Agent-Author Chat: Beth Miller and Noelle Henry

I’m thrilled to welcome Beth Miller of Writers House and one of her newest clients, Noelle Henry, to the blog. Or perhaps I should say BACK to the blog, in Ms. Henry’s case. If you were around for “The Writer’s Voice” back in May, you’ll probably recognize Ms. Henry’s query, as she and FACE THE MUSIC were on my team.

Ms. Henry didn’t end up signing with any of the agents from “The Writer’s Voice,” but she did end up catching the attention of another agent shortly thereafter. When she e-mailed me to let me know she’d signed with Ms. Miller, I knew I had to interview them both:)

Ms. Henry’s query and responses will appear in orange, Ms. Miller’s in blue. Happy reading!

Ms. Henry’s Query Tate's dad used to say, “When words fail, music speaks.” It's the one language she could always hear. Not with her ears, which haven't worked since birth, but with her heart. To the faculty at Ravenswood Fine Arts Academy, she's a cello prodigy. To her peers...let's just say they don't call her Beethoven because they like her.

Through three years of concerts and solos and duels for chair placements, Tate has always been defined by what she lacks instead of what she has. But this year is different. This year she has Silverton. The prospect of a full ride to the most prestigious music college on the West Coast is enough to make the daily torture known as high school worth it. If she wins that scholarship, she'll finally find the one place where music overrides her disability. All she has to do is practice really hard, be nothing less than perfect and--duet with pianist Jared Lynch?

In a stunning twist, Silverton decides on a theme competition this year, partnering Tate with the one boy who both frustrates and fascinates her. Jared's rich, he's popular, and he's dating the she-devil rival cellist who crowned Tate Grand Marshal of the freak parade. He also has a passion for music that she yearns to understand and secrets as complicated as Prokofiev's Sinfonia Concertante. But as they clash over their duet--she wants to play it safe; he wants to risk everything--it's clear that he has the power to see through the deafness Tate brandishes like a shield.

FACE THE MUSIC, a 75,000-word contemporary young adult romance, follows Tate Donovan and Jared Lynch as they learn about love, loss, and being true to themselves.

I have studied the violin for thirty years, and have a passion for classical music that shines through in this novel. I am also a former Romance Writers of America Golden Heart finalist in romantic suspense.

I commented on your fabulous guest post at Waterworldmermaids.com, and as per your guidelines, have pasted the first five pages below. I would be pleased to send you a partial or the completed manuscript upon request. Thank you so much for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.

KV: Ms. Henry, how did you first come up with the idea for FACE THE MUSIC?

NH: When I was in high school (a long, long time ago, LOL), there was a blind cellist in our orchestra. I was fascinated by the way she learned music--both by ear and by Braille sheet music. Her disability never kept her from doing the things she loved. She walked the halls between classes like everyone else, she tried out (and performed) in the school musicals, and she even played the piano. So, I’d have to say she was the initial catalyst for the story.

Of course, it wasn’t until many years later that I picked up my love of writing again. I started with contemporary romance and then romantic suspense and then one day, Tate started speaking to me. She said, “Everyone calls me Beethoven.” And I knew I had to find out why, even though I’d never written young adult before and was absolutely sure I didn’t have the chops to do it well. But, honestly, I had nothing to lose by giving it a go. So I did.

KV: Tell us a little bit about your query-writing process. Did you work on it here and there as you were writing the manuscript, or before, or after? How many times did you revise it? And how did you decide what order to put things in?

NH: I’ve never written a query before I’ve finished a manuscript. I always like to have the complete character arcs in place, because I know that needs to be the focus of my query.

I think I rewrote the query to FACE THE MUSIC three or four times. I wanted to start with Tate because she is the story, and because of that, I ended up writing the query in first person, hoping to really inject her voice into it. And then I entered a little contest called The Writer’s Voice (you may have heard of it!) and was picked for the amazing Team Krista (you may have heard of her too. LOL) and she helped me see that Tate’s voice could still shine through in a third person query. That query was the final version, and the one I used to attract agents.

KV: What was the hardest thing about writing your query? What was the easiest?

NH: The hardest part was probably the first line. I kept rewriting it and nothing clicked. I wanted a way for the query reader to intuitively know that Tate was deaf without me having to spell it out because I felt that Tate doesn’t really go around thinking, ‘Hey, look at me, I’m deaf.’ She was born deaf. That’s her world-view. And I really wanted that to come through in the query.

The easiest part, I think, was tackling the way Jared forced her to change the way she viewed herself. And I think that’s because it was fresh in my mind at the time.

KV: Ms. Miller, when you first read Ms. Henry’s query, what caught your attention?

BM: There were several things that caught my attention--the first is that I had just done a guest blog at Waterworld Mermaids, and she referenced that blog in her query. I had invited those who commented on the blog to query me, so that was one thing that had me reading closely.

But more importantly, I just love YA romance, and Noelle’s story touched all the right notes with me. The heroine is a cellist at a performing arts high school, and Noelle also mentioned that she herself is a violinist with a passion for classical music. And she’d included the first few pages, which were well-written and compelling. So all in all, she had a fantastic query!

KV: How quickly did you read FACE THE MUSIC? Is that pretty typical of your response times on requested material, or do those vary?

BM: I just looked back through my e-mails. It looks like it took me about a month to reply to the query, which is about right these days, unfortunately. I asked for the full manuscript, and about two weeks later I touched base to say I was reading, and then a week after that I got in touch again to say I’d loved it. In the interim, I was getting some reads from a few colleagues.

It’s hard to say what my response time is for requested material. It really depends on what’s going on at the office. Unfortunately, submissions are lower priority, coming after managing the current clients. I try to read material I’m excited about quickly, but sometimes it does take a few weeks.

KV: You ended up asking Ms. Henry for a revision before you officially signed her. How do you decide whether to request revisions or offer representation?

BM: With FACE THE MUSIC, I really loved the story and the writing, but there were a few major plot points that needed some attention. I wanted to make sure Noelle was open to doing them, first of all--which she was!--and that she was able to revise well.

KV: Obviously, the revision met--or exceeded--your expectations. What did you love about FACE THE MUSIC?

BM: It exceeded my expectations! Noelle is an author who can take revision suggestions and then put her own spin on them. She didn’t just make the changes I suggested; she also tweaked other things here and there, making an already great story even better. I loved the love story, the music, the heartbreak--and of course, the boy. :) There were moments that made me get teary-eyed. I just loved it.

KV: Ms. Henry, what tips do you have for fellow writers as they work on their queries?

NH: A query is not about plot points. Get to the heart of your story as quickly as you can. That’s what agents want to see. Show why readers should care about your characters: what they want, why they want it and why they can’t have it. Make sure those stakes are high enough! Try to find that unique element that makes your story different from everything else that’s out there and really make that element shine through in your blurb.

KV: Same question to you, Ms. Miller. What query-writing suggestions do you have?

BM: Do your research and target agents you think will make the best fit--don’t just blast your query out into the world. Be professional and courteous. Proofread your query letter. Remember that the query is the first impression of you that an agent has--if your query is poorly written or unprofessional, they aren’t likely to want to see your work.

KV: Any last words of advice or encouragement you’d like to share with us?

BM: Write a great story. Keep trying, even if you don’t succeed with your first manuscript, or even your second. Writing is a skill, and like other skills, it can be improved with practice. Read a lot, so you know what else is out there in your genre. And don’t give up!

NH: Well, I’d definitely echo Beth’s statement about not giving up. Sometimes it’s hard not to feel like you’re working so hard for nothing, but the one thing I’ve learned is that writers need to write for themselves, first and foremost. Only seeing the end goal can lead to burn out and frustration.

Ask yourself why you’re writing your book. Find a story that you’re passionate to tell. That passion will shine through in your writing, and when you believe so strongly in a book, chances are you’ll eventually find a home for it.

Thanks again, ladies, for sharing your story with us. And may I just say WOOHOO? :) Here’s hoping for a quick sale!

Gearing Up to Write a Query?

I’ve read a lot of queries. When you’ve spent as many years in the query trenches as I have, that’s just what happens. I’ve written probably two dozen drafts of queries for my own manuscripts, and I’ve done my time at sites like Absolute Write and Nathan Bransford’s forums, reading, learning, critiquing. Hosting “An Agent’s Inbox” has also exposed me to mountains of queries, and I can assure you I’ve read every single one of them. (You can thank Gmail and Blogger’s inability to preserve each other’s formatting for that.)

All of this is the roundabout way of saying I’ve had a little time to figure out what works and what doesn’t, and as I read through the “Gearing Up to Get an Agent” entries last week, one thought kept running through my head:

I don’t think these entries are as good as some of the other judges seem to think.

Now I only read the entries on my assigned blog (and as you read on, it’s going to become pretty apparent which blog that was if you followed the contest), and I really, really, REALLY don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. I only want to point out a few of the overarching problems I noticed in the hopes that, someday, somewhere, this might help someone make it through the hair-pulling, teeth-gnashing experience that is writing a query.

1. Contemporary queries, perhaps more than any others, have to showcase compelling, unique hooks. So many of the contemporary entries I read relied too heavily on a hot-button topic to draw the reader in. If you’re hoping your current, edgy subject matter will carry your query (“SUICIDE!” “ADDICTION!” “SEXUAL ORIENTATION!”), you’re probably going to be disappointed. The vast majority of the contemporary entries in this contest addressed one of these issues, so the issue in and of itself isn’t a strong enough hook. You need to do something more with it.

2. Historical queries must entrench us in their time periods and, at the same time, introduce us to timeless characters and/or problems. Historicals are tough, no doubt about it. You have around two hundred words to introduce us to a world and character we won’t immediately relate to, and yet you have to do it in such a way that we’ll see the parallels to our own lives. Most of the historical queries in this contest didn’t quite rise to this standard, at least in my opinion. I either didn’t buy the voice (because I thought it sounded too modern), or I didn’t buy the world.

3. When everything is said and done, tastes really are subjective. After I finished my first read-through, I had exactly ten entries on my short list but only felt strongly about three. I ended up crossing a few of those off and adding a few others, but one that I kept coming back to was also one that didn’t have the strongest hook. Still, I had a personal weakness for that type of story, so even though I knew it had some problems, I voted for it, anyway, and I stand by that vote. An agent may very well do the same.

Last but not least, I’ll add that there’s no one right way to write a query--and that there’s certainly no one person who has all of this figured out. So take this with a grain of salt, and keep plugging away. All the blog posts in the world won’t teach you what you’ll learn simply by giving it a try.

Ms. Marini's Winners

And here they are!

First place: #9 RIP HER TO SHREDS

RIP HER TO SHREDS wins a request for the first 50 pages!

Second place: #10 COUGARS ON THE DOCK

COUGARS ON THE DOCK wins a request for the first 40 pages!

Third place: #5 THE LOOKING-GLASS HOUSE

THE LOOKING-GLASS HOUSE wins a request for the first 30 pages!

Fourth place: #1 TEMPLE FALLS

TEMPLE FALLS wins a request for the first 20 pages!

Congratulations, winners! Please e-mail me at kvandolzer(at)gmail(dot)com for instructions on how to submit your materials.

Also, Ms. Marini wanted me to tell you that she was quite impressed with the quality of the entries on the whole. Feel free to query her via her regular query address if you feel so inclined, especially if she mentioned she'd keep reading your entry.

I'm out!

Let the Critiquing Begin!

I'm sure you all know the drill by now: Check out the entries. Leave a comment or two if you feel so inclined--or three (at least), if you're one of the entrants.

And I'm sure this goes without saying, but please keep your comments constructive (i.e., not rude or mean-spirited). If you want to think like The Agent, you might consider the question, "How much of the entry did you read, and if you didn't read it all, why did you stop?" as you leave your feedback, but we're not picky. I'm sure the entrants would love to hear whatever you have to say.

I'll announce Ms. Marini's winner or winners at the beginning of next week, either on Monday or Tuesday, as well as what they win. Until then, have at it!

P.S. Entrants, if you notice a Krista-caused typo in your entries, definitely shoot me an e-mail so I can fix it!

An Agent's Inbox #20

Dear Ms. Marini,

Becoming a witch isn’t what sixteen-year-old Hannah Slaughtery expects when she enrolls in an exclusive boarding school. Neither is fighting against monsters she doesn’t believe in.

After an aerial assault by mythical basilisks, Hannah discovers she’s one of five students that make up the next generation of Partizans, a band of supernatural warriors whose origins date back to the dawn of man. In order to stand against a ruthless and tyrannical empire of demons, Hannah must make a choice. She can refuse her calling and enter a supernatural witness protection program to save her adopted family, or overcome her fear and accept her battle-filled legacy.

Regardless of her decision, there’s one thing Hannah knows for sure: the carefree days of her youth have come to a screeching halt.

THE PARTIZANS, is a completed 74,000 word YA paranormal with series potential. I saw in an interview on the blog Shiny that you are seeking works with a fresh take on the paranormal and a fully realized world, which has been my goal with this manuscript. It meshes together several different paranormal creatures with classic mythology and will appeal to fans of the Hex Hall series.

Per the submission guideline, the first 250 words are enclosed below.

Thank you for your consideration and I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,
S.S.


THE PARTIZANS

Hannah Slaughtery’s courage faltered as the iron gate creaked open. The late afternoon light filtered through the snow-topped pine trees as she steered her car through the fence, the only thing that seperated Piaculum Academy from the rest of the world. Inching forward, something in the wind caused a shiver to ripple down her spine. It was as if the air was charged with bursts of electricity. Like something wasn’t quite right, and yet, as she continued down the drive, she felt protected for the first time in her life. Up ahead was a security checkpoint with tinted windows manned by a guard with a military haircut and aviator sunglasses. As he opened the window, Hannah noticed the faint scent of coconut sunscreen, which struck her as odd. After all, it was mid-December.

“Identification,” he said, surveying the back seat.

She fumbled for her wallet and pulled out her driver’s license, giving him a shy smile, which he didn’t return.

Hannah faced him as he confirmed the honey blonde, blue eyed girl in the picture matched the driver in front of him. He thrust the license back through the window and said, “So you’re Hannah. Huh. Not what I was expecting,”

Her ears registered disappointment, but she didn’t understand why. He certainly didn’t offer any further explanation.

“Just stay on this main road until you get to Garrett Manor. If you get lost, don’t bother using your phone. You won’t get a signal.”

And that was it.

An Agent's Inbox #19

Dear Ms. Marini,

Because of your preference for edgy YA, and also books with a supernatural bent, I think you might be interested in GHOST LIGHT.

After a heart transplant saves seventeen-year-old Natasha Bassett from the genetic disorder that killed her twin brother Nico, she adopts his lifelong goal of landing the lead in the Richard McAlister Shakespeare Program’s production of Hamlet.

The program only accepts boys, so Natasha takes off for London armed with Nico’s clothes and her survivor’s guilt. She’s banking on her broodiness to send her straight to Hamlet since she’s up against Britain’s most ebullient eighteen-year-old. Alleyn Edwards is so chipper that even his wheelchair radiates enthusiasm. Unfortunately, he’s the best actor Natasha has ever seen, and her feelings for him quickly become harder to hide than her B-cups.

Also, her brother’s spirit is trapped on the physical plane until she gets the role, and he’s willing to do anything to ensure his own return to the grave. Vengeful as he is, the ghost retains the essence of the boy Natasha desperately misses, but if she doesn’t find the strength to let go before the final cast list goes up, she and her rival/crush will become the victims of an increasingly sinister shade.

GHOST LIGHT is a dark Twelfth Night complete with boy-girl-girl love triangle. It is complete at 76,000 words.

I am a member of SCBWI and an MA/MFA candidate in children's literature at Simmons College. My blog, "Sense and Disability" chronicles my misadventures as a young woman with a disability.

Thanks for your consideration,

C.B.


GHOST LIGHT

Upon seeing loved ones appear at the Heathrow Airport arrivals gate, most people show increased excitement--shouting, jumping, tears, etc. At my approach, the bespectacled man in tweed stopped jumping around yelling, “Oi! Bassett!” He gaped like he’d seen a ghost.

In a way, he had.

The sensation of ghost-seeing didn’t have to be sparked by having an ephemeral being appear in front of you. It could come from tripping over a pair of abandoned shoes in the foyer, catching a whiff of cologne on an old coat, or reading a name printed on an official-looking letter on a Wednesday in October. I should have been desperate to escape those things. Instead, I’d charted a course that would inflict them on others.

The closer I got to my godfather, the paler he became, until his skin tone matched the crisp white paper of the acceptance letter in my bag. My luggage trolley fought to list to the left, preferring to join an Indian family reuniting at the end of the ramp. I didn’t blame it.

 

“Hi, Willis,” I said. Maybe I should have waited to make my transformation. I’d ducked into the family restroom on the way to customs to eliminate any chickening out opportunities. I’d been too focused on my own anxieties. Typical of my post-Nico mindset.

 

Next to us little girl shrieked and threw herself into her father’s arms. This snapped my godfather out of his catatonia and he held his arms out to me. “Well met, gentle Natasha.”

An Agent's Inbox #18

Dear Ms. Marini,

The day after her mother dies, shadows start stalking sixteen-year-old Talitha Martin. To start over and be safe, she must hide her biggest secret: that her body keeps turning into smoke.

Except secrets, like smoke, are impossible to contain. When emotional stress causes Talitha to shift, it’s witnessed by her new neighbour Caspar. However, instead of running away--or exposing her secret--Caspar is intrigued. His stubborn friendship is unshakable even when the shadows attack Caspar and Talitha. They’re saved not by her smoke, but by two beings forged from flame: the Ascended.

The Ascended came down to Earth to find the vessel--a reincarnated Ascended who can help them in the war against the shadows. Since Talitha’s power enables her to find and protect this human vessel, the Ascended promise to help her learn to control it, but only if she agrees to help. When Caspar’s life is linked to that of the vessel, she can’t back out of the agreement.

Now, Talitha must harness her powers fast or let the shadows win. Either way, her dreams of a normal life just went up in smoke.

OF FIRE AND SHADOW is a YA Urban Fantasy completed at 63,500 words.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,
M.K.R.


OF FIRE AND SHADOW

My mother died a week ago. Smoke inhalation, the coroner’s report said.

The problem: there was no fire.

The cause: my freakish power. Not that I could admit it, unless I wanted to become a science experiment, or thrown in jail.

I leaned against the rough brick wall of the lawyer’s office and nearly crossed my arms, except something across the road caught my eye.

The shadows across the road were oddly darker than the midday sun warranted, as if they had swallowed the very ground. Goosebumps prickled down my neck.

I stepped away from the wall, intrigued by the shadows.

Something, or someone, stood in the shadows across the street. I squinted, trying to overcome the glare of sunlight off towering office buildings. The figure swayed like branches caught in a breeze. My eyebrows furrowed as I stepped into the gutter, ignoring the cars blurring past. The shadows writhed and crept towards the buildings, the figure moving in their safety.

“Talitha?”

I spun and faced my grandma’s inquiring face. She’d finished inside the lawyer’s office--finished with the aftermath of my failure. I swallowed hard and glanced back at the shadowed trees and sidewalk. They were normal.

“Everything sorted?” I asked and shook my head to clear it. It wasn’t the first time I’d seen the writhing shadows.

She squinted at me through her round glasses. “Yes.”

Grandma thought I was too young to know about all the legal affairs involved with my guardianship. So a simple yes was the best I could’ve hoped for.

An Agent's Inbox #17

Dear Ms. Marini,

My middle grade manuscript, SILVER POOL OF LIGHT, seems to fit into the wish list on your website well. It has an element of magic and a dash of the workings of the space-time continuum.

Eve Tilton is the kind of eleven-year-old you would expect to be much more interested in shopping for her next celebrity gala than anything that happened a hundred years ago. But Eve is captivated by Jane Mayhew, who lives on Martha’s Vineyard in 1872, because Jane writes to her. In an old diary, through time. From 1872. Eve and Jane’s letter-writing and eventual friendship across a century is so, so much better than shopping for party dresses, even for a girl on the fringe of celebrity.

Their differences lie in the fact that Jane, who barely remembers her mother, has a passionate desire to sail the seven seas while Eve, who was with her mother when she drowned, has a passionate fear of the ocean. Since they live 140 years apart and communicate through letters, it doesn’t seem to be a problem until Jane is invited to go on a whaling voyage around the world, and Eve finds out, to her horror, that the ship is doomed. Eve’s focus on saving Jane is splintered when she is suddenly invited deeper into the polished world of her famous friends. The best friend Eve’s ever had is about to die, and every choice she makes seems to lead Jane to a horrible, watery fate.

SILVER POOL OF LIGHT is about the importance of true friendship, family secrets, and how we are connected to everyone around us, living or not. It is complete at 46,000 words. Comparison titles could be Bigger than a Breadbox by Laurel Snyder or When You Reach Me by Rebecca Stead. I have completed novel writing workshops at the University of Iowa, Emerson College, and SCBWI.

Best of luck to you at Gelfman Schneider and thank you for reading the contest entries.

Sincerely,
K.W.


SILVER POOL OF LIGHT

Not all attics are full of shadows, spider webs, and ugly hatboxes dotted with evidence of unwelcome creatures; those are the kind of attics where children get locked away. Some attics smell like lavender soap, are strewn with wonderful treasures, and if the right child should come in at the right moment, are full of possibilities.

The treasures in Aunt Tibby’s attic were mostly old diaries. Crooked, nearly toppling stacks of antique journals and ships’ logs covered the wooden floorboards and wide shelves, because the museum had run out of room and Aunt Tibby wasn’t about to throw them away. Heavens no.

Even if she’d wanted to, Eve Tilton, Aunt Tibby’s grandniece, would never have let her. Somewhere, in one of the piles of old leather and cloth-covered books, was a diary of particular interest to Eve. Its author was a girl also named Eve, and eleven years ago, Mama read it. Then she named her baby after this diary-writing Eve.

Eve Tilton wondered what was it about diary-writing Eve that had impressed Mama? Daddy wouldn’t say. He didn’t like to talk about Mama, ever; he said it still hurt too much. He said it was better to focus on The Now.

Aunt Tibby had forgotten which diary it was, so for months, every time she visited her great-aunt on Martha’s Vineyard, Eve searched. She scoured, explored, and rummaged around in the attic. Maybe diary-Eve would have advice on how to act when she felt too tired to be cheerful or too lonely to be kind.