Title:
LUMINARY
Genre:
YA fantasy
Word
count: 91,000
Query:
Seventeen-year-old Caya Filar, like
everyone else in her city, sees only in grayscale. Colors exist as magical
energy, once worked by Luminaries like her father. But colors became something
to fear when a prince, terrified of the magic he couldn’t see, slaughtered the
Luminaries and stole the king’s throne.
Now little better than an outcast, Caya
steers clear of the king's guards. She knows they’re eager for any excuse to
brand her a Luminary and execute her, whether she can see color or not. And
there’s no chance of leaving the city with guards patrolling the walls, murdering
anyone who tries to flee. Keeping her head down, she works in a shop to feed
her family--at least until the shopkeeper's son proposes. His respectable name
might help her overcome the stigma left by her father's Luminary magic.
If only the stone in her engagement ring
had stayed gray.
First
page:
Every day as I left for work, Avara tried to
make me feel guilty. It was our daily routine. Socialites don’t work in shops--not
even former socialites. Never mind that she only ate because I was earning a
wage.
I kept my head high and my shoulders back as I made
my way to the grand foyer, waiting for her usual sound of disgust. Sure enough,
I was only about halfway down the curved staircase when it came. “Stubborn as
ever,” she said softly, leaning against the doorframe of the parlor, arms
crossed over her stomach.
“Not stubborn.” After months of the same
argument, my voice came out flat and disinterested. “Just not in favor of
starving to death.”
“You’re making things worse. You have to see
that.”
“Yes, because so many people were clamoring to
marry us before I took a job.”
She glared at me. No matter how many times I
used the line, she had no response. Yet she still picked the fight, pretending
nothing had changed in the six years since King Elun stole the throne.
The uprising happened the night of Avara’s
debut ball, ruining her plan to be betrothed by midnight. She’d known Elun’s
guards were coming for our father, hunting down anyone who could see the colors
of magic. But all she’d cared about was getting a ring on her finger, no matter
the cost.
If she hadn’t argued for so long, we probably
all would’ve gotten out of the city alive.
16 comments:
I still love the dialogue between the two sisters! Your concept is so intriguing too. Good luck!
Ooh, I love the last line of the query and of the first 250. Good luck!
Wow. I love the concept of fearing color and only seeing in grayscale. Very unique! And even though it's fantasy, you've brought in some great realism here by opening with the conflict between sisters. That's something that everyone can relate to. Well done! Good luck!
The comic book colorist in me is calling out for this book. Concept sounds AWESOME - love it! Good luck!
I LOVE this story!!! Fingers and toes crossed for you! Good Luck!! :D
Such a great premise! Can't wait to read this one!
I love, love, love your concept (seriously, if you ever need a reader, please look me up!) and the sister dynamic is pitch perfect. Good luck!
"If only the stone in her engagement ring had stayed gray." - This is an amazing way to end the query. So powerful. Love your first 250! Good luck!
Oh yeah! The closing line of the query = genius. All the luck!
Your query was great before, but now I really feel like the whole thing has the same bang as that last line. This is one of my favorites and I'm rooting for it!
This is one of the most original concepts I've seen, and I'm intrigued to see how it plays out. Rock on, Team Krista!
Love love love this! Good luck! :)
Yay! I'm so glad you're on Team Krista because I really like your story idea - you had me hooked at the dramatic query conclusion. So good!
I read your entry yesterday, and have been thinking about it ever since. I NEED to read this book. Like, today. I can't wait to see it in stores!
Oh, wow! Count this as a vote from me.
@tina_wexler
This concept is terrific. Would love to read more!
Monika
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