An Agent's Inbox #3

Dear Agent Inbox,

All Annabel does is lie. To her family, her friends, herself. It’s not her fault. There’s a voice in her head--she calls him Dodge--and he tells her what to do. To steal, to hurt, to lie. Desperate, the adopted seventeen-year-old checks herself into a mental institution. She needs to get rid of Dodge, now, before he ruins her chances of a swimming scholarship, having friends, staying sane. Only Dodge is just as determined to stay as she is for him to go. 

As her doctor leads her through different therapies, and Annabel tries to navigate her relationships with the other inmates, she seems to be getting worse, not better. In regression therapy, Annabel discovers her birth father was a serial killer. She writes therapy letters to him, but they’re not supposed to be sent. Only they are, and her father writes back, telling her there’s a man called Dodge who tells him what to do. He reveals his last victim has never been discovered, and that Annabel holds the key to where she is. But to find out, she must delve into the part of her she is terrified to look at: the heart of who Dodge really is.

LETTERS TO A SERIAL KILLER is a YA contemporary written with elements of psychological suspense in a semi-epistolary style. It’s complete at 55,000 words.

The full manuscript is available at your request.

Best wishes,
F.M.

LETTERS TO A SERIAL KILLER

I am a liar.

That’s what they say. The only time I’m not is when it’s raining. It drums on the ground, pattering like footsteps. It drowns out the noise in my head, the voice that snakes in every time I’m not looking. Liar, liar, liar. You’re just what they think you are. Today it’s raining and I don’t have to listen. I settle on the wet grass, open my mouth, let the raindrops fall like drips of quiet onto my tongue.

‘You look like a drowned rat.’ Luckily, this voice isn’t the one in my head.

I keep my eyes closed, continue to soak myself. ‘Hey, Danny.’

The grass crinkles as he sits down. ‘Want a coat?’

A smile tugs the corner of my mouth.

‘Your lips are blue,’ he says.

I grin.

His rough hand takes mine and he pulls me up. I open my eyes just as he does, and it’s like the world swooshes by on a swing. I put my palms on the ground to steady myself. The sky presses grey above us, but it’s the only thing that holds me together. That, and Danny.

‘Class started already.’ He wipes strands of soaked hair from his eyes. ‘We need to get inside.’

No one else is outside on the fields today. Everyone stays away from me. I pull my knees up and wrap my arms around them. ‘I’ve got to decide today.’

His eyes glisten, but I can’t tell whether it’s the clouds overhead casting shadows, or he’s upset.

‘Don’t look at me like that.’ I get to my feet. He stands with me, oak strong and the most solid thing in my life. ‘You don’t even know if they’ll accept me yet.’

He huffs out a breath. ‘You’re right. I don’t know.’

We walk towards the school, hand in hand. The building looms like a prison. It’s full of chatter, busy students, teachers teaching. People not like me. People judging. The wind gusts its secrets past me.

An Agent's Inbox #2

Dear Agent Inbox:

Nearly eleven years ago, Maggie Mangan was born with the most powerful luck the world’s ever seen--so much so that the International Luck Council declared her the Luckiest Girl in the World. But for reasons no one can explain, Maggie’s luck soon disappeared, leaving her luckless and ordinary.

Maggie’s about to change all that. She senses her luck is buried deep inside her, and she’s desperate for it to come out. A dash will get her friends parts in the school play, while a smidge can help her brother’s grades. Plus, now that she’s old enough, she’ll be able to travel with other Luckers and help divert hurricanes, find buried treasure, and do other cool stuff to save the world.

But Maggie’s luck recovery project totally backfires, and she becomes a walking, talking, storm of doom who disperses rotten luck wherever she goes. With scientists lending little help, Maggie invents a sort-of unauthorized way to get her good luck back. Problem is, she needs help from the super show-off and incredibly annoying rules-stickler Luckiest Boy to pull it off. Worse, a new threat is rising--the Yellowstone supervolcano--that requires both of their abilities to prevent an eruption. If Maggie can’t figure out a way to work with her archenemy, not only will she have to live with a bad luck stench, but the planet may face the biggest environmental disaster yet.

Complete at 53,000 words, THE LUCKIEST GIRL IN THE WORLD is a magical realism adventure featuring a main character with the spunk and tenacity of Merida from Disney’s BRAVE in a magic-tinged world akin to that in Ingrid Law’s SAVVY. Pursuant to your submission guidelines, I've pasted the first 250 words below. Thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely,

K.L.

THE LUCKIEST GIRL IN THE WORLD

The orange glitter storm wasn’t one of my better ideas. For one, glitter’s impossible to clean up. Days later, I found specks in the strangest places, like my toothbrush and under my toenails.

What’s worse though is that the glitter bomb tipped off my parents to what I’d been up to--trying to coax the super-powerful orange luck I was born with to return. Truthfully, I couldn’t believe it took them so long to realize what I’d been doing. You’d think painting myself orange or sleeping on a bed of orange peels would have done it. But no, it took the glitter fiasco, specifically the sparkly orange flecks in the mashed potatoes, for them to figure it out. I should have expected as much. Dad loves his potatoes.

But now they knew, and they weren’t on board. At all. That’s why it was such a big deal when I entered the corner convenience store in search of supplies for my next luck recovery project. My stomach knew it too. Forget somersaults. We’re talking backflips, cartwheels, and handsprings so big my entire middle ached.

The door’s bell chimed, and I jerked a moment before ducking and scooting into an aisle. Weaving through rows of pet food, candy bars, and beef jerky, I made my way to the lucky charm display at the end of the far row.

Packages containing four-leaf clovers, horseshoes, rabbit’s feet, wishbones, ladybugs, and number 7s littered the rack. Perfect. Everything I needed for my super-scientific plan, aka Maggie Mangan’s Luck Recovery Project 12.0, was here.

An Agent's Inbox #1

Dear Mystery Agent,

Twelve-year-old Cassie can hear music emerge from almost every person and thing in her tiny mountain town. Old buildings creak out history, songs sizzle up while folks cook breakfast, readers flip pages to a beat at the town’s bookstore, and the winds whisper their own special sounds--and carry a little extra magic. But even with magical music, when the fireflies disappeared ten years ago, they took Firefly Mountain’s visitors, income, and hope with them. A school assignment spurs Cassie and her best friend, Bard, to more closely investigate the vanished fireflies, and she learns some secrets are stealing her town’s perseverance--and her mom’s song and joy.

As the town’s hope dwindles, its music starts to dim. The problem is, music generates more magic, but Cassie can’t figure out her own song. If only Cassie’s sound were a bold and spunky fiddle like bookstore owner Mrs. Anne’s, high energy banjo like her father’s, steady drumbeats like Bard’s, or loyal bagpipe like her dog’s, maybe then she’d be able to solve this mystery and her mom’s problems. When everyone’s pain deepens under new development plans, Cassie must uncover a family secret and find her own sound to try to set everything right again.

Complete at 33,000 words, THE SOUND INSIDE is a middle grade novel with notes of magical realism that will appeal to fans of Natalie Lloyd’s A Snicker of Magic and Cynthia Lord's A Handful of Stars.

I am a former public school teacher and an active member of SCBWI, a critique group, and have participated in Julie Hedlund's 12x12 and Tara Lazar's PiBoIdMo/Storystorm. I have multiple picture book manuscripts completed and additional middle grade projects in progress, if interested.

Kindly,
C. F.


THE SOUND INSIDE

I swing my foot across the dirt-coated path into a rock, sending it skittering ten feet to the side, like a piano player’s fingers across the keys. The rock’s song crescendos and clunks into a huge sneakered foot, which belongs to my longest (both in time and in height) friend, Bard.

“Why’d it have to be us, Bard?”

Bard shrugs. He shifts the rock with his toe until he’s satisfied with the angle, then sails the rock ahead, making me run for it.

I lunge to trap the rock under my shoe. Almost. It scoots just ahead of my toe onto three other rocks with a tap-tap-tonk like they’re clapping because I missed.

I huff and wait for Bard to catch up. “Why did we have to draw the missing fireflies as our report topic?” I shudder as I remember drawing the slip of paper off the teacher’s desk. “Scientists can’t even figure it out. So they want to put all the pressure on two kids to write a report with no answers out there? Where’s the logic in that?”

He quirks his mouth to the side and sighs. Bard doesn’t talk much. Or at all. Not since the accident three years ago. And it’s okay. When you’re best friends, you don’t always need to say everything out loud.

His always-steady beat matches his footfalls and I wish for my own song to join in. But I only hear the echoes of a whole lot of unanswered questions.

Now Accepting Entries

Update: I've now responded to every e-mail I've received as of 10:50 p.m. EDT. The contest is full, so look for those entries to go up on Wednesday morning!

I'm now accepting entries for this week's round of "An Agent's Inbox." Here's a quick refresher:

The Rules

1. To enter, your manuscript must meet two conditions: First, it must be COMPLETE, POLISHED, AND READY TO QUERY, and second, it must be in one of the genres The Agent represents (which are listed at the bottom of this post).

2. IF YOU PARTICIPATED IN LAST OCTOBER'S ROUND OF “AN AGENT’S INBOX,” please DO NOT participate in this one UNLESS YOUR HAVE A NEW MANUSCRIPT that meets the criteria listed above. If the entry slots don’t fill up by Tuesday, March 21, I may allow previous participants to enter.

3. All entries must include A QUERY and THE FIRST 250 WORDS of your manuscript/proposal. You must paste these items IN THE BODY OF YOUR E-MAIL; otherwise, I'll disqualify it.

4. THE ENTRY WINDOW OPENS AT 11:00 A.M. EDT (OR 8:00 A.M. PDT). Once the entry window opens, I'll accept the first 30 entries. I won't accept any entries sent before the entry window opens or after the first 30 slots fill up.

5. If your entry makes it in, I'll send you a confirmation e-mail with a post number. If your entry doesn't make it in, I'll still send you an e-mail, but it won't have a post number.

6. If your entry makes it in, YOU MUST COMMENT ON AT LEAST 3 OTHER ENTRIES.

The Prizes The Agent will select both the winners and the prizes. The Agent might pick 30 winners, or he or she might only pick one. The Agent might offer full requests, or he or she might only ask to see another page. It all depends on how good the entries are.

Please keep in mind that THIS CONTEST ISN'T FOR THE FAINT OF HEART. I've encouraged The Agent to treat the entries exactly as he or she would a normal batch of queries. Essentially, The Agent will be answering the question, "How much of the entry did you read, and if you didn't read it all, why did you stop?" I think this process will be instructive for all of us, but if you enter, you need to be prepared to hear exactly what The Agent thinks of your query and first page.

The Genres

MG fiction and nonfiction (all genres)
YA fiction and nonfiction (all genres)
Adult Historical
Adult Fantasy
Adult Science Fiction
Adult Mystery
Adult Thriller
Adult Horror
Adult Romance
Adult Literary Fiction
Adult Contemporary
Women's Fiction (upmarket)

To enter, please send an e-mail with YOUR QUERY and THE FIRST 250 WORDS of your manuscript to kvandolzer(at)gmail(dot)com. And please, please, please remember to PASTE THESE ITEMS IN THE BODY OF THE E-MAIL.

"An Agent's Inbox" Contest Alert

THIS IS NOT A CALL FOR ENTRIES! I'M JUST GIVING YOU A HEADS-UP. THE CONTEST OPENS NEXT MONDAY, MARCH 20.

“An Agent's Inbox” is exactly what it sounds like--next week, I'm turning the blog into an agent's inbox, a public one. We'll get to see 30 queries along with their first pages, and we'll get to hear what a bona fide agent thinks of each one.

The queries and first pages will be yours, of course. I'll accept your entries this Monday, March 20, and then I'll post them next Wednesday, March 22. The entrants and anyone else who wishes to review them may comment until the following Monday or Tuesday, March 27 or 28, when I'll announce the winners.

Those winners will be chosen by The Agent, who shall remain nameless for now.

The Rules

1. To enter, your manuscript must meet two conditions: First, it must be COMPLETE, POLISHED, AND READY TO QUERY, and second, it must be in one of the genres The Agent represents (which are listed at the bottom of this post).

2. IF YOU PARTICIPATED IN LAST OCTOBER'S ROUND OF “AN AGENT’S INBOX,” please DO NOT participate in this one UNLESS YOUR HAVE A NEW MANUSCRIPT that meets the criteria listed above. If the entry slots don’t fill up by Tuesday, March 21, I may allow previous participants to enter.

3. All entries must include A QUERY and THE FIRST 250 WORDS of your manuscript/proposal. You must paste these items IN THE BODY OF YOUR E-MAIL; otherwise, I'll disqualify it.

4. THE ENTRY WINDOW OPENS AT 11:00 A.M. EDT (OR 8:00 A.M. PDT). Once the entry window opens, I'll accept the first 30 entries. I won't accept any entries sent before the entry window opens or after the first 30 slots fill up.

5. If your entry makes it in, I'll send you a confirmation e-mail with a post number. If your entry doesn't make it in, I'll still send you an e-mail, but it won't have a post number.

6. If your entry makes it in, YOU MUST COMMENT ON AT LEAST 3 OTHER ENTRIES.

The Prizes The Agent will select both the winners and the prizes. The Agent might pick 30 winners, or he or she might only pick one. The Agent might offer full requests, or he or she might only ask to see another page. It all depends on how good the entries are.

Please keep in mind that THIS CONTEST ISN'T FOR THE FAINT OF HEART. I've encouraged The Agent to treat the entries exactly as he or she would a normal batch of queries. Essentially, The Agent will be answering the question, "How much of the entry did you read, and if you didn't read it all, why did you stop?" I think this process will be instructive for all of us, but if you enter, you need to be prepared to hear exactly what The Agent thinks of your query and first page.

So get those queries and first pages polished up, then meet us back here on Monday, March 20, at 11:00 a.m. EDT! At that time, you may send your entries to kvandolzer(at)gmail(dot)com. Looking forward to it!

The Genres

MG fiction and nonfiction (all genres)
YA fiction and nonfiction (all genres)
Adult Historical

Adult Fantasy

Adult Science Fiction

Adult Mystery

Adult Thriller

Adult Horror

Adult Romance

Adult Literary Fiction

Adult Contemporary

Women's Fiction (upmarket)

And of course, if you have any questions, feel free to leave them in the comments below!

Book Recommendations: SECRETS OF A CHARMED LIFE and A FALL OF MARIGOLDS by Susan Meissner

Several months ago, I asked the Twitterverse for women's fiction recommendations, and Ms. Meissner's SECRETS OF A CHARMED LIFE was one of the first replies I got. The summary sounded interesting--she had me at London Blitz--and the book was even better. That got me started on a Susan Meissner binge*, and I also fell in love with A FALL OF MARIGOLDS.

In present-day England, an American history major, Kendra Van Zant, goes to a cottage in the Cotswolds for a prearranged interview with a survivor of the London Blitz. The interviewee, Isabel McFarland, is a reclusive painter whose family is celebrating her ninety-third birthday later that day. After exchanging the usual pleasantries, Kendra pulls out her list of questions, but she can't bring herself to ask any of the questions on her list. So Kendra asks the question that pops into her head instead: "What would you like to tell me about the London Blitz?" Isabel smiles enigmatically, as if, after all these years, someone's finally asked the question she's been waiting to answer. "My name is not Isabel," she says, "and I am not ninety-three years old."

The book then flashes back to 1940, on the eve of the London Blitz. Most of the book takes place in the past, but it's this juxtaposition between past and present that Ms. Meissner is most known for. A FALL OF MARIGOLDS opens in a similar way, with a textile hunter, Taryn Michaels, on the tenth anniversary of September 11th. As Taryn is reintroduced to the hundred-year-old scarf that saved her life that day, we flash back to 1911 and one of the scarf's former owners, a nurse on Ellis Island who's also a survivor of the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory fire. Both women lost someone on the days that changed their lives, so both must come to terms with their survivor's guilt and grief.

Both SECRETS and MARIGOLDS are a lovely blend of history, romance, and personal growth, and I eagerly await Ms. Meissner's next book.

*As part of my binge, I also read Ms. Meissner's STARS OF SUNSET BOULEVARD. Though I didn't love it like I loved SECRETS and MARIGOLDS, it was an engaging read, especially if you're a fan of the film Gone with the Wind.

Writing for Charity

Just wanted to let everyone know that I'll be a panelist at this year's Writing for Charity! For those of you who aren't familiar with it, Writing for Charity is a one-day conference for writers and illustrators of children's books. It's organized and run by volunteers, so all the proceeds are donated to charity. Founded by Shannon Hale, it's now in its eleventh year.

I'll be participating on the Queries 101 and Middle Grade panels, which, according to the schedule, will take place at 10:30 a.m. and 2:00 p.m. MST, respectively. That said, the schedule is still in flux, so if you're planning to attend, you'll want to double-check those times before you actually show up.

If you live on or around the Wasatch Front, I hope to see you there!

Writing for Charity

March 11, 2017

9:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. MST

Utah Valley University Classroom Building

815 College Drive, Orem, UT 84058

Update: It looks like Writing for Charity has been postponed until the fall, but once the new schedule is up, I'll let you know!

I Can't Write in Third Person

Several years ago (or maybe several more than that), I saw a quote from a well-known novelist that belittled children's literature: "Anyone can write for children," this well-known novelist said, "because anyone can write in first person." (Full disclosure: the quote went something like that, and before you ask me who said it, I'll tell you that I can't remember.)

My knee-jerk reaction was one of righteous indignation: How dare said well-known novelist insult writing for kids! Kids are the only people worth writing for in the first place! But beneath the controversy, there was something sharp and true that this novelist was saying.

Writing in first person is easier than writing in third.

THE SOUND OF LIFE AND EVERYTHING and DON'T VOTE FOR ME are both written in first person. So is DON'T SOLVE THE PUZZLE and the next manuscript I wrote (which is on submission at the moment). So is Bonnie. So is this. So is almost everything I've written since I first signed with an agent.

I love writing in first person because it makes a novel so accessible. Readers can insert themselves into the story because the pronouns insert them into the story. But what I never considered until recently (read: what I never considered until I went back to writing in third person) is that writing in first person also makes the novel more accessible to the person writing it.

When you're writing in first person, your narrative voice and the main character's voice are, of course, one and the same. Even when you're writing in close third, there's some degree of separation between the main character and the narrator, and that separation has somehow changed the way I write, especially the connective tissue. Once I'm entrenched in a scene, I don't find it (as) difficult to write snappy dialogue, but it's in the connective tissue--the transitions between chapters, between sections, between scenes, and even between moments within the same scene--that your voice really shines through. I think that's the major difference between a good book and a great one. Good books have great scenes, but great books have great transitions that make you want to savor every word.

Because the narrative voice is the ONLY thing that makes connective tissue worth reading, the contrast between writing in first and third becomes sharper. In first person, you can borrow your MC's wit and personality to imbue transitions with more life, but you have more work to do when you're writing in third person. It's almost like you have to cultivate a whole other character, one who's never seen but whose voice is always heard.

I don't have it figured out. I'm working on two manuscripts right now, both of which are in third person, and the going has been slow, awkward, and more than slightly frustrating. But maybe I need to cut myself a little slack. Writing in third person is different than writing in first, and the sooner I figure that out, the sooner I might (finally!) make some progress.