Title: WATER LILY
Genre: YA science
fiction thriller
Word count: 90,000
Query:
Sixteen-year-old Sadie Vonner has spent her life training
to be a Reconner, an elite agent who scours Earth’s rapidly rising seas for
resources. She’s had a clean record since the accident that killed her best
friend Brandt, and if she can put the past behind her and make rank, she’ll be
able to explore the drowning land outside Water Lily, her floating seaborne
city.
But then she finds the note.
Written by Brandt the day he died, it leads to a series
of puzzles he hid throughout the city and raises questions about the
circumstances of his death. Desperate for answers, Sadie risks her shot at
Reconner to play a final round of their childhood treasure-hunting
game. But she’s not the only one looking for the trail’s end.
Complicating the search is Emery, the frustrating boy
with the strange accent, who insists he can help solve the riddles, but as they
grow closer, she suspects he’s hiding something. There’s also Brandt’s brother Morgan,
a powerful city officer and violent alcoholic who threatens Sadie’s father if
she doesn’t deliver the final clue. As Morgan stalks her every move, Sadie
questions just how much he knows about Brandt’s death.
When Brandt’s clues indicate that he might be alive,
Sadie must decide how far she’s willing to go to learn the truth. Following his
trail outside the walls of Water Lily means severing ties with her home, but
it’s the only way to find the final piece of the puzzle: Brandt himself.
First page:
“They’re back,” someone whispers.
My classmates press their faces to the windows,
fingertips smearing the glass as they stare out at the endless ocean.
“They’ve been gone for weeks,” Roger says. “I thought
they were dead.”
My hands curl around the edge of the desk, which is
something of an antique--the trees that made it are extinct. “The Reconners?”
I ask. No one answers. My classmates are more likely to talk about me than to
me.
I jump to my feet and join them, squinting through the
smudged glass at the tiny brown-clad men and women on the sea below. Their hovercraft
slows as it approaches the city, and the sun glints off the weathered tarp
strapped to the cargo-hold.
They found something.
Grabbing my communication tablet from my desk, I dash
past gray-haired Professor Wright, who’s nodded off mid-lecture once again, and
duck into the nearest stairwell. It’s already flooded with a sea of people
trickling down to the deck, but I swim through them, determined to grab a piece
of the Reconners’ latest find.
Excited chatter fills the air as we spill onto the
sunbaked deck, and I squeeze through the thousands of citizens until I find a
spot where I can breathe. The wind whips my dark hair into tangles, and I pull
strands of it from my mouth, tasting salt. My heart marks the seconds as they
tick into minutes, but then, finally, the portal door opens.
17 comments:
I love the idea of puzzles and clues in such a fantastically intriguing setting. I'd definitely pick this up. Good luck!
This is such an amazing premise for a thriller! I love the mystery you've set up, and the atmosphere of your opening words really serve to hook the reader immediately. I would keep right on reading if I could! :) Good luck!
Oh, I want to know what's behind the door! Great voice and hook. Good luck!
This is one of the most exciting premises I've read in awhile. I absolutely LOVE IT. Sign me up to read this. Seriously - can I? :) GOOD LUCK!
This is a treasure hunt I'd love to join - and I'm a sucker for best guy friends. Good luck with this!
Love the premise of this. Water Lily sounds like such a cool setting for a novel, and you've done a great job with world building in your opening. I'd love to read more of this. Good luck! Team Krista FTW!
This sounds so amazing! I love a good thriller - and your query letter pulled me in fast. I'm in love with this idea. Your first 250 leave me wanting more, more, more!!
I really feel this is a great and unique dystopian that will stand out. I want to know what's under the tarp, and I love how you wove a mystery/puzzle element into it.
This sounds awesome! Best of luck :)
I really love this one - I've been hooked ever since I ready your query last time, and your first page is really well-written. I would love to read this one! Tons of luck!!
this is the kind of book that'd leave my knuckles white from all the clutching of the pages i'd be doing.
i'm a sucker for a thriller/mystery, and this sounds wicked exciting and the right kind of scary! plus, i love the unique setting. sadie's world is definitely one i want to explore!
good luck!
I love puzzle-y, twisty plots! The setting is exciting, and the imagery in your first page is craaaaazy. I'd stay up all night reading this one for sure. Good luck!
The story intrigues me, and the voice is smooth. Interested to read more!
I love the concept here. I'm happy to request this!
-Mollie
This sounds great. Would love to read more!
So intriguing -- I would love to read more.
Monika
Happy to take a look. Thanks.
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