tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4250988928163509961.post1520700843808022446..comments2024-02-27T03:36:20.256-07:00Comments on Krista Van Dolzer: An Agent's Inbox #20Krista Van Dolzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08830193414560232842noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4250988928163509961.post-91140215767055102672016-10-28T15:05:32.459-06:002016-10-28T15:05:32.459-06:00I really enjoyed this one! The opening felt a bit ...I really enjoyed this one! The opening felt a bit bumpy, voice-wise, but that may have just been the way she breaks the fourth wall. I would definitely keep reading, and loved what I read so far!Suzanne Warrhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15141459404743769260noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4250988928163509961.post-56305786043700324142016-10-27T23:18:13.725-06:002016-10-27T23:18:13.725-06:00I love this and think it will be a great read! The...I love this and think it will be a great read! The query is really succinct and intriguing- I love the opening line. My only suggestion would be to cut the first 4 lines of the actual book. The "Let me tell you a story..." thing is overdone and pulls me from a story. Just start me in the action! The line right after is a strong starter anyways. :) Brianne Zwambagnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4250988928163509961.post-63237817435649244552016-10-27T19:14:49.232-06:002016-10-27T19:14:49.232-06:00Thank you all so much for your thoughts/suggestion...Thank you all so much for your thoughts/suggestions! I really appreciate it!Adriannenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4250988928163509961.post-62884710592770829502016-10-27T11:18:19.400-06:002016-10-27T11:18:19.400-06:00Why do I love this so much?! I personally think is...Why do I love this so much?! I personally think is fantastic from being to end. I need this book in my life, I pray you get a publisher!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16839510119870792025noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4250988928163509961.post-67533496835576168442016-10-27T01:06:08.554-06:002016-10-27T01:06:08.554-06:00I love the query/idea for this story. Dark and int...I love the query/idea for this story. Dark and intriguing.<br /><br />I second the comment on beginning with "Let me tell you a story." I didn't realize I wanted that until I saw the comment.<br /><br />Also, I think the description in the 250 could be a bit more fleshed out. I can't quite picture the scenery the main character is seeing.<br /><br />Overall, great job, would read on.Katherine T.https://www.blogger.com/profile/16694801421672317076noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4250988928163509961.post-90384305104308692292016-10-26T14:36:59.276-06:002016-10-26T14:36:59.276-06:00Excellent. Send it to me!Excellent. Send it to me!The Agentnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4250988928163509961.post-84020668597891762452016-10-26T10:09:25.532-06:002016-10-26T10:09:25.532-06:00Ooh, I like this! The opening line and paragraph o...Ooh, I like this! The opening line and paragraph of the query are really strong. <br /><br />Personally, I would cut the first four sentences of the story and start the manuscript with "Let me tell you a story." It puts the reader right into the action and makes the paragraph about the seer much stronger!Elissa Hunterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07686675272318573259noreply@blogger.com