tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4250988928163509961.post1886517641238777480..comments2024-02-27T03:36:20.256-07:00Comments on Krista Van Dolzer: An Agent's Inbox #35Krista Van Dolzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08830193414560232842noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4250988928163509961.post-4298260037007066972011-09-30T12:59:43.919-06:002011-09-30T12:59:43.919-06:00This is an interesting premise, and definitely a v...This is an interesting premise, and definitely a very strong query. The question that I would personally have when considering this is the feasibility of taking a real-life historical figure and shaping his life in different directions from the norm. To me, the juxtaposition of a young Shakespeare in the modern day doesn't completely work; but it might well be that others think differently.The Agentnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4250988928163509961.post-20070659892170132302011-09-30T07:28:18.266-06:002011-09-30T07:28:18.266-06:00There's so much I like about this: the title,...There's so much I like about this: the title, the voice, the premise and--oh yeah--the writing! :) <br />Seriously, I think you've done an awesome job nailing the middle grade voice while coming up with a unique and fun plot. Also, I have total query envy! We know exactly what Jared wants and what he's willing to do to get it. And, it's just plain funny.<br />Great job...I can't wait to read more!gretchenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07168728545459091551noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4250988928163509961.post-69101832474183553782011-09-29T09:47:28.344-06:002011-09-29T09:47:28.344-06:00I'd love to keep reading this!I'd love to keep reading this!Karen Denisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15154015690643682525noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4250988928163509961.post-24628649887076462832011-09-28T21:03:57.742-06:002011-09-28T21:03:57.742-06:00In terms of feedback, I agree with everything Kris...In terms of feedback, I agree with everything Krista V. said above. I really love your title and query! Sounds like a fun, fantastic book!Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14121018905141253640noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4250988928163509961.post-19357794116505878322011-09-28T15:50:42.498-06:002011-09-28T15:50:42.498-06:00Whoops, thanks MarcyKate! I was so excited about e...Whoops, thanks MarcyKate! I was so excited about entering Krista's contest that I just sent her the "pitch" part of the query letter. It actually does start with "Dear + the agent's name" and then the housekeeping (MG time-travel adventure, 36,000 words!)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4250988928163509961.post-49967619926138139062011-09-28T15:29:21.050-06:002011-09-28T15:29:21.050-06:00Love this!
On the Query: You give great voice. It...Love this!<br /><br />On the Query: You give great voice. It definitely makes me want to read it. however, you're missing a few important bits - the genre/age group (I'm guessing MG sci-fi, but you need to specify that) and the word count. Otherwise, AWESOME.<br /><br />On the Opening: The main issue I had is that the first half of the page is back story. We don't know where Jared is and what he is doing now, just that he's giving us information about the ghost. I'd suggest combining the third paragraph and your first one, so that the reader will be grounded in the scene first.MarcyKatehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08303670174583471227noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4250988928163509961.post-41199847896542525102011-09-28T15:01:48.923-06:002011-09-28T15:01:48.923-06:00Love the query. It's fun and, like the others ...Love the query. It's fun and, like the others said, the premise is fantastic.Lori M. Leehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04858438789496971734noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4250988928163509961.post-80974414517522583332011-09-28T14:34:05.890-06:002011-09-28T14:34:05.890-06:00I just wanted to say, while I was formatting/posti...I just wanted to say, while I was formatting/posting all the entries, this was one of the few that I remembered when I was done. I love the tone of the query, and like Roxanne pointed out, I think the concept is stellar.<br /><br />The first page didn't quite deliver for me - I wasn't completely sold on making the manuscript seem like a ghost story, then pulling the old bait-and-switch - but the query was strong enough that, if I were an agent, I'd definitely request some pages:)Krista Van Dolzerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08830193414560232842noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4250988928163509961.post-89995415460778983482011-09-28T12:36:20.468-06:002011-09-28T12:36:20.468-06:00I think this is the neatest premise. Maybe it'...I think this is the neatest premise. Maybe it's the English teacher in me....It reminds me a little of Bill and Ted (showing my age) in a good way. I liked the query. I don't really read middle grade fiction, but this is the kind of book I would want my middle grader to read. :) It would be fun as a teacher to pair it with an introduction to Shakespeare.Roxannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07658908428084914909noreply@blogger.com