Steve's Query and First Page

I'm half excited and half nervous to share Steve's query and first page with you. Gives me a new appreciation for how you "An Agent's Inbox" entrants must feel, and this isn't even a contest!

Anyway, here they are (for the time being, at least). Feel free to leave your feedback in the comments. I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Steve's Query Twelve-year-old Ella Mae is a sensible girl. She believes in the Good Lord Jesus Christ and tunes in once a week for that new television show I Love Lucy (but only when Dragnet isn’t on). So when some egghead scientist starts spouting nonsense about deoxy-something-or-other and how he can regenerate her auntie Mildred’s long-dead son from the blood on his old dog tags, Ella Mae doesn’t believe him. Or at least she doesn’t until a man steps out of the bio-pod and drips yellow-green slime onto the floor.

Problem is, the man who steps out of that bio-pod isn’t her cousin. He’s a Japanese.

Ella Mae knows that she should hate him, but when he can’t remember his own name, she feels more pity than hate. Ella Mae gives the man a name and, like any good mama, vows to protect him from the world. She spits at the reverend for calling him an abomination and even tells off her loose-lipped cousin for trying to kiss him. But when the man’s memories resurface, memories about the war and what really happened on the day his blood splashed on her cousin’s dog tags, Ella Mae has to learn the hard way that she can’t protect him from some things.

[TITLE], complete at 52,000 words, is an MG historical with a dash of science fiction. [Agent-specific comments]

I am a BYU graduate, a stay-at-home mom, and a blogger. My blog, Mother. Write. (Repeat.), receives an average of 8,000 pageviews a month.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Steve's First Page Mama said it was plum foolishness to keep my cousin’s dog tags like that, with his blood still stuck between the ridges of his name. “Don’t know why Mildred won’t wash ’em,” Mama muttered one day while scrubbing dishes. “It’s like she thinks that blood will keep Robby alive somehow, like it’ll keep him with her. And we both know that’s plum foolishness.” She shook a soapy finger in my face. “That’s foolishness, Ella Mae, and don’t let anyone tell you any differently. Especially Auntie Mildred.”

But that was exactly what Mildred told me. “It’s not foolishness, Ella Mae,” she said one day while sweeping floors. “It’s science.” She gave the broom a flick. “And one of these days, those eggheads who invented the atomic bomb are gonna figure out how to create life instead of just destroy it.”

I never told Auntie Mildred what Mama had said, and I never told Mama what Auntie Mildred had said, either. Those two already had enough to fight about, seeing as how they were sisters and all. In fact, when Mama answered the telephone that Saturday afternoon, I figured it was Auntie Mildred calling to resume their ongoing argument about Ajax.

But I was only half right.

“Settle down, Mildred,” Mama said, since she wasn’t the sort to stand for anyone’s shenanigans (especially Auntie Mildred’s). “Now what’s this about Robby?”

I stopped chomping on my asparagus. Something told me I’d want to hear every word of this particular conversation.