tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4250988928163509961.post631337458233878650..comments2024-02-27T03:36:20.256-07:00Comments on Krista Van Dolzer: An Agent's Inbox #15Krista Van Dolzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08830193414560232842noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4250988928163509961.post-79019892533730201782013-11-11T09:38:14.614-07:002013-11-11T09:38:14.614-07:00I like this blend of imaginary friend / ghost stor...I like this blend of imaginary friend / ghost story, and the writing is strong. Someone above mentioned you've been really working on your craft, and that's so clear here!<br /><br />That said, to me, this concept does feel a bit familiar. The imaginary friend element adds something new, but there are so many afterlife stories on the market, and on submission, I worry editors will be reluctant to take on another. "Paranormal" is such a dirty word these days, fairly or not, and I worry this project might be lumped in with others in that genre.<br /><br />-J<br /><br />John C.http://greenhouseliterary.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4250988928163509961.post-76133368455400516562013-11-08T09:14:14.686-07:002013-11-08T09:14:14.686-07:00Hi, everyone. Thank you so much for your encouragi...Hi, everyone. Thank you so much for your encouraging (and enthusiastic!) feedback. I appreciate the support and the tips for what can make the opening stronger.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4250988928163509961.post-77195238979830946822013-11-08T09:00:50.801-07:002013-11-08T09:00:50.801-07:00The concept is interesting and once I started read...The concept is interesting and once I started reading I wanted to read more. The story flowed. J.P.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4250988928163509961.post-46584556881869827772013-11-08T06:04:48.886-07:002013-11-08T06:04:48.886-07:00Love the simple rules of summer turning dark...ver...Love the simple rules of summer turning dark...very strong writing. I would buy this book!Christy Baker Knighthttp://www.fieldandstudio.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4250988928163509961.post-42891661226477816392013-11-07T13:22:03.265-07:002013-11-07T13:22:03.265-07:00Both your query and first page are really good. My...Both your query and first page are really good. My only suggestion is in the first 250 it gets dropped on the reader that she is an imaginary right at the onset, and there's really no explanation as to why she became imaginary instead of going to heaven. Initially that's where my mind went, "why did she become imaginary?" but you quickly go into Luca being almost 18 and having bathroom duty. It's fine, but maybe something to look into.<br /><br />This concept is awesome and super unique!Jessi Esparzahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18008518630598915857noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4250988928163509961.post-52932591976802197182013-11-06T11:21:01.684-07:002013-11-06T11:21:01.684-07:00LOVE the concept. Your query had me anxious for mo...LOVE the concept. Your query had me anxious for more. I was a bit disappointed at the beginning of the MS that we didn't get a sense of who Luca is. It seemed to jump into the issue so quickly - maybe a quick set up of who she is so we can get to know her before all the conflict??? Anyway... great job. I think you have a strong product here.<br />Cindy Williams Schraubenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09467495915201606362noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4250988928163509961.post-82814562829822180832013-11-06T11:05:15.063-07:002013-11-06T11:05:15.063-07:00Spectacular first paragraph in your excerpt. Good ...Spectacular first paragraph in your excerpt. Good query, too.<br /><br />A creative concept, reminiscent of "Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends." It's a little boggling to know that imaginary friends need toilets.<br /><br />"Legal age" and the YA designation tell us she's almost 18 at the time of the story, but you might want to emphasize this slightly earlier because at first reading it seemed like you had a young child "hauling a**."Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4250988928163509961.post-65856539529648880172013-11-06T10:54:02.866-07:002013-11-06T10:54:02.866-07:00Great concept. I liked paragraph one of your 250, ...Great concept. I liked paragraph one of your 250, but paragraph two covered a lot of ground in a summary. The Council of Imaginaries is such a cool idea for a fantasy novel.Author Amokhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13636391982938592789noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4250988928163509961.post-71481540112182176292013-11-06T10:19:22.018-07:002013-11-06T10:19:22.018-07:00It is interesting how you can see the difference b...It is interesting how you can see the difference between a writer who is just starting out and learning how to write and finding their voice vs. a writer who has been at it for a while. S.C., it is clear you have been working on your craft. This query is clean and refined, I had trouble finding fault in it. And the first 250 draws me in immediately, especially that opening line--what a great hook! Love how you develop the setting whilst the character is in action. I don't like books that take me out of the story to over describe the setting, it should flow with the story, which is what you do (good job). Only recommendation, loose the word a** from the beginning of the book. Maybe okay later to slide in a curse word for realism, but I'd avoid it in the first few chapters so as not to turn off any people apposed to seeing such words. Otherwise, freak'n awesome job!!! Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4250988928163509961.post-72813620246512089382013-11-06T09:46:31.084-07:002013-11-06T09:46:31.084-07:00You did a great job with this! I love, love the i...You did a great job with this! I love, love the idea and your query made me want to read the book immediately. Your first paragraph is amazing! Great job and good luck!Creel Familyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15029252970974284330noreply@blogger.com