An Agent's Inbox #2

Dear Victoria,

Ally Rodriguez doesn’t daydream about prom, first kisses, or midnight strolls on the beach. When skin contact has the power to immerse you in visions that will eventually strip your sanity and leave you in a world where you can’t tell flashbacks from reality, you don’t dream of being touched at all.

But Ally’s fear of touch takes a back seat when detectives discover the body of a classmate dumped in the orange groves. With no suspects or leads, the entire school is spooked and a bully decides Ally is going to be his next outlet, but testing the limits of her no-touch-attitude is the wrong move. During the struggle Ally has a vision and accidentally shoves it back into him, knocking him unconscious. When the green-eyed god of baseball, Eric Nichols, tries to break it up, he catches a glimpse of the vision and is determined to find the truth about what he saw. His new mission brings them closer than Ally imagined possible, forcing her to question everything she thought she knew about her ability, like how and why Eric can see the visions, and why they can sometimes touch without her seeing a vision at all. But when a video of Ally having a flashback lands on the cell phone of Eric’s dad, the lead detective in the murder case, he pieces together the truth and reveals a family secret in order to enlist her help in finding the killer.

All she has to do is touch the body.

Touching Darkness, a YA Mystery, is a stand-alone novel with series potential. It is complete at 80,000 words and will appeal to fans of Kimberly Derting’s The Body Finder. My Romance novella, “One Last Shot”, is contracted for an October release with Evernight Publishing.

Thank you.

Sincerely,
D.L.


TOUCHING DARKNESS

I should have kept my mouth shut. I should have sat in my chair, ducked my head, and ignored the fact that Kyle Pollard was being a complete a** for no reason…again. But there was something in the look on Shane’s face; fear was part of it, but there was more. Impotent rage. That feeling that no matter how mad Shane got, he would never be able to retaliate; a feeling I knew all too well. Girls with secrets don’t make so much as a ripple in the glassy surface of their peers’ awareness and they sure as h*** don’t make a tidal wave by mouthing off to a jerk. Shane obviously agreed that cowering in the shadows was better than bleeding in the spotlight, but the smug satisfaction in Kyle’s eyes pierced something inside me and I was on my feet before I knew what happened.

“What did you say?” Kyle asked.

Sweat erupted from my pores, but it was too late to walk away. “Why can’t you just leave people the h*** alone?” My heart threatened to explode; words continued to spew. “If you spent half as much time paying attention in class as you do harassing everyone else maybe you wouldn’t be taking this class for the third freaking time.” D*** it felt good to be on the giving end for once.

Kyle’s eyes widened then narrowed into the glare of a predator aching to pounce. His fists shook at his sides. No one so much as breathed, much less moved to intervene.

An Agent's Inbox #1

Dear Ms. Marini,

Banished from the palace after her father’s death, fourteen year old Nara is no longer a princess. Now her egomaniac cousin Roman sits on the throne as king. But Nara is the only one who can hear the Gods, and those Gods are angry. Darkness is the first plague, followed by the frogs and the flies. And the Gods are just getting warmed up.

By unraveling the cryptic clues the Gods send to her dreams, Nara thinks she knows how to stop the plagues. The Gods want a temple. Nara advises Roman to begin construction on the temple at once, and Roman commands the commoners work as laborers. While Roman enjoys massages and pedicures, Nara must continue to decipher the mysterious clues from the Gods to end the worsening plagues.

Damian is a crippled commoner, but he has a big voice and bright ideas. Despite his disability, he smarts his way onto the construction site. But Damian doesn’t believe a temple is the right solution to the worsening plague problem. The laborers grow weary and angry, and rally around Damian; the visionary with a crooked leg.

Nara must stand in Roman’s shadow while trying to save the kingdom. She misses her father, and aches for palace life again. And now Damian, a mere commoner, is challenging everything. But when Nara and Damian’s mothers fall victim to the worse plague yet, a mystery illness that puts them near death, the teens must work together before the Gods destroy everything they hold dear.

TEMPLE FALLS, a middle grade fantasy novel of 50,000 words, is told from the point of view of both Nara and Damian, appealing to girl and boy readers. The book stands alone, but has series potential. I like to think of it as a PG rated version of THE GAME OF THRONES meets THE MYSTERIOUS BENEDICT SOCIETY.

Thank you for taking the time to consider this submission. Per your guidelines, I have included the first 250 words below.

Sincerely,
E.S.


TEMPLE FALLS

Nara pushed her way through the soup of darkness. Her shoes clicked against the marble pathway towards the royal palace. Blackness covered her like a thick cloak, weighing her down; even though it was only lunch time. The absence of daylight still gave Nara the creeps. It had been like this for three weeks.

But she knew how to fix it.

And she would tell her stupid cousin, even though he hardly deserved it. Anything was better than living under a dark cloud all day, every day.

It was strange coming to the palace without her maidens and royal guardsmen. But now that Nara and her mom were no longer palace residents, the entourage was gone.

The guardsman at the palace gate, a fellow by the name of Warner who Nara had known since birth, bowed his head slightly as he pushed open the heavy iron gate letting Nara inside. “Good day, Lady Nara,” he pronounced.

Nara with a dismissive flick of her wrist said, “Day? Is that what this is? I can’t tell anymore.”

The oppressive darkness covering the kingdom of Chernadova indeed made it hard to tell day from night. For three weeks, since the death of Nara’s father, it was as if the Gods decided it would be a good idea to cover the kingdom with a large, dirty, dishrag. And every day the dishrag grew dirtier.

“Yes, my Lady. It certainly is a strange phenomenon.” Warner paused for a moment, shuffling his feet before continuing. “What do you make of this oddity?”

Now Accepting Entries

UPDATE: We're full! (Actually, we were full within the first two seconds...) I've responded to every e-mail sent before 1:50 p.m. EDT (or 10:50 a.m. PDT), so if you didn't make it in this time, do come back next month!

I’m now accepting entries for September’s round of “An Agent’s Inbox”! Here’s a quick refresher:

The Rules

1. To enter, your manuscript must meet two conditions: First, it must be COMPLETE, POLISHED, AND READY TO QUERY, and second, it must be in one of the genres The Agent represents (which are listed at the bottom of this post).

2. IF YOU PARTICIPATED IN EITHER OF THE 2012 ROUNDS OF “AN AGENT’S INBOX,” please DO NOT participate in this one UNLESS YOUR HAVE A NEW MANUSCRIPT that meets the criteria listed above. I have a pretty good memory, and I will disqualify previous entries. If the entry slots don’t fill up by Tuesday, September 18, I may allow previous participants to enter, but honestly, I don’t expect them to last that long.

3. All entries must include A QUERY and THE FIRST 250 WORDS of your manuscript. You must paste these items IN THE BODY OF YOUR E-MAIL; otherwise, I'll disqualify it.

4. THE ENTRY WINDOW OPENS AT 1:00 P.M. EDT (OR 10:00 A.M. PDT). Please note that this is A DIFFERENT TIME than normal, so plan accordingly! Once the entry window opens, I'll accept the first 20 entries. I won't accept any entries sent before the entry window opens or after the first 20 slots fill up.

5. If your entry makes it in, I'll send you a confirmation e-mail with a post number. If your entry doesn't make it in, I'll still send you an e-mail, but it won't have a post number.

6. If your entry makes it in, YOU MUST COMMENT ON AT LEAST 3 OTHER ENTRIES.

The Prizes The Agent, Victoria Marini* of Gelfman Schneider Literary Agents, Inc., will select both the winners and the prizes. She might pick 20 winners, or she might only pick one. She might offer full requests, or she might only ask to see another page. It all depends on how good the entries are.

Please keep in mind that THIS CONTEST ISN'T FOR THE FAINT OF HEART. I've encouraged The Agent to treat the entries exactly as she would a normal batch of queries. Essentially, The Agent will be answering the question, "How much of the entry did you read, and if you didn't read it all, why did you stop?" I think this process will be instructive for all of us, but if you enter, you need to be prepared to hear exactly what The Agent thinks of your query and first page.

The Genres

MG fiction (all subgenres)
YA fiction (all subgenres)

Adult fiction (all subgenres except erotica)

To enter, please send an e-mail with YOUR QUERY and THE FIRST 250 WORDS of your manuscript to kvandolzer(at)gmail(dot)com. And please, please, please remember to PASTE THESE ITEMS IN THE BODY OF THE E-MAIL.

 

*I know this probably goes without saying, but if you’re thinking about entering, you should probably treat this round a little differently than you would if you didn’t already know The Agent’s identity. Feel free to do a little research and include personalization in your queries. Also, if Ms. Marini has already rejected your query, YOU PROBABLY DON’T WANT TO ENTER UNLESS YOU’VE MADE SIGNIFICANT CHANGES TO YOUR QUERY AND/OR MANUSCRIPT. I’m not going to say you can’t enter (mostly because I have no way to police it), but you--and she--are going to get a lot more out of this contest if you enter something The Agent hasn’t seen before.

"An Agent's Inbox" Contest Alert

THIS IS NOT A CALL FOR ENTRIES! I'M JUST GIVING YOU A HEADS-UP. THE CONTEST OPENS NEXT MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 17.

“An Agent's Inbox” is exactly what it sounds like--next week, I'm turning the blog into an agent's inbox, a public one. We'll get to see 20 queries along with their first pages, and we'll get to hear what a bona fide agent thinks of each one.

The queries and first pages will be yours, of course. I'll accept your entries this Monday, September 17, and then I'll post them next Wednesday, September 19. The entrants and anyone else who wishes to review them may comment until the following Monday, September 24, when I'll announce the winners.

Those winners will be chosen by The Agent, and this month, The Agent is Victoria Marini* of Gelfman Schneider Literary Agents, Inc!

The Rules

1. To enter, your manuscript must meet two conditions: First, it must be COMPLETE, POLISHED, AND READY TO QUERY, and second, it must be in one of the genres The Agent represents (which are listed at the bottom of this post).

2. IF YOU PARTICIPATED IN EITHER OF THE PREVIOUS 2012 ROUNDS OF “AN AGENT’S INBOX,” please DO NOT participate in this one UNLESS YOUR HAVE A NEW MANUSCRIPT that meets the criteria listed above. I have a pretty good memory, and I will disqualify previous entries. If the entry slots don’t fill up by Tuesday, September 18, I may allow previous participants to enter, but honestly, I don’t expect them to last that long.

3. All entries must include A QUERY and THE FIRST 250 WORDS of your manuscript. You must paste these items IN THE BODY OF YOUR E-MAIL; otherwise, I'll disqualify it.

4. THE ENTRY WINDOW OPENS AT 1:00 P.M. EDT (OR 10:00 A.M. PDT). Please note that this is A DIFFERENT TIME than normal, so plan accordingly! Once the entry window opens, I'll accept the first 20 entries. I won't accept any entries sent before the entry window opens or after the first 20 slots fill up.

5. If your entry makes it in, I'll send you a confirmation e-mail with a post number. If your entry doesn't make it in, I'll still send you an e-mail, but it won't have a post number.

6. If your entry makes it in, YOU MUST COMMENT ON AT LEAST 3 OTHER ENTRIES.

The Prizes The Agent will select both the winners and the prizes. The Agent might pick 20 winners, or she might only pick one. The Agent might offer full requests, or she might only ask to see another page. It all depends on how good the entries are.

Please keep in mind that THIS CONTEST ISN'T FOR THE FAINT OF HEART. I've encouraged The Agent to treat the entries exactly as she would a normal batch of queries. Essentially, The Agent will be answering the question, "How much of the entry did you read, and if you didn't read it all, why did you stop?" I think this process will be instructive for all of us, but if you enter, you need to be prepared to hear exactly what The Agent thinks of your query and first page.

So get those queries and first pages polished up, then meet us back here on Monday, September 17, at 1:00 p.m. EDT! At that time, you may send your entries to kvandolzer(at)gmail(dot)com. Looking forward to it!

The Genres

MG fiction (all subgenres)
YA fiction (all subgenres)
Adult fiction (all subgenres except erotica)

If you have any questions, feel free to leave them in the comments below!

*I know this probably goes without saying, but if you’re thinking about entering, you should probably treat this round a little differently than you would if you didn’t already know The Agent’s identity. Feel free to do a little research and include personalization in your queries. Also, if Ms. Marini has already rejected your query, YOU PROBABLY DON’T WANT TO ENTER UNLESS YOU’VE MADE SIGNIFICANT CHANGES TO YOUR QUERY AND/OR MANUSCRIPT. I’m not going to say you can’t enter (mostly because I have no way to police it), but you--and she--are going to get a lot more out of this contest if you enter something The Agent hasn’t seen before.

Thoughts on the US Open

If you follow me on Twitter, you might have noticed I'm a tennis fan. I stumbled onto Wimbledon while channel-surfing one lazy summer day right before I started high school, and I've been hooked ever since. (Wimbledon remains my favorite tournament, just in case you were wondering.)

On Monday, Andy Murray won the US Open, defeating Novak Djokovic in five grueling sets, and he won it in grand fashion. It's the first Grand Slam he's EVER won, even though he played in his first final back in 2008. And not only is he the first British man to win a Major title in more than seventy years, but he's also the first man EVER to win Olympic gold and the US Open in the same summer.

I had a feeling this US Open was going to be Andy Murray's breakthrough tournament, and he didn't disappoint. Murray's path to the championship match wasn't nearly as smooth as Djokovic's (he dropped multiple sets against multiple opponents), but in the end, he pulled it out. And he taught me a few things about writing along the way:

1. Murray's semifinal match was a tricky, less-than-ideal affair, but I'd go so far as to say that it was the adversity he faced that day that gave him the experience he needed later. It was easily the windiest match I've ever seen, but Murray managed the wind and even figured out how to use it to his advantage. When he faced Djokovic on Monday, the wind was a factor again, and Djokovic, who just a year ago won three Major titles and went on a forty-three-match winning streak, looked much less certain on the court. Murray had already taken on the wind and won, and that gave him the confidence to take it on again. In short, he took what might have been a setback and turned it into a stepping stone.

2. Murray was simply hungrier than Djokovic, and it showed. For years, sports writers have criticized Murray for choking, for not getting the job done when it counted, for not standing up to the one-two-three punch that is Roger Federer, Rafael Nadal, and Novak Djokovic (at least two of whom will probably go down in history as some of the best, if not THE best, men ever to play the game of tennis). But not so on Monday. Murray looked like a man balancing on the razor's edge between surgical precision and reckless abandon. He looked like a man playing for his life.

And in a way, he was. His tennis life, at least.

I want to write like that. I want to LIVE like that. And I never want to look back.

RUMP Winner!

A huge thank-you to everyone who entered and everyone who helped spread the word. Alas, I only have one ARC, but RUMP's release is only seven months ago, and in the publishing world, that's practically tomorrow:)

Anyway, the winner is Christine Sarmel!

Christine, please e-mail me at kvandolzer(at)gmail(dot)com so I can get your address. I'll get that ARC off to you as quickly as possible!

Lastly (but certainly not leastly), check out Liesl's latest blog post in honor of September 11th. You can also check out the September 11th post I wrote three years ago when I first started blogging. May you have a thoughtful, reflective day.

From Submission to Offer with Shauna Fay Rossano

A couple of months ago, I got a hankering to interview an editor. You know how much I like interviews, and it occurred to me that a lot of writers, even a lot of agented ones, don’t really know what happens after an editor receives a submission. It took me a few weeks to work up the courage to ask Kate to set me up (since editors’ e-mail addresses are virtually impossible to find online, and for good reason), but once I did, she graciously agreed (of course). And Shauna Fay Rossano of G.P. Putnam’s Sons/Penguin Group graciously accepted.

To make things more interesting, I asked my questions in the context of a manuscript she recently acquired, Wesley King’s THE VINDICO (which you may remember from my interview with Brianne Johnson). Ms. Rossano acquired it about two years ago, so we are flashing back a bit, but somehow, I don’t think you’ll mind. Enjoy!

KV: First off, tell us a bit about THE VINDICO. What is it about, and what did you love about it?

SR: THE VINDICO is an action/adventure YA novel about a group of super villains who are starting to feel too old to fight the League of Heroes, so they decide to kidnap five teenagers and teach them to be the next generation of evil. The captured teens are each taught a specific super-power--from super-strength, to telekinesis, to advanced computer hacking skills. While at first the decision to escape at any cost seems like a no-brainer, the teens soon question which side of the war they should fight for. Brianne Johnson, Wesley’s agent, first pitched the project as “X-Men meets the Breakfast Club,” which is an amazingly perfect description that I’ve clung to and used in selling copy as the book has evolved!

What I immediately loved about Wesley’s writing was that it didn’t take itself too seriously--he has a very dark sense of humor that is pitch-perfect for this type of story. While the plot is about super heroes, I felt immediately invested in the story because the characters are so complex--you don’t just have to be a super hero fan to like the book. Also, pacing is extremely important to me (I get bored easily if a book is not moving at a fast-enough clip!), and Wesley’s scenes unfold like they were written for a movie. Fast-paced battle scenes, punchy/authentic teen dialogue, and sarcastic humor all make this such a fun read!

KV: Jumping in to say I finished THE VINDICO a couple of weeks ago, and the cinematic nature of the story immediately struck me. I thought so many of the scenes would work ever better in a summer blockbuster; I wanted to see them on the big screen! But I digress…

How quickly did you read Mr. King’s manuscript? Is that pretty typical of your response times on agented submissions, or do those vary?

SR: Uncharacteristic of my slow-paced reading, I read this manuscript in one sitting! I was home sick from work that day and could not put it down.

This is NOT typical of my response time. While I try my hardest to get to things quickly, I often take at least a month (or two if things are particularly busy) to respond to agented submissions. Unless I really Love Love something--but even then, it’s often at least a week (see: “slow-paced reading” above).

KV: After you finished THE VINDICO, did you pass it on to a colleague for a second read?

SR: Initially, Brianne had sent this project to Putnam's publisher, Jen Besser, who offered to let me read it first. I was intrigued by the premise since I do like comic book adventure movies, etc., but I was also a little skeptical because I am not a comic super-fan. But as I said above, I really connected to the voice and humor in Wesley's writing right away, so after reading, I told Jen how great it was--and after reading herself, she agreed! She knew how much I loved it and suggested I take the project on to edit myself. And I'm so grateful to her for that!

KV: How did you prepare to bring THE VINDICO to your acquisitions meeting/editorial board?

SR: We are pretty lucky at Penguin: each imprint handles its own acquisitions. It varies slightly each time--if a project looks like it will go to auction, we’ll all move very quickly to read it. But if there seems to be more time and a Putnam editor loves a manuscript, she’ll send it out to discuss at our weekly department meeting.

It’s on a much smaller scale than some of the other large companies, I think (there are only six of us, total). I really like our system, and imagine it’s much less intimidating than presenting a project in front of a formal board, but I started my career at Putnam, so I’ve never experienced it any other way!

KV: What happened at that meeting? And what might have happened? What are all the possible outcomes?

SR: Luckily, when other editors in the department read this manuscript, they felt the same way I did, and could see potential in this young writer.

The outcome of these meetings can go several ways, but we always have great discussions. If everyone in the group has problems with a manuscript, the editor will go back to the agent/author for a revision. Or, if the editor was on the fence about it to begin with and everyone else had issues as well, she might decide not to offer on the project at all. We all have slightly different tastes at Putnam, which is great, because we can offer each other valuable feedback--everything from validation of our own love for a manuscript, to valid concerns about something that we might have missed. It’s so important to get other opinions!

KV: How did you present your offer to Mr. King’s agent, and what was that conversation like?

SR: I think this project (and process) was particularly special to both of us, because it was my first acquisition and her first sale! So we were both very excited, enthusiastic, probably nervous (I was, at least!).

I know some editors prefer to offer over the phone, but I actually e-mailed Brianne the offer--I find it easier to have a written trail while negotiating. I think the first time we spoke on the phone was right after we came to an agreement, and we were both so thrilled to get to work together with Wesley. We’re probably his two biggest cheerleaders!

KV: Of course, making the offer wasn’t the end of the road. What sorts of things did you and Mr. King’s agent discuss before everyone signed the contract?

SR: An agent’s not doing their job if they don’t come back with a few retorts/sticking points during the negotiations, but Brianne was lovely to work with. We went back and forth on a few things (like territories, royalty splits, subsidiary rights percentages, etc.), and came to an agreement that worked for both parties.

KV: Any last words of advice or encouragement you’d like to share with us?

SR: Again, every publishing company’s acquisition process is unique, but we are all looking for the same thing: a great manuscript! When an editor loves a manuscript, they become cheerleaders almost immediately--whether it’s telling other editors in their department or a larger acquisition board about their love for something they’ve read. Luckily, every editor is different, so if someone is not interested in your project, that doesn’t mean there is not another editor out there who will love it!

Thank you, Ms. Rossano, for sharing THE VINDICO and your editor’s-eye view with us! And thank you for reminding us how subjective this business is. It’s easy to lose sight of that.

As you may have surmised, THE VINDICO came out a couple of months ago, so definitely give it a look-see. (I think it would especially appeal to any reluctant and/or male readers in your life.) Its sequel, THE FEROS, is due out next summer, so make sure to mark your calendars!

Have a great weekend!

(Work-in-) Progress Reports: Bonnie and Clyde

Word count (to the nearest thousand): 41,000 for Bonnie, 45,000 for Clyde
Status: Bouncing back to Bonnie after wrapping up Clyde’s latest draft
Attitude: Meh

Here’s how my month went down: I added almost 30,000 words to Bonnie in the first few weeks of August, then turned my attention back to Clyde once my readers’ notes came in. They gave me some great big-picture stuff to fix, so I spent about a week and a half working through their suggestions. Since I was a little ahead of schedule, I thought I’d give the manuscript one last read-through and start cleaning up the prose.

Worst. Idea. Ever.

I don’t know why I think that last read-through will make me like the story more, because it never does. Nothing short of silky smoothness will satisfy me when it comes to wordsmithing, and that’s a hard standard to meet over the course of an entire manuscript. Mind you, no manuscript--and not even any published book--is perfect, but I usually feel pretty good about ninety-five percent of the sentences by the time I’m finally done.

Clyde’s hovering somewhere around fifty percent at the moment. Yuck.

Anyway, I’m trying not to think about it while I wait to hear back from Amy and Jeni (and Kelly, too, of course!). Instead, I’m devoting all my subconscious thought to Bonnie. I wasn’t quite sure where to go with her a few weeks ago, but now the gears are churning again. I’ve already had a few ideas that should give me more to write, so that’s something, at least.

How are things going for you?