tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4250988928163509961.post4978012001329030370..comments2024-02-27T03:36:20.256-07:00Comments on Krista Van Dolzer: An Agent's Inbox #14Krista Van Dolzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08830193414560232842noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4250988928163509961.post-75444716456981583682011-11-20T12:20:44.677-07:002011-11-20T12:20:44.677-07:00This concept sounds unique, but I unfortunately ju...This concept sounds unique, but I unfortunately just didn’t connect with it. The query itself is well-written and well-paced, but it didn’t click for me. Part of the reason, I think, is that it’s described as light YA, but seems more like a sci-fi fantasy so I’m a little thrown off regarding setup/genre. I wish I had more feedback here, but regretfully this is just one that’s not a fit for me. <br />Thank you for participating in this Agent’s Inbox!<br />Taylor Martindale<br />Full Circle LiteraryTaylor Martindalehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17927088375331596378noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4250988928163509961.post-73394715291011763602011-11-17T12:59:31.404-07:002011-11-17T12:59:31.404-07:00Very fun, and I'd love to read on. I love hack...Very fun, and I'd love to read on. I love hackers, twins, and romantic mistaken identities, so I'm hooked. :)<br /><br />I do agree with Melissa about the length. Try maybe telling us about Sara, meeting Elira, their connection, Elira's death, then what Sara has to learn and why? Just a thought.<br /><br />Good luck!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09413777557796110450noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4250988928163509961.post-21250905952103818282011-11-16T19:49:18.774-07:002011-11-16T19:49:18.774-07:00Well, I had a nice long post and then blogger ate ...Well, I had a nice long post and then blogger ate it. Here's the short version:<br /><br />It's a strong query but I think there's a bit too much going on. Can you streamline it a bit?<br /><br />As for the opening, I really liked it. The query talks about intergalactic rebellion, alternate selves and portals, but you immediately ground us in the everyday world and make your character relateable. Maybe it's because I'm a big sister and I'm still protective of my li'l bro, even after all these years, but in 250 words you made me love your main character, and that's powerful stuff.Melissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11886151771194369513noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4250988928163509961.post-78691854381691574702011-11-16T14:25:00.180-07:002011-11-16T14:25:00.180-07:00I hate to be the bearer of awful news (things like...I hate to be the bearer of awful news (things like this always have me in tears), but have you seen THE ONE with Jet Li? The premise is very similar to this story:<br /><br /><i>A sheriff's deputy fights an alternate universe version of himself who grows stronger with each alternate self he kills.</i> (From IMDb)<br /><br />Sorry :( Is it different enough from your novel, do you think?Tamarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16466014613515065083noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4250988928163509961.post-85082593815588991302011-11-16T10:03:34.320-07:002011-11-16T10:03:34.320-07:00This is a very interesting and unique premise! I t...This is a very interesting and unique premise! I think you do a good job laying it out in your query. One thing that you could do is to explain why it is that Sara's alternate selves are important relative to those of other people (assuming that doesn't give away too much of the plot). <br /><br />I like the way you introduce Sara's personality in the 250. I can tell you had a lot of fun writing her perspective.<br /><br />Good job! <br /><br />--B.C. (#18)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4250988928163509961.post-36536479359980499322011-11-16T09:24:30.984-07:002011-11-16T09:24:30.984-07:00I've never been a fan of science fiction but a...I've never been a fan of science fiction but after reading your query I'm intrigued. It is an interesting premise and something that I would read. You don't overwhelm with too much information. You get to the point. <br /><br />And after reading your first 250 words I would definitely keep reading.Theresahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10957479478228268972noreply@blogger.com