meets Colson Vane.

Now, Lia doesn’t know what to believe. At night he kills her in her dreams, but by day Colson becomes the one person she connects with the most. Drawn to him, she longs to reveal the truth about herself--about the family of exotic pets she was given at her christening. The rambunctious and adoring pixies who each presented her with a gift: music, wit, dance, grace, song, and beauty. But these are secrets she can never tell; not to someone she knows is keeping secrets from her. When the terrifying queen of the faeries appears in her dreams, Lia’s beliefs are again changed. Because the truth about why the hunter kills her night after night is worse than she imagined. Doomed to die on her sixteenth birthday, to keep a faery prophecy from coming true, Lia now has to fight for her life or the danger of her nightmare will become the reality she feared.

SLEEP, a YA romantic suspense retelling of Perrault’s Sleeping Beauty tale, is complete at 72,000 words. While intended to be first in a fairy tale quartet, SLEEP is a stand alone novel.

Sincerely,
M.H.


SLEEP

I see the black clouds first, puffing from the trees and trailing up like wispy smoke. My palms prickle, because I know what happens next. He’s coming. Same as he has in a thousand other unchanging dreams.

A shiver bristles from the base of my spine to the top of my scalp as trees beckon with pointy fingers. I keep my gaze forward. Pretend not to notice their hollowed eyes in burl faces. Their wide grinning mouths as they reach for me. I need to run but I’m rooted in the middle of a gravel road. The crooked sign ahead must be some kind of subconscious joke. CAUTION, it warns. As if I need the warning.

My stomach jumps to my throat when I hear it--the crunching of gravel paces ahead.

Crunch. He moves closer.

Crunch. Closer still.

Crunch.

The hunter moves into sight, fingers clenched white around the ruby encrusted hilt of his knife. My heart bursts, screaming for me to run, and when my feet pull free of the road, I whip around and pitch forward. The grinding behind me signals the chase is on. I’m fast, flying down the road, and even though I know what happens next, I pray that maybe, just maybe, this time my dream will change.

But the hunter is faster than me. He reaches out, grabs my arm. Hooks my leg with his foot and I fall face first. Then he is on me, breath warm on my neck.