tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4250988928163509961.post7571439611295935482..comments2024-02-27T03:36:20.256-07:00Comments on Krista Van Dolzer: An Agent's Inbox #7Krista Van Dolzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08830193414560232842noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4250988928163509961.post-50835475390059042012016-09-18T10:50:28.734-06:002016-09-18T10:50:28.734-06:00PS said, Thank you Jennifer Johnson-Blalock. I a...PS said, Thank you Jennifer Johnson-Blalock. I appreciate your valuable input. I'm already figuring out ways to remove 30,000 words from my story.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4250988928163509961.post-72922256783331412772016-09-15T08:44:32.496-06:002016-09-15T08:44:32.496-06:00Thanks for your query, P.S.! Australia is such an ...Thanks for your query, P.S.! Australia is such an intriguing hook, and it sounds like your story is full of adventure. Your query could be twice as long, though, so use that space, and give me more specifics. Tell me about Dingo's personality, whether he has any friends, what his mom's boyfriend is doing wrong, whether he's still in contact with his dad, what clues suggested the thieves, what kind of danger he gets into. Specific is far better than general in a query letter. Apply the same principles to your opening lines--don't start with the big backstory; start with the specific moment. Finally, 79,000 is far too long for middle grade. Upper MG could maybe go into the 50s, but I think 40s would be far better here. Jennifer Johnson-Blalockhttp://www.jjohnsonblalock.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4250988928163509961.post-79799604186510733052016-09-14T14:31:49.510-06:002016-09-14T14:31:49.510-06:00Hi P.S.,
Your story sounds like a great adventure...Hi P.S.,<br /><br />Your story sounds like a great adventure! I also really like your first 250!<br /><br />In the 2nd paragraph of your query, it reads more bulleted, instead of a letter. You have room to give the agent a little more detail instead of jumping from point to point.<br /><br />Maybe you could tell us:<br />What does he do to earn money (if this is important to the story)<br />Why does he buy a ticket for his dad?<br />What's one way he matches wits with the suspects?<br /><br />Also, 79,000 is a lot for MG. But Harry Potter is that long so you're in good company. :)<br /><br />Good luck!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06503578141423770006noreply@blogger.com