tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4250988928163509961.post5013451137125359663..comments2024-02-27T03:36:20.256-07:00Comments on Krista Van Dolzer: An Agent's Inbox #17Krista Van Dolzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08830193414560232842noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4250988928163509961.post-32020478349606798732012-09-20T14:13:16.683-06:002012-09-20T14:13:16.683-06:00I love this concept, and I'm intrigued by the ...I love this concept, and I'm intrigued by the dueling themes of intimacy and celebrity. I think that could make for a wonderful character transformation. Not to mention the whole same-place-150-years-apart-pen-pals thing. <br /><br />As the others have suggested, I think the focus here should be less on surrounding, setting, and back-story and more on action: digging through the boxes, searching for that specific journal she needs etc., while peppering with back-story.Victoria Marininoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4250988928163509961.post-10687826476825921332012-09-20T11:50:43.994-06:002012-09-20T11:50:43.994-06:00Wow! Great concept. I think the writing is beautif...Wow! Great concept. I think the writing is beautiful but instead of telling us about the attic maybe you should show Eve in the attic like the others suggested. I also agree with showing action and then sneaking backstory in. Great job!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03335427276116292574noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4250988928163509961.post-41014259126501913172012-09-19T22:22:58.046-06:002012-09-19T22:22:58.046-06:00What a great idea! I love time-bending books and I...What a great idea! I love time-bending books and I love the contrast between one that wants to travel and the other that is horrified of water. I agree with Janice that the narrator telling us what's happening is a lot more "picture book" whereas I want to see this girl right away and let that backstory sneak past me.<br />While the query was super intriguing to me, it seemed a little formal and wordy. Could you infuse a little of Eve's personality into it?<br />Evidence of unwelcome creatures. Ha!Ryanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17789434379917863100noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4250988928163509961.post-56321821995503849032012-09-19T11:12:48.494-06:002012-09-19T11:12:48.494-06:00I love your premise. On the 250, I'd suggest ...I love your premise. On the 250, I'd suggest leaving out the description of the attic and show Eve digging through boxes. This is exactly the kind of book I would love to buy for my daughter (and then steal while she's in school.)Janice Sperryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00178805752960449557noreply@blogger.com