Writing What You Are

I know I say this a lot, but I have some wonderful critique partners. I’ve learned so many things from all of them, both from reading their words and letting them read mine. In particular, I’ve learned what it means to write what you are.

Consider Amy. On she surface, she appears to be just another American housewife and stay-at-home mom, but if you dig a little deeper, you’ll find she actually spent most of her growing-up years in Hong Kong. (I think her parents were professors or something.) Then she moved back to the States for college, got married, and—you guessed it—moved overseas again, this time to mainland China. She and her husband lived there for the first seven or eight years of their marriage, which means that, on the whole, she’s spent a lot more time outside of the United States than inside of it.

But the really exciting part is that she lets that heritage seep into her writing. Her novels often have an American-Chinese angle, and why wouldn’t they? She’s kind of an expert, after all. And it’s such a part of who she is that not writing about it would deny the rest of us such a unique perspective on another culture (and even our own).

Then there’s Ben. To give you an idea of what he’s like, check out the bio sketch from his Blogger profile: “By day, I battle rogue robots for the good of society. [I think that means he writes technical manuals for a robotics company. (And after checking with Ben himself, I discovered he also gets to test these robots. Talk about a cool day job!)] I’ve been run over by a station wagon, have nearly run over a kangaroo, and would rather just ride a bicycle. I survived depression, found true love, and am living happily ever after. I love writing, singing, and lists with three items.”

Ben’s most recent manuscript is about two young people with depression who take a job with a robotics company. The company does contracted work for the U.S. Army overseas; at the moment, they’re developing a line of intelligent armored vehicles designed to carry out the most dangerous suicide missions. The problem is, the armored vehicles aren’t quite intelligent enough to run themselves, so they need a team of drivers, drivers who want to die.

Oh, and did I mention the main character’s pretty handy with a camera (and that Ben is, too)? 

Writing what you are is similar to writing what you know and writing what you love; in fact, writing what you are draws from both of these more common refrains. But writing what you are goes even deeper. Writing what you are means writing the manuscript that only you could write. It means writing about the themes, the people, the places that are uniquely yours.

I think we forget sometimes that we’re characters, too, unique and interesting individuals with voices and idiosyncrasies, likes and dislikes, strengths and weaknesses. So when agents say they want to read something they haven’t read before or discover an undiscovered voice, we don’t have to reinvent the wheel. We just have to give them OUR stories. Because if they truly are our stories, then they have to be unique.

Agent-Author Chat: Michelle Andelman and Liesl Shurtliff

Hey, look--it’s another installment of “Agent-Author Chat”! (Two interviews in two weeks? I’m on a roll!) Today’s interview features Michelle Andelman of Regal Literary and one of my good friends and critique partners, Liesl Shurtliff.

Here’s a quick reminder about how this will work: Ms. Shurtliff will share her query with us, the actual query she sent to Ms. Andelman, and then she’ll chat a bit about how she developed it and what advice she has for fellow writers. Then Ms. Andelman will tell us what she liked about the query--and the manuscript itself--and share some query-writing tips with us.

Ms. Shurtliff's query and responses will appear in orange, Ms. Andelman's in blue.

Ms. Shurtliff’s Query Rump is a lousy name, but it’s even worse when your name is your destiny. Rump’s destiny really stinks. Because his mother only spoke aloud part of his name before she died, Rump is only part of a person. He is short, skinny, and apparently an idiot, because he thinks the world is round when everyone in the village says it’s flat.

When Rump discovers his mother’s old magic of spinning gold, he thinks his destiny is golden, until the greedy miller manipulates Rump into bringing the gold to him. Only then does Rump realize that the same magic that allows him to spin the gold also binds him to take whatever others will offer him in exchange for the gold. He fears his half-spoken name has something to do with the mess.

Then the miller boasts to the king that his only daughter, Opal, is the one who spins the gold. Rump thinks he’ll be a hero if he helps Opal, but he gets in over his head when Opal makes a foolish bargain: she promises Rump her first-born child. On a quest to be free of the miller’s greed and the binding bargains, Rump learns of rumpel, magic that traps you, and of stiltskins, magic that frees you. He’s got the trapped part down. If only he could find a stiltskin. If only he knew his whole name.

RUMP, a middle-grade retelling of Rumpelstiltskin from his own quirky point-of-view, is complete at 58,000 words. I read that you prefer quirky and charming middle-grade, so I hope this will interest you. I have published stories and articles in Guideposts Sweet 16, Hopscotch for Girls, and The Friend. I review books for Deseret News and I’m an active member of SCBWI since 2008.

Thank you for your time.

KV: Ms. Shurtliff, how did you first come up with the idea for RUMP?

LS: I was actually brainstorming another fairytale when I got the idea. I was thinking about the importance of names and how it would be really interesting to create a fairytale world where a person's name determined their destiny. Instantly my mind gravitated to the Rumpelstiltskin tale, because if there ever was a story where a name was important, it was that one. And because I have a totally immature love of potty humor, I thought it would be funny to shorten his name to Rump. I smiled instantly. What kind of a destiny would someone called Rump have? A totally stinky one! The name and destiny were the seeds of my story and it grew from there. It was a lot of fun!

KV: Tell us a little bit about your query-writing process. Did you work on it here and there as you were writing the manuscript, or before, or after? How many times did you revise it? And how did you decide what order to put things in?

LS: I did write the query here and there as I wrote my manuscript. To me a query is a sort of compass. If you can’t coherently boil down the larger parts of your book in 250 words then it might be an indication that you have a problem with your overall story, like you have no idea what it’s about. So the query helped me stay on track and focused.

I revised my pitch paragraph dozens of times as I revised my novel and got it ready for submission. I often revised what characters and plot points were necessary in the query and tried to make it as clear and tight as possible.

As far as the order, I'm a fairly linear person, so I just started with the beginning and moved until I reached the major tipping point where I hoped an agent would ask to read more.

KV: What was the hardest thing about writing your query? What was the easiest?

LS: I think the hardest thing (or at least most labor intensive) was really personalizing my query to each agents’ particular tastes. There are varying ideas about what makes a good query. Some want you to go right into the pitch, others prefer a bit of introduction. Some want book comparisons, others find that presumptuous. Most want you to end the query with a cliffhanger, but I did find one agent who wanted to know the resolution in the query. Some want no sample page, others want one, five, ten, three chapters, the whole thing plus a synopsis and a bio and the name of your dog.

It's an exhausting amount of research, but I think it's important to show them that you've taken the time to learn about them and give them what they want. Otherwise, how can we expect them to take our work seriously?

The easiest part was writing the first couple of lines. I know this is tooting my own horn, but it still makes me laugh.

KV: Ms. Andelman, when you first read Ms. Shurtliff’s query, what caught your attention?

MA: I was caught by the mix of humor and heart that was evident in the query itself--Liesl did a terrific job of crafting a query letter that demonstrated just how strong and lively a writer she is, and what’s more, a query letter whose tone perfectly captured that of the project.

Rump is a little boy with at once a wise yet humorous perspective. There’s tenderness yet also a bold, laugh-out-loud quality to his voice, and the way he sees both the world and himself. From reading Liesl’s query alone, I was able to sense that about her protagonist--and sense that she’d drive him through a truly extraordinary and emotional character arc, even alongside the adventure she was going to send him on. I only hoped the pages would bear that out! I was so eager to see; truly, I had such genuine fun reading the query that I couldn’t wait to dip into the pages! Liesl says just above that her query made her laugh--me too!

KV: Obviously, the manuscript met--or exceeded--your expectations. What did you love about RUMP?

MA: I’m drawn to fairytale and folktale retellings in theory, but in practice I’m selective about what I take on in this vein. RUMP won me immediately over! The manuscript made it evident how much Liesl loves and knows the fairytale she’s giving a fresh spin, and how much she loves and knows fairytales in general.

RUMP has strong roots in traditional fairytale world building and storytelling. There are sludge-slurping trolls, aunts who are witches, and pixies with gold fever. Yet it also boldly reinvented the wheel, recasting the reviled legendary character of Rumpelstiltskin as a very young boy you can’t help but feel for--and whose humor, magically, even within the context of the traditional fairytale story world Liesl created (one that’s all her own, yet has a timeless feel), felt perfectly contemporary. There’s a bold, irrepressible boy humor in RUMP that called to mind SHREK, which I totally love, and which I feel also--like RUMP--pays homage to fairytale tradition while irreverently dosing it with a humor I loved, and which I think kid readers today will love.

KV: Just have to jump in here and say that I love the Shrek comparison! It’s so apt! And it's so cool to hear what an agent has to say about a manuscript I’ve actually read. Okay, back to the interview…

How quickly did you read Ms. Shurtliff’s manuscript? Is that pretty typical of your response times on requested material, or do those vary?

MA: I just looked back at my records. There were just 14 business days that passed between the day I received Liesl’s full manuscript (I did request the full upfront, after reviewing her paper query with ten pages of writing attached) and the day I wrote to let her know I was in love with RUMP, and wanted to schedule a phone conversation for the next day (during which I offered her representation).

My response times on requested material, admittedly, can vary. I can take longer especially in cases where a full read finds me sitting on the fence, loving elements but not feeling the work’s quite coherent enough yet, so I must think about what specific editorial work I might suggest an author and I do together to get a submission ready for editors’ eyes.

Or I can take longer if I love a full manuscript but worry about its marketability. In that case, sometimes I need to take extra time to decide if I love it enough to commit to it, even if I feel it could be a tough sale. Or, I need to give extra thought as to a placement strategy--that’s my way of shoring up my confidence that I can successfully find a home for it.

Of course, it’s loveliest to read a submitted manuscript and, as I am reading, clearly see what editorial work I’ll recommend and what my placement strategy will be--and, by the end of my read, be feeling that warm & fuzzy “I-am-in-love, I-want-to-represent-this-author, I-know-exactly-which-editors-will-flip-for-this-like-I-have” glow. That’s not the case with every submission I take on--some I love, but need a lot of development; some I love, but raise market questions that I need to answer first; but some come along that, for me, feel like no-brainers. I love it, it’s in great shape, and I know just how I’ll go about placing it. My response time is speedy when that’s the case and that was totally the case with RUMP.

KV: Ms. Shurtliff, what tips do you have for fellow writers as they work on their queries?

LS: Do your homework on both queries and agents. Read as many queries as you can and figure out why they work or don’t work. (I highly recommend Query Shark.) Have a few people read your query who have not read your book to make sure the query makes sense. If you have to explain any point at all, that’s a red flag.

Beyond that, don't obsess over it! Queries are important but your book is more important. Put the big time into the real baby.

KV: Same question to you, Ms. Andelman. What query-writing suggestions do you have?

MA: The best query advice I have is not to query too soon! Give yourself time to get the manuscript right--I think Liesl’s final tip above is totally on-point. There’s no sense in sweating a query for a book that isn’t as ready--as developed, as polished--as you are able to get it.

That said, once you’re ready, I recommend drafting a concise query that doesn’t summarize the plot in step-by-step fashion but instead moves us through your story’s major movements and gives us a sense for how your characters arc. It’s so important, I think, to highlight in a query an emotional throughline for your story or protagonist--really, I don’t see enough queries that do. It’s the emotional arc (that runs alongside your story arc) that hooks me in a query, and which makes me want to read the book.

KV: Any last words of advice or encouragement you’d like to share with us?

LS: Focus on your craft and give yourself time and space to grow as a writer. Getting an agent and a book deal (though very exciting and validating) are not the grand prize of writing. The goal is to write wonderful stories that you love and reach the audience who will love them as well. So keep that in mind when you’re biting your nails over a query letter.

Wow, wow, wow! Thank you, ladies, for these wonderful thoughts. I, too, thought Ms. Shurtliff’s suggestion about focusing more on the book and less on the query was spot-on, and Ms. Andelman’s insights into her manuscript-reading thought process were so informative.

As I announced a few months ago, RUMP recently sold to Knopf/Random House, so the rest of you will be able to read RUMP for yourselves in the spring of 2013! Until then, this interview will have to tide you over:)

To Reveal or Not to Reveal The Agent's Identity--That Is the Question

I'd love to hear what you thought of October's round of "An Agent's Inbox," specifically what you thought about knowing who The Agent was beforehand. Do you want to try another round like that sometime, or do you prefer not knowing The Agent's identity upfront? I can see pros and cons to both, so I wanted to get a sense of what you guys were thinking as we get ready for next month's contest.

P.S. Happy Halloween!

Interactive Interview with an Agent: Hannah Bowman

And “Interview with an Agent” returns! Today’s INTERACTIVE installment features Hannah Bowman, the newest agent at Liza Dawson Associates. Details on the interactive part are at the bottom. See you down there!

KV: How long have you been agenting, and how did you get into it?

HB: I've been officially an agent since the beginning of August this year--I'm still brand new. Before that I interned at Liza Dawson Associates for eight months.

I actually got interested in publishing from the writing side: I wrote and queried a couple novels of my own--both of which were (rightly) rejected. So I've been there! As I was querying, I realized I was really interested in what agents do--the editing, negotiations, and business side of publishing--so I started looking for internships and opportunities to read manuscripts. I interned briefly with agent Weronika Janczuk before starting at Liza Dawson Associates.

KV: How would you summarize your personal agenting philosophy? What do you expect from an agent-author relationship?

HB: I'm a very hands-on agent. I love to edit and help writers draw out their story. It's so satisfying to give writers suggestions and have them say, "Yes, that's exactly what I was trying to say!" I really want to be involved in every part of the publishing process, from editing to marketing, and help my clients turn ideas and talent into long-term careers.

KV: What client work do you have coming out soon? What drew you to those writers and/or projects?

HB: Since I'm so new, I don't have any projects coming out yet. I can tell you what I'm drawn to, though: big concepts, twisty plots, and strong voices.

Let me break that down a little.

Big concepts: I love science fiction and fantasy because of the world building and the big ideas in the books. When I read query letters, I'm looking in large part for a story idea that takes my breath away. That doesn't have to a be a speculative idea: the right romance or contemporary YA concept has the same punch.

Twisty plots: I love the feeling when the threads of a complex plot come together and suddenly you know where the story has to go--and then it goes there. Revelations of secrets, hard choices and sacrifices, and anything Tolkien would call "eucatastrophe"--a happy ending pulled off when things are at their absolute worst and all seems lost--are all very satisfying to me. I really like to see conflicts be pushed as far as they can be, and I love characters who are forced to make difficult choices in impossible situations, where there's no right thing to do.

Strong voices: I think successful fiction really comes down to characters. A strong voice doesn't necessarily have to be snarky or funny, but I want to feel like the character is right there beside me.

KV: What genres do you represent? What genres do you definitely NOT represent?

HB: I represent all kinds of commercial fiction, especially science fiction and fantasy, romance, historical fiction, and cozy mysteries. I also represent all genres of YA.

I'm a hard sell on thrillers, unless they're offbeat, and on anything that could be described as "hard-boiled." I'm also likely not the right agent for a literary fiction project.

I'm looking for some select nonfiction, mostly about math or science, or religion and spirituality, especially church history. I'm not the right agent for memoirs, though.

KV: What query pet peeves and/or pitfalls should writers avoid when querying you?

HB: There's no pet peeve that will make me put down a query without reading it. I make my decisions based on the quality of writing in the query and the concept of the book. That said: I'm really not interested in hearing about what message you expect your book to teach. And, for YA queries, if you say that your book is appropriate for YA because it doesn't have bad language/mature themes, I'm likely to be skeptical that you're really familiar with the YA market.

KV: You only want to see the query letter in a writer’s initial contact, but several respected industry sites have advised writers to include a few sample pages at the bottom of every query, whether the agent asked for them or not. So if a writer goes ahead and adds those pages, do you find that more assertive or obnoxious?

HB: It doesn't really make a difference to me. Usually I've made up my mind if I want to read more before I read the pages, based on the concept and writing in the query. Occasionally, if I'm not sure, I'll look at the pages, but in most cases, the writing isn't good enough to convince me to request more. In my experience, it's more common for pages to convince me to pass than to request--but if the writing doesn't catch me, I'll end up passing on a partial anyway, so in the long run it won't change anything.

KV: What are you looking for in a manuscript right now? What are you tired of seeing at the moment?

HB: Right now I'd love to find: a really sweet contemporary romance, a high-concept women's fiction that revolves around one major event in a woman's life, and a big far-future space opera. But that's by no means a complete list--I'm open for anything great that shows up.

I'm tired of YA voices that sound the same--a little snarky, a little insecure, but not really grounded in the personality of a particular character. I'd love to see a really fresh voice in a YA contemporary or paranormal.

KV: What’s the best way to query you?

HB: Query me by e-mail at queryHannah@LizaDawsonAssociates.com, with just a query letter in the body of the e-mail. You can also send a paper query if you prefer, per our submission guidelines at lizadawsonassociates.com/submission.html, but I prefer e-queries.

My submission guidelines are also available at hannahbowman.tumblr.com/post/10824837781/submission-guidelines.

Thanks again, Ms. Bowman, for these responses. And good luck to everyone who decides to query! I imagine that will be a lot of you:)

But before you fire off those e-mails, feel free to ask any questions you may have for Ms. Bowman in the comments below. She’ll drop in periodically throughout the day to answer whatever questions she finds down there, leaving her answers in the comments as well. We’ll wrap things up at 5:00 p.m. EDT (or 2:00 p.m. PDT), but until then, ask away!

Steve's Query and First Page

I'm half excited and half nervous to share Steve's query and first page with you. Gives me a new appreciation for how you "An Agent's Inbox" entrants must feel, and this isn't even a contest!

Anyway, here they are (for the time being, at least). Feel free to leave your feedback in the comments. I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Steve's Query Twelve-year-old Ella Mae is a sensible girl. She believes in the Good Lord Jesus Christ and tunes in once a week for that new television show I Love Lucy (but only when Dragnet isn’t on). So when some egghead scientist starts spouting nonsense about deoxy-something-or-other and how he can regenerate her auntie Mildred’s long-dead son from the blood on his old dog tags, Ella Mae doesn’t believe him. Or at least she doesn’t until a man steps out of the bio-pod and drips yellow-green slime onto the floor.

Problem is, the man who steps out of that bio-pod isn’t her cousin. He’s a Japanese.

Ella Mae knows that she should hate him, but when he can’t remember his own name, she feels more pity than hate. Ella Mae gives the man a name and, like any good mama, vows to protect him from the world. She spits at the reverend for calling him an abomination and even tells off her loose-lipped cousin for trying to kiss him. But when the man’s memories resurface, memories about the war and what really happened on the day his blood splashed on her cousin’s dog tags, Ella Mae has to learn the hard way that she can’t protect him from some things.

[TITLE], complete at 52,000 words, is an MG historical with a dash of science fiction. [Agent-specific comments]

I am a BYU graduate, a stay-at-home mom, and a blogger. My blog, Mother. Write. (Repeat.), receives an average of 8,000 pageviews a month.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Steve's First Page Mama said it was plum foolishness to keep my cousin’s dog tags like that, with his blood still stuck between the ridges of his name. “Don’t know why Mildred won’t wash ’em,” Mama muttered one day while scrubbing dishes. “It’s like she thinks that blood will keep Robby alive somehow, like it’ll keep him with her. And we both know that’s plum foolishness.” She shook a soapy finger in my face. “That’s foolishness, Ella Mae, and don’t let anyone tell you any differently. Especially Auntie Mildred.”

But that was exactly what Mildred told me. “It’s not foolishness, Ella Mae,” she said one day while sweeping floors. “It’s science.” She gave the broom a flick. “And one of these days, those eggheads who invented the atomic bomb are gonna figure out how to create life instead of just destroy it.”

I never told Auntie Mildred what Mama had said, and I never told Mama what Auntie Mildred had said, either. Those two already had enough to fight about, seeing as how they were sisters and all. In fact, when Mama answered the telephone that Saturday afternoon, I figured it was Auntie Mildred calling to resume their ongoing argument about Ajax.

But I was only half right.

“Settle down, Mildred,” Mama said, since she wasn’t the sort to stand for anyone’s shenanigans (especially Auntie Mildred’s). “Now what’s this about Robby?”

I stopped chomping on my asparagus. Something told me I’d want to hear every word of this particular conversation.

A Big Black Cat, an Interview, and a Little Bit of Steve

First things first. Agented writer and blogging friend Mindy McGinnis--better known to most of you as bigblackcat97--has started a new query critiquing series on her blog. Basically, you e-mail her your query, and she posts it on her blog and sinks her claws into it gives you some constructive criticism. (In all seriousness, though, Mindy is one of the nicest people you’ll ever meet, so she dispenses her advice in the kindest possible way.) Other readers share their thoughts with you as well, so you end up with several worthy opinions (which is good, since the truth generally lies somewhere in the middle).

This is especially helpful if you’re looking for feedback before you reach the query stage (and heaven only knows we could all use a little feedback then), so hop over to her blog and give The Saturday Slash a look-see. You do need to be a follower to participate, but I’m sure you’ll want to be one once you check out her site.

Next things next. I (finally) have another installment of “Interview with an Agent” in the pipeline, and better yet, it’s going to be INTERACTIVE. Hannah Bowman, the newest agent at Liza Dawson Associates, will be here this Friday, October 28, to answer any questions you may have. Definitely plan on checking in that day to catch Ms. Bowman’s responses to the usual questions--and a bunch more.

Lastly, I’ve felt a little bad that I always ask you guys to put your queries and first pages on the chopping block but never offer up my own. (Not that I would ever enter one of my own contests, but still.) So in the spirit of not cowering behind the chopping block any longer, I plan to post the current drafts of Steve’s query and first page tomorrow morning, and I’d love to hear your thoughts. If you have a minute, you might check those out as well.

Well, I think that’s it. Anyone else know of any other exciting goings-on around the blogosphere this week?

P.S. Don’t miss the winners Ms. Testerman picked from last week’s round of “An Agent’s Inbox.” Did one of your favorites make the list?

October's Winners!

Without further ado, I give you Ms. Testerman’s winners!

Runners up:

#7 LOOP

#9 UGLY STICK

#15 THE GEARS OF WAR

These entries win a request for the first 5 chapters and a synopsis!

First place: #2 SAVING ANDROMEDA

SAVING ANDROMEDA wins a full request!

Congratulations, winners! Please e-mail me at kvandolzer(at)gmail(dot)com for instructions on how to submit. And a big thank-you to Ms. Testerman, our entrants, and anyone and everyone who critiqued this round. I’m sure I speak for everyone when I say we appreciate your participation.

But lest you think the excitement is over, we have an action-packed week coming up on the blog! Later this afternoon, I’ll post a few announcements. For now, you’ll have to settle for some hints: another query-critiquing opportunity, Steve’s query and first page, and another INTERACTIVE installment of “Interview with an Agent.” Stay tuned!

Critique Away!

The entries are up, and they're great! But I know our entrants are hoping for some feedback, so feel free to give them a little constructive criticism. ENTRANTS, PLEASE REMEMBER TO COMMENT ON AT LEAST 3 OF THE ENTRIES; everyone else, feel free to comment on any or all of them. And if you want to think like The Agent, consider the question, "How much of the entry did you read, and if you didn't read it all, why did you stop?" as you give your feedback.

I'll announce Ms. Testerman's winners and prizes next week, no later than Tuesday, October 25. Until then, have at it!