Title: FACE THE MUSIC
Genre: YA
contemporary romance
Word count: 75,000
Query:
Tate's dad used
to say when words
fail, music speaks. It's
the one language she could
always hear. Not with
her ears, which hadn't
worked since birth, but
with her heart. To the
faculty at Ravenswood
Fine Arts Academy, she's a
cello prodigy. To her peers...let's
just say they don't
call her Beethoven because
they like her.
Through three years
of concerts and solos
and duels for chair
placements, Tate has always
been defined by what
she lacks instead of
what she has. But this
year is different.
This year she has Silverton.
The prospect of a
full ride to the
most prestigious music
college on the
West Coast is enough
to make the daily
torture known as
high school worth it.
She will win that
scholarship and finally
find the one place
where music overrides
her disability. All
she has to do
is practice really hard,
be nothing less than
perfect and--duet
with pianist Jared Lynch?
In a stunning
twist, Silverton decides on
a theme competition
this year, partnering
Tate with the one
boy who both frustrates
and fascinates her. Jared's
rich, he's popular, and
he's dating the she-devil
rival cellist who crowned
Tate Grand Marshal of
the freak parade. He
also has a passion
for music that she yearns
to understand and secrets
as complicated as
Prokofiev's Sinfonia Concertante.
But as they clash
over their duet--she wants
to play it safe;
he wants to risk
everything--it's clear
he has the power
to see through the
deafness Tate brandishes
like a shield.
First page:
Most of
the students at Ravenswood Fine Arts Academy knew one word in sign language.
Beethoven. It’s what they called me. And it wasn’t meant as a compliment. I was
the mad cellist, and whispers circulated about how I must have sold my soul to
be able to play cello “like that” when I couldn’t even hear the music.
It didn’t
matter that I’d earned my place at the exclusive high school instead of having
Mommy and Daddy pay my way. It only mattered that my talent was unnatural. I
was unnatural. And I did everything in my power to make sure they all continued
to think so.
My fingers slipped on the C string, bending the illusion of
perfection I tried so hard to maintain. The second movement of Dvorak’s "Cello
Concerto in B Minor" was supposed to be lyrical and romantic, and damn it all, I
couldn’t feel it under the muddled vibrations that swirled around me.
I glanced up to see Cassie, my one and only ally in
Ravenswood hell, making faces at me on the other side of the practice room
glass. I motioned her inside with a wave of my bow, and she bounced in, tossing
her black curly hair out of her eyes.
“Party at Melanie’s house tonight. You coming?”
Absolutely not.
Melanie was second chair to my first. She’d hated my guts
ever since I’d beaten her out of the top spot in the orchestra’s cello section
my freshman year.
28 comments:
Yay for #TeamKrista strings! So excited we're on the same team. I'd definitely read this!
Thanks, Michelle! Your entry caught my eye right off the bat as well! So glad we're both part of Team Krista!
As one with a master of music in flute, I am always tickled when people write stories about musicians. Good luck!
Noelle - I LOVE this. I want to pick up the book and spend the afternoon finishing it. Your query rocks and your set up in this first 250 words is amazing.
I'm in love with this premise and your writing is amazing. Go Team Krsita!
Sounds like an absolutely beautiful story. But does the mean girl's name have to be Melanie? Haha!
Ooooh, I absolutely love this. I wish I could read the rest right now!
This one has me wanting more. NOW! Good luck!
I want this book! Love the premise... it speaks to my band-geeky little heart. Go Team Krista!
I like this. I have an idea in my head that I want to start writing that has a deaf mc. Yours is the kind of story I would love to read in preparation for writing mine. Good luck.
Wow this girl has some serious odds to overcome. Great conflict and crisis!
This is so unique, I'm definitely drawn in to your MC's world right away!
Just from the query and the first page I'm finding Tate to be a compelling protagonist in a situation that promises to be full of dramatic impact. Though I'm not ordinarily a reader of contemporary romance, this is a book I would read! Go Team Krista!
Really great! You've made Tate so appealing that I want to keep reading. (Plus, I love stories with musical protagonists!).
This is so, so good. With just your query and first page you've created a character who's so sympathetic but so strong that it feels silly to feel bad for her. I think the cultured adolescent voice you've established is fantastic too. Hope to read more of this someday!
Brava! I'd buy it.
Love it. Good luck!
This character seems amazing, and I'd love to read more.
Good luck!
Your entry looks great! It's a fantastic setup, and I'm already sold on wanting to follow your MC into the story.
Oh! My heart breaks for Tate on the very first page!
And I seriously want to know whetehr she's going to that party. Spoil me in the comments? Please? :D
Good luck!!!
Just a wonderful story! Good luck!
I love this idea. It's unique. Great writing too!
Great voice! Good luck to you and much love for YA contemps!!
I love this concept – a deaf music prodigy. I remember loving this in the preliminary round. Good luck to you !
I vote for this.
I vote for you!
I vote for this too!!
#1 Face the Music
Query:
Overall, I like the query, so my comments are nitpicky.
I found the first sentence a bit awkward—I’d change it to either “Tate's dad used to say that when words fail, music speaks.” or “Tate's dad used to say, “When words fail, music speaks.”” depending on which one is more accurate. Similarly, in the final sentence, I’d put a “that” between “clear” and “he.”
In the second sentence, change “hadn’t” to “haven’t”—queries are always in present tense.
My only other comment is that it wasn’t immediately clear to me that Silverton was a college—I thought it might be a person who was helping her out, making the year suck less. Can you use the full name of the school when you introduce it, like you do with “Ravenswood Fine Arts Academy”?
First page:
First two sentences: You might change the punctuation between “languages” and “Beethoven” to a colon—I think that’d be more effective than having Beethoven be its own sentence. I was also thrown off by the word “whispers,” since that implies that Tate can hear the other students. I think it’s too early for us to assume that she’s talking metaphorically, and therefore is confusing. If she lip-reads, maybe she can see the comments on other students’ lips?
The first two paragraphs are a bit “telly” (though I like the voice). Once we slip into the scene I really like Tate’s interior monologue and the setup with her friend and the party. I’d definitely keep reading!
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