tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4250988928163509961.post3616848669472585525..comments2024-02-27T03:36:20.256-07:00Comments on Krista Van Dolzer: An Agent's Inbox #7Krista Van Dolzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08830193414560232842noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4250988928163509961.post-39183989119635604202013-08-23T15:32:42.743-06:002013-08-23T15:32:42.743-06:00“When he hid in a tree as his father was captured ...“When he hid in a tree as his father was captured by the fierce race of Wargals, his feeling of failure is compounded.” I feel there is a tense issue here. Either “When he hid in a tree as his father was captured by the fierce race of Wargals, his feeling of failure was compounded” or “When hiding in a tree as his father was captured by the fierce race of Wargals, Jaden’s feeling of failure is compounded.”<br /><br />“all of which give me a platform to help market my writing.” Smart note to add!<br /><br />Good luck and happy writing! <br />S.A. Turnbullhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02977754661793048133noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4250988928163509961.post-82724927539459156512013-08-23T15:31:16.557-06:002013-08-23T15:31:16.557-06:00What a neat world! I want an elements books and tu...What a neat world! I want an elements books and tutoring in runes! The query description was a great length too. Just enough to pique my interest and make me want to read the sample pages--exactly what a query is supposed to do. <br /><br />I did enjoy the sample pages, but I would have preferred they start with a great live scene. Don't feel compelled to set anything up in the opening of a book--rather, treat your readers like we already know your character and his world. Drop us into the live scene the you begin at the end of your sample pages and work in the necessary info naturally through the narrative, as needed. I really enjoyed your character and his world and would want to keep reading!Agent Sara Sciutonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4250988928163509961.post-46703972188129204032013-08-22T09:31:35.423-06:002013-08-22T09:31:35.423-06:00Yes, the reluctant hero!
You set up the start, t...Yes, the reluctant hero! <br />You set up the start, the mood, that this hero will stall and have to "change" somehow to fulfill his position as " the Guardian of Sudner". Sounds like a fun read. You mention humor...any way you can add some of that in the query? <br />Best of Luck! :)K. L. Hallamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05672153195378644215noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4250988928163509961.post-37990416967566355672013-08-21T20:32:13.875-06:002013-08-21T20:32:13.875-06:00I do love a MC that loves to read. This sounds lik...I do love a MC that loves to read. This sounds like a great story.<br /><br />As for the query, I found it pretty straight to the point so that makes it a tight, fast read. There appeared to be a slight change from past to present tense that gave me pause but otherwise, very enjoyable.<br /><br />I got the feeling your 250 really started with the second paragraph, but that is just a personal note. It started nicely giving the reader a hint to the world the MC resides and some of the "interesting characters" he has to deal with.<br /><br />I wish you the best with this as it really sounds intriguing :-)Angela Brownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03324366495151363782noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4250988928163509961.post-27218449568127368012013-08-21T10:31:52.544-06:002013-08-21T10:31:52.544-06:00Nice! The reluctant hero. :D
Good luck!Nice! The reluctant hero. :D<br />Good luck!Andrewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02115544398840204484noreply@blogger.com